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Fall IVF Support Thread - Page 30

post #581 of 689

Sarah, good luck! My critter is a snowbaby, success on our first FET. The cycle felt super long to me but was worth it in the end.
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by sarahcecile View Post

Sorry I have been so absent after asking to be included! It looked like we were going to skip this cycle because my husband's grandmother died. But conveniently AF decided to wait till today, which put us doing the FET in January, which felt okay.

 

Soooooo, I am on CD 1 now and I start my estrogen patches on Thursday. We are looking at a FET date of around January 3rd, and I am sooooo excited. 

 

post #582 of 689

Blue,

Thinking about you so hard today...praying for good news and a little heartbeat thumping away!!

 

Claire

post #583 of 689

First off, thanks for all your warm thoughts everyone - they are much appreciated!!!  I was so trying to keep the hope, but it has been bashed!  U/S today showed a pretty big sac with nothing in it now.  The baby must have been absorbed they said, so now we have to figure out what we do next.. wait it out (which he said could take up to a month), take some drug to speed it up, or have a D & C.  I haven't a clue what the right or wrong thing to do is.  HELP?? Anyone??  Sometimes life is just not FAIR!!!!!! mecry.gif

post #584 of 689

Oh Blue I am so sorry I've been praying for you, its so hard.  My thought are with you & your dh.gloomy.gif

post #585 of 689

Oh, no!!!  Blue!   Oh, I am so, so sorry.  We've shared this journey together, merely days apart, and here we are and it's Christmas and everything has turned out so terrible.  Oh, I am so, so sorry.

 

I know that for me, if I can (and the timing works), I plan to have a D&C.  There is a slight risk of a complication (very slight), but for me, waiting and waiting to get closure just seems too hard.  And of course if it happens naturally sometimes it doesn't all come out and you need a D&C anyway.  And the logistics of it frighten me.  I work in an urban area...so if it happened at work that means a taxi ride or subway ride home.  I can't remember what you do, but that is a factor for me.

 

Oh, geez.  I am really crying for you.  bawling.gif

post #586 of 689


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Maurine View Post

Oh, no!!!  Blue!   Oh, I am so, so sorry.  We've shared this journey together, merely days apart, and here we are and it's Christmas and everything has turned out so terrible.  Oh, I am so, so sorry.

 

I know that for me, if I can (and the timing works), I plan to have a D&C.  There is a slight risk of a complication (very slight), but for me, waiting and waiting to get closure just seems too hard.  And of course if it happens naturally sometimes it doesn't all come out and you need a D&C anyway.  And the logistics of it frighten me.  I work in an urban area...so if it happened at work that means a taxi ride or subway ride home.  I can't remember what you do, but that is a factor for me.

 

Oh, geez.  I am really crying for you.  bawling.gif


Thanks Maurine!!!!  hug2.gif to you too!!!!  You say slight risk of complications what exactly does that mean?????

post #587 of 689

Oh, no, Blue! This is just not fair!

I am so sorry to hear this news. hug2.gif

I had a D&C last time because I couldn't bear waiting. 

You and your DH are in my thoughts and prayers.

 

 

 

 

post #588 of 689

Just got the call from our nurse at the clinic.

9 fertilized and going strong.

She said that we should most likely be able to do PGD and a 5 day transfer.

DH and I are keeping our fingers crossed.

Thank you, everyone, for your support.

 

post #589 of 689
Quote:
Originally Posted by blueyezz4 View Post

Thanks Maurine!!!!  hug2.gif to you too!!!!  You say slight risk of complications what exactly does that mean?????



Well, they say there is a risk of perforating the womb or harming the cervix.  Which sounds just dreadful, but it's pretty low (I can't seem to dig up any statistics but it's low).   I found this website helpful (lists pros and cons of each method):  http://www.pregnancyloss.info/if_you_have_a_choice.htm  What did your doctor recommend?  All the various options have risks.

 

 

 

post #590 of 689
Thread Starter 

Oh, blueyezz, I am so sorry.  bawling.gif  This is just so unfair, and I am so sad for your and your DH right now!  hug.gifhug.gifhug.gif  Please, please only read the following when you feel ready.  Right now I hope you and DH take the time to grieve and process this loss. 

 

I think D&C vs. waiting vs. pills is a very personal choice.  I went with a D&C last pregnancy, and I always wondered afterwards if it confused my body, but at the same time I could simply NOT handle emotionally waiting it out.  Usually it is a very "easy" procedure, technically, but I actually ended up having hard-core bleeding, clotting and cramping about five days later, after which there was still something left in my uterus.  I ended up having to take the pills to relax my cervix and help me get the last parts out.  This is REALLY uncommon, but you were asking about possible complications and I wish I had known that beforehand.  For most people, a D&C gets everything over with quickly and relatively painlessly.  I'm so sorry you have to make this choice.  I'm thinking of you and your hubby!  gloomy.gif

post #591 of 689
Thread Starter 

songtothemoon, that is wonderful about your 9 eggies!!!  Keep growing, little ones!  I'll keep my fingers crossed for a day 5 transfer for you!

 

sarahcecile, how exciting to be starting your cycle!  Keep us posted!

 

Maurine, thinking of you tons still, and hoping hoping hoping for Thursday!

 

afm - the acupuncture is really helping, at least I hope that's what it is.  I have about six bandaid-needles in my stomach and chest to help with nausea and such.  I feel much better today, and therefore of course hoping our little ones are still growing strong.  Our ultrasound is at 3:30 tomorrow: I hope we don't get snowed out!  We're believing with all our hearts in our little ones.

post #592 of 689

Oh Blue, I'm so so sorry.  It's so not fair to go through all the pain and needles of the IVF and not get the baby.  I'm really sorry!

 

I had my miscarriage at home, and I'm glad I did because it sort of helped me process the loss to go through that birthing process.  That said, I only found out for sure about the miscarriage the day that it happened (which was only one day after I started spotting), so I didn't have to wait for it.  I don't know what I would have decided if I'd had to wait (even if it had happened a second time, and I already knew that I felt good about doing it at home).  I think I would have a hard time being in that limbo of not knowing when it was coming.  I talked with my aunt (who's a doctor), and she said that if I needed d/c, make sure that they were using the aspirator and not the scraping instruments (if I'm remembering this right)...it reduces some of the risks associated with d/c.  Aspirator works most of the time she said.  I don't remember the conversation exactly, but you might want to ask about it.  I'll be thinking of you and sending hugs.

post #593 of 689

Oh no blueyezz I'm so sorry I can't believe this is happening, you and your DH will be in my thoughts.

post #594 of 689

Blue I'm so sorry. I had the same thing happen... + test, excitement, then u/s with no heartbeat... it was devastating. I am so sorry that you're going through the same thing.

 

I was offered the same three choices: wait it out, cytotec to bring on the miscarriage, or d&c.

 

Waiting it out was not an option for me. I just couldn't do it. I needed it to be over. 

 

D&C was a surgical procedure, and if possible I wanted to avoid it.

 

I chose the cytotec. You insert it vaginally and within a few hours you'll start cramping and bleeding. If it doesn't move along you stuff another tablet up there. My doctor suggested doing it on the weekend because it can take 48 hours to finish. For me, it was not an enjoyable two days, but I also knew early on that it was not working in the way it was supposed to. I had a partial miscarriage, but not all of the products of conception passed.

 

When I saw my doc for the followup u/s he said the same thing, which meant that I was then required to have the D&C to prevent infection. Mine was complicated by the ectopic that they found at the same time, so I had two surgeries at once: they removed the fallopian tube the ectopic was in and they did the D&C. I was pretty dazed afterward, but in the days that followed I remember being sore in my girly bits from the D&C but not in outright pain. It was uncomfortable, but not terribly.

 

I wish this was not a choice that you had to make. If you choose the cytotec, please just know that what they tell you will happen is nowhere near as graphic as what really happens. If you want me to go into more detail I will, but I also don't want to scare you. Given the choice I think I would travel the same road.

post #595 of 689

Oh Blue I am so, so sorry. I was really hoping this was your miracle baby. I've had three m/c and twice the bleeding started and so it wasn't a choice of a d&c. The last one I gladly would have taken a d&c because I didn't want to go through it again - emotionally more than physically. However I hesitated when it was offered and my RE had me schedule an appt in a week to check again. Then I started bleeding the next morning so it wasn't a long wait. If you ever need to talk please PM me. Take care of yourself.

post #596 of 689

Oh Blue, bawling.gif I'm just so incredibly sad and sorry that this is happening to you. After everything you have been through...to say that it's unfair seems a ridiculous horrible understatement. There should be a new word for this kind of injustice. brokenheart.gif

 

I'm sorry you even have to consider the options of how "best" to have a miscarriage. Ugh.

 

I, personally, could NOT wait it out. I had a "missed miscarriage" with no sign in sight of my body passing it, and each day that I imagined being pregnant with a dead baby was so horrifyingly traumatic to me that I just couldn't do it. I think I would have felt differently if I felt that the baby would have been developed far enough along that I could hold it and bond with it...but by the time I would have miscarried, in all likelihood, my baby would have been pretty much re-absorbed, as yours seems to be.

 

So...I had a D&C. I actually had a really "great" experience with mine (as "great" as such a situation can be). The staff at the hospital were sensitive and caring, the procedure was easy on me physically, and I had little to no cramping or bleeding afterwards. I was, frankly, glad to be on painkillers for a few days, because it helped dull the emotional pain of those first few days for me (which sounds horrible, I realize, but it was true...it doesn't help that my miscarriage came just months after nearly losing my husband to a traumatic brain injury...it was a VERY rough few months!!) I found the emotional pain to be the worst of it, but that exists no matter how you miscarry.


I just wanted you to know that, for many people, a D&C can be a very uncomplicated and "easy" procedure, and if it helps you to know that the physical part is over and done with (as it did me), then that is a perfectly good option to consider. Worrying about being "natural" or "crunchy" enough is, in my opinion, not something to prioritize when you're dealing with the loss of your baby. At least that was how I felt.

 

So so SO many hugs.

Claire

 

P.S. Tear, still thinking of you and your babies...can't wait to hear about tomorrow.


P.P.S. Maurine, still praying for your bean, and for a miracle!!

 

P.P.P.S. Song, that's wonderful, 9 fertilized!!!!!!!

post #597 of 689
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tear78 View Post

 

afm - the acupuncture is really helping, at least I hope that's what it is.  I have about six bandaid-needles in my stomach and chest to help with nausea and such.  I feel much better today, and therefore of course hoping our little ones are still growing strong.  Our ultrasound is at 3:30 tomorrow: I hope we don't get snowed out!  We're believing with all our hearts in our little ones.


Tear - What are bandaid-needles? Are they in place right now? Fantastic that they are helping. I've heard great things about acupuncture for nausea. Safe travels for you to your u/s tomorrow!!! Can't wait to hear how they're doing!

post #598 of 689

Blue - I'm so, so sorry for your loss. I'm thinking of you.

post #599 of 689

Thank you everyone for all your feedback and sharing your info/experiences!!!  I feel so blessed to have this group to lean on!!  I have an appt with my new OBGYN tomorrow to talk everything over.  Not the best way to meet a new Doctor, but that is life.

 

Tear - how did it go???  Can't wait to hear about those twins or triplets in there!!!!!!  Fill us in girl!  We need some more positive info on this thread!!

 

Song - 9 is great!!  Let us know when you get your next update!!  Sending you positive vibes!!

 

Maurine - thinking about you for tomorrow!!!  Fingers crossed for a miracle!

post #600 of 689
Thread Starter 

blueyezz, thinking of you today!  That is how we met our OBGYN actually, and it was their kindness and sensitivity that let me know we had found a great place.  I hope that you have a similar experience.  I'm so sorry you are going through this, sweetie.  hug2.gif

 

song, the bandaid needles are little tiny needles held on by band-aid like patches, and they stay on for about a week.  I was actually hungry this morning, which was awesome.

 

Thanks for asking about us and supporting us, you guys.  I feel so lucky to have you ladies!!!  We had our second ultrasound today and saw two gorgeous little heartbeats.  The one little guy is stilling measuring a bit behind (like, about 4 days, but considering it was WAY smaller last time I think it's doing GREAT!); our doc said that he thinks they both look good and strong so far.  Keep it up, little ones!!!

 

Maurine, I'm thinking of you like crazy for tomorrow!  Good luck, honey!!!!!!

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