Would you tell your 2.5 yr old where the baby comes out? - Page 2

[etsdtm99]

when my DS was born, DD was almost 26 months - i did not tell her, she did not ask - she stated that he would come out my belly button and i let her believe that until she eventually just figured it out.. not sure how but one day she was just telling me and she knew where babies came out.. .. this time, she is 4.5 and she knows from a book she has that babies come out of 'a hole between mommy's legs' .. DS is 2yr 4 mo and he tells me the new baby will come out a 'door' on the side of my belly (he points) .. i told him where the real 'door' is (between my legs) and he calls it the back door .

[luvmybaby333]

My policy is generally that if a child has the presence of mind to ask a specific question, then they deserve an honest answer. In this case, I don't see how the truth that babies come out of a vagina could be inappropriate at any age, so I would definitely advocate telling her the truth.

[desamom]

Thanks for all the responses, everyone! I really appreciate it. My DD hasn't asked again, but if she does, I will be honest with her. That was what my gut was telling me to do, but sometimes it's nice to hear from reassurance from others who have been there.

[Dahlea]

I would but try to keep it simple.

[IdentityCrisisMama]

Originally Posted by desamom

Thanks for all the responses, everyone! I really appreciate it. My DD hasn't asked again, but if she does, I will be honest with her. That was what my gut was telling me to do, but sometimes it's nice to hear from reassurance from others who have been there.

Like others have said, kids tend to ask the questions they are ready for, imo. DC went in stages - like absorbing a chunk at a time. At one point she got all the way to, "But, how does the sperm get from the penis to the vagina." I took a deep breath (not quite ready for this myself) and said, "Sex, mostly." Do you know what DC said after that? "Oh," and that was that for a long, long time.

My experience has been that by not skirting the complexity of the issue and answering honestly kids will ask the questions they are ready to hear the answers for.

[Limabean1975]

Haven't read the other replies- but before the birth I heavily prepared 3yo (at the time) DS with graphic videos, etc. Then he watched the birth - like really watched, saw DD's head crowning, the whole bit. It was great for him.

[zinemama]

Originally Posted by gummibears

My son is nearly 8 and we still haven't told him, and we don't intend to unless he really presses the issue. Otherwise he'll want to start looking around and all.

Could you clarify this? It sounds as if you are saying that you haven't told your 8yo son that a baby emerges from a woman's vagina, because if you do, he will want to start looking at or for women's vaginas. That seems like an odd assumption to make. Is that what you meant?

[Fuamami]

Originally Posted by IdentityCrisisMama

Like others have said, kids tend to ask the questions they are ready for, imo. DC went in stages - like absorbing a chunk at a time. At one point she got all the way to, "But, how does the sperm get from the penis to the vagina." I took a deep breath (not quite ready for this myself) and said, "Sex, mostly." Do you know what DC said after that? "Oh," and that was that for a long, long time.

My experience has been that by not skirting the complexity of the issue and answering honestly kids will ask the questions they are ready to hear the answers for.

That's what my experience has been, too. Sometimes I feel like I should elaborate, but holes in what I have told them seem to reveal themselves later. For example, my 5 yo asked me a few months ago how the sperm came out of daddy. I told him it was kind of like peeing, and then he asked if it hurt.

Originally Posted by zinemama

Could you clarify this? It sounds as if you are saying that you haven't told your 8yo son that a baby emerges from a woman's vagina, because if you do, he will want to start looking at or for women's vaginas. That seems like an odd assumption to make. Is that what you meant?

Maybe he has special needs?

[Aliy]

my two year old shows no interst in the baby in mamas belly... now my nearly 4 year old has been told and i have tld him baby's come out of mommy vagina and he just insits that they come out of the belly.....i don't press the issue but we have shown him birth videos and all that for preperation

[GracesMama]

I told DD when she was a little over 2 because I was pregnant with #2 and I was having the baby at home. It really wasn't a big deal.

[momasana]

I told my 3 yo DS. As others have mentioned, if they ask they deserve an honest answer. To me it seems so much easier to explain these things to an open-minded three year old than waiting to tell a giggly, red-faced "Oh my gosh Mom, gross" older child.

[donutmolly]

I told my DD1 when she was 2ish -- and also in the obsessed with who has a penis/vagina mode. Lik a PP said -- it seems a lot easier to tell a little kiddo who takes everything as a matter-of-fact, rather than an older kid who might fell like it's "gross". Of course, we were planning a homebirth, with the possiblity that she might be there for the birth. Watching birth videos really helped her visualize HOW that might work!

[MegBoz]

Originally Posted by mamakaikai

I happen to think that babies being born from vaginas is age appropriate information for all human beings.

I like how you phrased this & seems to make perfect sense to me.

Originally Posted by Megan73

Honestly, I bet he's already heard from someone else or will soon (and you may not like the version he gets). And there's zip, zero, nada evidence that age appropriate sex education makes kids preoccupied with sex.

Yeah, I think it's actually the opposite! I know I've read that abstinence-only sex ed has proven to be ineffective - resulting in higher rates of teen pregnancy, and I think (not sure) even higher rates of sexual activity as opposed to complete education on sex.

[kittywitty]

Yup. She knows and has watched videos. However, she still thinks the baby is "pooped" out. When we first told her she would yell "My baby's coming out!" when she went poop on the potty. It was quite hilarious and she's over that now.

[HRJ]

I'm not telling my 5 yr old son unless he really asks. but he's in Montessori kindergarten, and 3 weeks ago when we told him we were PG, he said he was going to tell everyone in 'sharing' at 'circle time' that his mom had a baby in her tummy. I really don't need him sharing where it will come out - I am not sure i trust him on that one.

[TheDivineMrsM]

Sure. I was 4 when my mom was pregnant with my younger brother, and I wanted to know how the baby got in there and how they'd get out. She explained it w/o euphemisms but in a way that I'd understand. I've been fascinated with babies and pregnancy and birth ever since. =)