Tear78, I don't mind talking about it, it was just such a fluke that I don't want anyone else to worry it's going to happen to them. The chances are so incredibly low that it shouldn't even be on people's radar. There's enough else during these cycles to stress about.
We did our first fresh cycle in the winter. Things went swimmingly. I had 19 mature eggs, 18 fertilized, we wound up with 11 multicellulars and one blast. We did a Day 3 transfer of two multicellulars and froze everyone else. Two weeks later we got the good news: pregnant.
I woke up one morning with some very intense pain on my left side, bad enough that I had my husband drive me to the doctor (I am a *very* independent person.. the fact that I could not drive myself there was a big deal). They ultrasounded me, saw the gestational sac (I was around 5.5-6 weeks), checked both tubes for an ectopic, and sent me home. By then the pain had subsided entirely.
Went in for my 7 week ultrasound... no heartbeat. Sac was still there, but measuring 5.5 weeks. They gave me the stuff to cause a miscarriage and I dutifully took it. Went back in for the ultrasound the following week to confirm it had worked (it hadn't, which I knew, and knew I'd have to have a D&C), he saw the remnants of the sac in my uterus. Then he went up to check my tubes.
And found a perfectly formed, alive and well, perfect little heartbeat. In my tube. At nearly 9 weeks gestation. Cue panicking doctors. I was in an OR 35 minutes later. I lost my tube, and of course the baby in it.
Then it was just a comedy of errors... I had started suppression for our first frozen cycle when I got the call that the biopsy from the D&C came back with endometritis, so we had to put the brakes on everything, I had to take antibiotics and wait out another cycle. Then he wanted to do a baseline ultrasound as I was beginning the next attempt at suppression, and found uterine polyps that weren't there before. So more surgery, two more lost cycles. Then I had to have a uterine biopsy, which did come back clear.
So NOW, finally, we're back at it for real. And while I grant that a frozen cycle is easier on the body, I'm finding it much more difficult in the head since it is so. freaking. long. I think I counted and the whole suppression + cycle is something like 70 days.
I do start the estrace today. The FET cycle doesn't have stims, just suppression and then the estrace to build the lining. I am actually still suppressing with Lupron even as I take the estrace. Weird.
My reaction the the BCP was exhaustion, wild mood swings (like, people didn't want to be near me), hot flashes like all get out, and just general malaise. It didn't get better as time passed or in subsequent cycles. I was told this is because the BCP they use for suppression doesn't have a varying dose, it's a solid, single strength dose the whole way through. Most BCP that people use have lower doses and then they ramp up and back down, so the side effects are lessened.
I hope this whole thing doesn't scare/depress anyone. As much as it's been a long and sometimes a hard road, I know in the end I'll have a little person from it. Whatever we have to learn about my body and the wonky ways it works to get there is knowledge well earned.
We did our first fresh cycle in the winter. Things went swimmingly. I had 19 mature eggs, 18 fertilized, we wound up with 11 multicellulars and one blast. We did a Day 3 transfer of two multicellulars and froze everyone else. Two weeks later we got the good news: pregnant.
I woke up one morning with some very intense pain on my left side, bad enough that I had my husband drive me to the doctor (I am a *very* independent person.. the fact that I could not drive myself there was a big deal). They ultrasounded me, saw the gestational sac (I was around 5.5-6 weeks), checked both tubes for an ectopic, and sent me home. By then the pain had subsided entirely.
Went in for my 7 week ultrasound... no heartbeat. Sac was still there, but measuring 5.5 weeks. They gave me the stuff to cause a miscarriage and I dutifully took it. Went back in for the ultrasound the following week to confirm it had worked (it hadn't, which I knew, and knew I'd have to have a D&C), he saw the remnants of the sac in my uterus. Then he went up to check my tubes.
And found a perfectly formed, alive and well, perfect little heartbeat. In my tube. At nearly 9 weeks gestation. Cue panicking doctors. I was in an OR 35 minutes later. I lost my tube, and of course the baby in it.
Then it was just a comedy of errors... I had started suppression for our first frozen cycle when I got the call that the biopsy from the D&C came back with endometritis, so we had to put the brakes on everything, I had to take antibiotics and wait out another cycle. Then he wanted to do a baseline ultrasound as I was beginning the next attempt at suppression, and found uterine polyps that weren't there before. So more surgery, two more lost cycles. Then I had to have a uterine biopsy, which did come back clear.
So NOW, finally, we're back at it for real. And while I grant that a frozen cycle is easier on the body, I'm finding it much more difficult in the head since it is so. freaking. long. I think I counted and the whole suppression + cycle is something like 70 days.
I do start the estrace today. The FET cycle doesn't have stims, just suppression and then the estrace to build the lining. I am actually still suppressing with Lupron even as I take the estrace. Weird.
My reaction the the BCP was exhaustion, wild mood swings (like, people didn't want to be near me), hot flashes like all get out, and just general malaise. It didn't get better as time passed or in subsequent cycles. I was told this is because the BCP they use for suppression doesn't have a varying dose, it's a solid, single strength dose the whole way through. Most BCP that people use have lower doses and then they ramp up and back down, so the side effects are lessened.
I hope this whole thing doesn't scare/depress anyone. As much as it's been a long and sometimes a hard road, I know in the end I'll have a little person from it. Whatever we have to learn about my body and the wonky ways it works to get there is knowledge well earned.
Thank you for sharing, and no you didn't scare me. I'd rather know the risks than be surprised. I'm so sorry. What a road you've been on.
And bottoms up! 
Where are you at in your cycle now???
to learn that it's probably just a cold. I just wanted to rule out strep, since I was exposed. phew! Anyway.....it's my birthday, I'm going to go eat pizza: take that, no-dairy TTC diet! 
We don't have to do the pill. I told him my fears, and he said "well then we won't do it." 
I'm feeling pumped and positive! (and still sick...and tired) I'm off to harvest some sunflowers seeds. 
Glad you popped in, and thanks for the positive words! 
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