Long hair on toddlers (particularly boys)

[YayJennie]

My 17 month old has beautiful, curly hair that his father and I have decided we never want to cut. However, it's at that awkward stage of bangs-in-the-face, and he won't let us put a hat, bandanna, or head band on him to keep it out of his face.

The only thing we've found that works is a "clippy" (one of those simple snap barrettes). I think it's fine...it keeps the hair out of his face and he likes it, however, he has been mistaken for a girl by almost every single stranger that has talked to him the past 2 weeks we've been using the clippy.

If you have a long haired toddler, what did you do to keep the hair out of their face at this stage of hair growth? Also, if you have a long haired boy toddler, does it bother you if they get mistaken for a girl?

My husband looked just like my son at this age, and I remember my MIL telling me she ended up cutting my husband's hair because everyone mistook him for a girl. But I don't really see the problem with it. Little kids are all kind of androgynous anyway right? So tell me stories/show me pics of your little boys with long hair...I'd love to know I'm not alone with a long haired boy!

[ShadowMoon]

He's no longer a toddler, but my 3.5 yr old has long, slightly curly hair past his shoulders. http://i738.photobucket.com/albums/x...3/IMG_0630.jpg (He's in his cousin's room, lol!)

He's always been mistaken as a girl but that doesn't really bother me. I either correct the person or let it go. It is annoying, but our society is practically trained to put gender in specific boxes so it is what it is.

If the clip is working then I would keep using it. DS doesn't mind hats, bandannas, or having his hair tied back. He hates clips though, so sorry I can't be of more help there.

[butterfly_mommy]

DS wears his hair longer (or wacky as he calls it) He had the little point cut off the back of his hair on his second b-day and he has since had 2 hair cuts for bangs as his hair in his face was driving him crazy.

Anyway he was always mistaken as a girl. He wears an amber necklace and I think this and the fact his hair was a bit longer made people think he was a girl. Yes it was annoying but I either corrected people "Oh HE will have the chicken fingers, please" or DH would always call DS Buddy or guy after someone referred to him as a girl. Or i would just let it slide. He hasn't been called a girl lately.

[trauerweidchen]

We're running into the same problem. I'm considering trimming our 15 month old's bangs just for practical reasons, but I love the way his hair looks right now. I don't really care what strangers think; with a name like Julian, half the time they think I'm saying "Julia" anyway. My little brother had long, beautiful curly hair and was mistaken for a girl frequently as a toddler. He has grown into a wonderful, confident young man with no problem.

[twinergy]

A liberal application of extra hold hair gel keeps DD's hair out of her face. I got a large tub of it from the beauty supply store very inexpensively. DS's hair isn't long enough yet that people regularly mistake him for a girl, only on the days he decides he wants to wear his sister's pink clothes.

[crunchy_mommy]

About 70% of people seem to mistake DS for a girl... partly his long curly hair & partly just the kind of face he has! (DH calls it a Gerber face ) I do not put clips in his hair, I would feel weird about that, but if you & your DS are happy with it then I don't see an issue!

DS does wear a hat often when out & that helps keep the hair out of his face. For a while I was trimming his 'bangs' a bit to get them out of his eyes but now I'm just letting it grow & pushing it behind his ears (doesn't quite reach yet, especially on days when the curls are extra-curly!) He doesn't mind some hair in his face anyway -- I'm the one always pushing it out of his eyes -- but I think we might try bandanas down the line in addition to his beloved ball caps.

I don't really care if people think he's a boy or a girl. His name can go either way as well. Usually if I'm just having a passing conversation with a stranger, I don't bother correcting them, but if it's someone we anticipate seeing again, I just say, "Oh he's a boy, everyone seems to make that mistake though!" -- something like that. I do know some kids are sensitive about being called the wrong gender but DS doesn't care, at least not yet.

[ann_of_loxley]

It bothers me he gets mistaken for a girl because he looks nothing like a girl. His clothes are not girly at all. He is wearing very boyish clothes. He just happens to have long blonde hair and a pretty face to match it! Other than that, I don't really care! lol

He has long hair because he wants long hair and sometimes he even wears it up in a pony tail! His hair - his choice!

[YayJennie]

Originally Posted by twinergy

A liberal application of extra hold hair gel keeps DD's hair out of her face. I got a large tub of it from the beauty supply store very inexpensively. DS's hair isn't long enough yet that people regularly mistake him for a girl, only on the days he decides he wants to wear his sister's pink clothes.

What kind of hair gel do you use? We considered hair gel, but I'm not a huge fan of putting tons of chemical's on my kid's head. It probably doesn't hurt to put a little hair gel, but if I was using it everyday I would want it to be pretty organic/chemical free (we use all natural and dye free/scent free soaps and shampoos as well because my son has kind of sensitive skin).

I would cut his bangs, but I don't particularly like bangs and I figure if we're going to let it grow, let's let it grow! The hair in his face definitely bothers my son though....he'll yank on it and fuss when it's in his eyes, and he has to look up because it covers his vision. So I really don't like that. The clip does seem to work, and I have no issue with people thinking he's a girl. Honestly, it makes me pretty happy to know that his clothes aren't too "boyish", as I'm due with a girl in November and she'll be wearing all his smaller clothes! Although just wait, my girl have straight short hair and always be mistaken for a boy You can't win!

[tzs]

as part of our jewish tradition we don't cut boys' hair until their 3rd birthday so i guess i'm used to seeing boys with long hair. for the awkward band stage i've seen clippys and also the sprout-looking pony in the front with a rubber band which i think is just the cutest.
certain boys end up having the longest most beautiful hair that any girl would kill for but at that point i'm not so into the "look."

[star*mora]

my 3yr old has long curly blond locks - and he loves having long hair
i've asked him if he wants to cut his hair - no - his choice (was my choice until he could tell me and i love it long)

for the in between stage i slicked back with a bit of coconut oil - worked for us - ds1 has fairly thick hair and was only for a month or 2 that it seemed to bother him

[Contrariety]

I wish I had an answer for you. DS's hair was always long until we finally had to cut it this spring because he would NOT keep it out of his mouth. He refused to let me tuck it behind his ear and it was always in his face. I was so sad to cut it short and I miss it every day. We are now growing it out again and will just keep it shaped around his face so it is not tempting for him to eat it and it will stay out of his eyes... hopefully! I hate this kid with short hair. It's completely alien to have a short haired boy after three years of a long haired one!

[lookatreestar]

im trying to get my ds trained to wear a hat! but so far no dice... haha i just love the look of hats on little boys. my dh hates hats too (he thinks his ears stick out)

anyway, everyone says "oh what cute little girls!!" ... honestly if it is just someone in the passing i don't correct. but if i am going to see them again i usually say something so they aren't continually saying she. my ds has similar hair and i have put it in a pony before and everyone teases me about it but who cares, my dh has a pony and no one mistakes him for a girl (maybe its the beard ) i have started sweeping his hair to the side and hopefully it will just train itself to go that way, however dds hair is always in her face too. hmm. i am open to cutting it but then you have the upkeep but dh would be in charge of that.

your ds is cute, i say keep using the clip if it works!!

[lookatreestar]

Originally Posted by YayJennie

What kind of hair gel do you use? We considered hair gel, but I'm not a huge fan of putting tons of chemical's on my kid's head. It probably doesn't hurt to put a little hair gel, but if I was using it everyday I would want it to be pretty organic/chemical free (we use all natural and dye free/scent free soaps and shampoos as well because my son has kind of sensitive skin).

I would cut his bangs, but I don't particularly like bangs and I figure if we're going to let it grow, let's let it grow! The hair in his face definitely bothers my son though....he'll yank on it and fuss when it's in his eyes, and he has to look up because it covers his vision. So I really don't like that. The clip does seem to work, and I have no issue with people thinking he's a girl. Honestly, it makes me pretty happy to know that his clothes aren't too "boyish", as I'm due with a girl in November and she'll be wearing all his smaller clothes! Although just wait, my girl have straight short hair and always be mistaken for a boy You can't win!

hahah omg yes! my dd was a total baldy as a baby! i would have loved for her to have the hair ds has for pony tails! i had a lot of people say what a cute boy she was- dressed in a pink dress or a purple onesie

for the record, i always say "what a cute baby!!"

[twinergy]

Originally Posted by YayJennie

What kind of hair gel do you use? We considered hair gel, but I'm not a huge fan of putting tons of chemical's on my kid's head. It probably doesn't hurt to put a little hair gel, but if I was using it everyday I would want it to be pretty organic/chemical free (we use all natural and dye free/scent free soaps and shampoos as well because my son has kind of sensitive skin).

The stuff I'm using right now is cheap with artificial color and fragrance and is what was in my budget that month. I looked around a bit and didn't find anything that was unscented, even the stuff I got from Whole foods for about 10 times the price. Maybe someone else would have suggestions. But you have got me thinking, maybe a homemade gel would work. With a quick google search I found this thread with lots of ideas; it's a starting point if this is your inclination. If you try this I would love to have a recipe that works.

[Mama Mko]

I used to put my son's hair in a ponytail on top of his head. You can also do a little side braid at the top. My oldest is 5 and still gets mistaken for a girl with his long hair, but we correct people and move on. He wants it long so long it stays!

[LadyCatherine185]

Hi Jennie!!

Liam gets mistaken for a girl ALL.THE.TIME.... Since his hair is straight and grows forwards, I just cut bangs for him.... My nephew has curly hair similar to Wyatt's though, and I cut his hair, and he has "bangs" as well.... I would just brush it to the side and use a definite part when it is wet to try to "train" it to go to the side. You could even put a bobby pin in it while it is wet and then take it out when it is dry and it should stay to the side a little better.

It doesn't really bother me when he gets mistaken for a girl... he is most definitely ALL boy, and I always dress him like a "boy" so I really don't get how people think he is a girl... it is usually older people who probably aren't used to seeing boys with longish hair. :

[Logan's mommy]

He's not happy in this picture, but here's my long haired toddler. He always gets confused for a girl, even if he wears something all blue and says "Prince Charming" We just tuck his hair behind his ear when he eats. I don't get annoyed with him being called a girl anymore, because it's just natural (sadly) for people to see a child with long hair and assume it's a girl. I just correct or call him by his name (Desmond, which doesn't always work, people will sometimes still think he's a girl after hearing his name... that amazes me)

[haurelia]

Hi there!
Our 19 month old has long-ish hair, but I just can't bear the thought of cutting off those baby wings and curls just yet. DH is irritated by folks assuming he's a girl (although he's usually dressed in a boyish way). I couldn't care less! Thankfully, his natural cowlick sends the front of his hair into a rather "comb over" like pattern, so the back is usually the only part flying around. We haven't had to do anything with the front to keep it out of his way, other than smooth it over with a palm. I tuck the rest behind his ears sometimes, or just encourage the curl with my fingers when his hair is damp. Here he is: http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pi...&id=1602502452
So, for your bangs issue, I'd likely try to train the hair to go to the side while it's damp...brush it over and use the clippy and see if you can't get it going that way on it's own. Good luck!

[SubliminalDarkness]

Oh boy, been there! Both my boys had long hair up until very recently. Even up until my DS1 was 8 years old, people were still calling him a girl sometimes, and I'm sorry, but it was VERY obvious that he was a boy. It didn't bother any of us, but it was odd to see it happen. (I will say, my mother was very bothered by it, but I don't care).

We never did anything to keep hair out of their eyes. Maybe that's bad, but we didn't. They just got used to it.

Last year, DS1's teacher started putting barrettes in his hair while he was at school. One day, she forgot to take it out before sending him home, and so we saw it when he got off the bus. DH was LIVID. He went straight to the principal. The teacher apologized a thousand times, and I think she really was sorry. DS1 had never been bothered by the hair being around his face because it's all he'd ever known. I guess the teacher assumed it was a problem, or perhaps it bothered her, I don't know. But DH took it as a real offense to his parenting choices.

Anyway.... My answer is that we didn't do anything

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pi...&id=1132744646

[nolonger]

My Elder son was 8 years old when wanted his gorgeous, blond, waist length hair cut because he was so tired of being mistaken for a girl. I felt that he was old enough to understand the consequences and permanency of this decision and was tired of all the pressure from the ex and my parents, so i agreed.

On our first trip out of the house with short hair, a sweet little old lady stopped to admire my child's polite, "ladylike" behaviour and said to me in a very loud stage whisper, "Don't worry about her hair. It will grow back and she'll NEVER do that again after the way she gets teased!"

Long hair on boys is common around here and even though ds was "all boy", his delicate facial features and bone structure were probably what confused the woman. He's tried to grow his hair long again, but could never get past that "awkward" stage where girls and women just grab a clip.

My younger son gets mistaken for a girl too, but I think I handle it differently since he doesn't have a close-in-age sister. I don't really want to buy into the whole "gender coding" of clothes and toys--this child looks TERRIBLE in pastel blues and pinks so i prefer bright colours and earth tones and since I have to sew for him anyway, I like soft, comfortable fabrics and simple designs. I wouldn't dress him any differently if he were a girl and a lot of his hand-me-downs DO wind up going to girls. He hated cars until recently, we don't watch spectator sports, and we're not into hunting or fishing so why should his clothes and toys constantly advertise those motifs?

I don't immediately correct if it's just a "Your baby has beautiful eyes" encounter. If somebody says, "Is that a boy or a girl?" for no reason or because they don't know how to relate to a child whose sex is not immediately apparent, I usually reply "Yes." and go about my business, otherwise I try to hold off on "Actually he's a boy" until it is relevant to the conversation, but I do feel kind of bad about how embarrassed the other person can be and try to treat it with the same sensitivity I would if I'd been talking to someone who assumed I was the grandmother instead of the mother.