Leaving my 15 month old for the first time...reassurance?

[ihugtrees]

My daughter is 15 months old this week, and I'm leaving her overnight for the first time. My husband and I have been having a lot of marital issues since her birth, and have signed up for a 2.5 day, 2 night marriage retreat called Retrouvaille in a few weeks...we decided to do a 'test run' this holiday weekend by leaving her for just 1/2 day + 1 night + 1/2 day. We will be 2 hours away. I have to say, I'm excited to have an uninhibited night with my husband, as well as just a BREAK...my sweet girl just started walking & is everywhere at once & I'm just SO TIRED the last few weeks. I feel more 'on' as a mom than I ever have, even when she was a newborn! So to be able to sleep in & relax with my hubby, & have adventures without worrying about naptimes & bedtimes will be a nice treat. I know I am going to miss her SO MUCH & just hope I can curb my anxiety & enjoy myself. My DH is in the military and has traveled a few times for up to a month away from her, so he is not having as hard of a time, though he has suggested more than once that we just bring her :-D I know we will at least have to face this in a few weeks any way and am hoping this will go so well that I won't worry when it's 2 nights away...

DD is staying with her 'aunt', aka my best friend who was there at her birth & has always been fantastic support for me. She is not a parent but follows similar principles as I do with parenting & I know she will take fantastic care of DD. I also know DD loves her & feels safe with her. Even still, DD does usually nurses once or twice at night, & this is my biggest fear...what if she panics because I'm not there to nurse her?? She's only had a few bottles in her life & hasn't ever done well with them (she does eat & drink a lot during the day though.) I plan on leaving almond milk for her to drink since I get almost nothing when I pump & figure almond milk or breastmilk in a cup will more or less be the same thing.

I'm just SO ANXIOUS. I know I'm going to miss her, and I'm also just anxious about being away from her. Can anyone else tell me about their first time leaving their kiddo overnight? Give me some reassurances that she won't be damaged emotionally or anything?

[jessemoon]

She will be fine! You will be fine...it is not as if you are leaving her for a month. Both of my kids started spending nights with my parents and were both still nursing. It worked out well. They loved it. There was a little sadness (on their part and mine) but overall it was positive. They are very close to my parents now and beg (at 3 and 6) to get to spend a weekend with Grandma and Papa.

I can't predict how your little one will react, but mine were certainly not scarred by the occasional night away from us.

If you and your husband need to work on your marriage, then do it. Your marriage is important to your family. If this will help you preserve it, then I think it is a matter of prioritizing preserving your intact family. This will benefit your daughter in the long run.

[spicyrock]

you guys will be fine! let yourself enjoy this time, because you deserve it, there is nothing wrong with it, your marriage is important too, it is good for your little one to have strong relationships with other people, and honestly, really, truly, she will be ok!

i was a super-stressed mom about leaving my dd for any length of time. i tried it once when she was pretty young- 9 or 10 months- and couldn't take it, went all the way back to nana's house and picked her up. then, when dd was a year old, our house burned down. i had to find another place to live, and fast, and we were going from hotel room to hotel room and basically living out of our car. i had to suck it up- and dd spent four nights at her nana's house while dh and i tried to pull together some semblance of a new normalcy. you know what? she barely missed us! she had a blast, and didn't even skip a beat. she's now 19 months and has had a couple of overnights at nana's house, including one longer stay (four days) when dh and i had an important trip to go on. she's very close to nana and gets extremely excited when she realizes we are headed toward her home. i know without any doubt that this is good for her- good for all of us- most parents DO need time to recharge, especially when something is stressing your marriage- and don't let ANYONE make you feel guilty about it.

ETA: i was already pumping breastmilk- i went back to work when dd was eight or nine months- so i knew she had no problems with mixing bottles and nursing. i think generally, babies with strong nursing habits are fine going a bit without nursing- yours will be, too.

[Norasmomma]

Does she already drink almond milk? That would be my only concern, nuts can be allergenic(not trying to be alarmist, I just had my first experience with food/nut allergies with my son, so I'm like really cautious right now).

My DD has stayed at her grandparents(my dad and stepmom, 10 minutes away) since she was about 2, she loves it there has only had one bad night where she was up at 3 am. Otherwise she's great. I would leave DS there, but he's only 11 months and nurses currently round the clock.

She'll be fine. If you need to work things out by all means try, it will be good for your DD.

[cowboyjunki]

I just left my 15 months old for the first time for 3 nights/4 days to go on a girl's trip with my sister. She tried to get me to go when she was 8 months old, but I was still nursing and there was no way I could have left her.

Everything was just fine. She was with my husband, but I had never been away from her for more than about 6 hours. It was really hard the first night for me, but then it got easier. Just think about how excited you will be when you see her again! I'm not sure about the nursing thing, but she should do fine. Have fun!

[ihugtrees]

Just wanted to let everyone know S was totally fine! She had a blast with her 'aunt' and hardly missed us. She asked for us a few times but when she woke during the night, her aunt gave her almond milk in a cup and cuddled her back to sleep with no problems. It was like going to DISNEY WORLD when I came home because I was so excited to see her (and vice versa!)

(For the person who asked, she did drink almond milk before now.)