Oh Blue, I'm just so incredibly sad and sorry that this is happening to you. After everything you have been through...to say that it's unfair seems a ridiculous horrible understatement. There should be a new word for this kind of injustice.
I'm sorry you even have to consider the options of how "best" to have a miscarriage. Ugh.
I, personally, could NOT wait it out. I had a "missed miscarriage" with no sign in sight of my body passing it, and each day that I imagined being pregnant with a dead baby was so horrifyingly traumatic to me that I just couldn't do it. I think I would have felt differently if I felt that the baby would have been developed far enough along that I could hold it and bond with it...but by the time I would have miscarried, in all likelihood, my baby would have been pretty much re-absorbed, as yours seems to be.
So...I had a D&C. I actually had a really "great" experience with mine (as "great" as such a situation can be). The staff at the hospital were sensitive and caring, the procedure was easy on me physically, and I had little to no cramping or bleeding afterwards. I was, frankly, glad to be on painkillers for a few days, because it helped dull the emotional pain of those first few days for me (which sounds horrible, I realize, but it was true...it doesn't help that my miscarriage came just months after nearly losing my husband to a traumatic brain injury...it was a VERY rough few months!!) I found the emotional pain to be the worst of it, but that exists no matter how you miscarry.
I just wanted you to know that, for many people, a D&C can be a very uncomplicated and "easy" procedure, and if it helps you to know that the physical part is over and done with (as it did me), then that is a perfectly good option to consider. Worrying about being "natural" or "crunchy" enough is, in my opinion, not something to prioritize when you're dealing with the loss of your baby. At least that was how I felt.
So so SO many hugs.
P.S. Tear, still thinking of you and your babies...can't wait to hear about tomorrow.
P.P.S. Maurine, still praying for your bean, and for a miracle!!
P.P.P.S. Song, that's wonderful, 9 fertilized!!!!!!!