Originally Posted by LadyCatherine185
Liam gets mistaken for a girl ALL.THE.TIME.... Since his hair is straight and grows forwards, I just cut bangs for him.... My nephew has curly hair
similar to Wyatt's though, and I cut his hair, and he has "bangs" as well.... I would just brush it to the side and use a definite part when it is wet to try to "train" it to go to the side. You could even put a bobby pin in it while it is wet and then take it out when it is dry and it should stay to the side a little better.
It doesn't really bother me when he gets mistaken for a girl... he is most definitely ALL boy, and I always dress him like a "boy" so I really don't get how people think he is a girl... it is usually older people who probably aren't used to seeing boys with longish hair.
I quoted the above post because the child in the pic *behind* your nephew with the curly hair in front (the child w/ the straight hair behind him- your child, or no?) is almost a spitting image of my child, 18 mos. Too funny! Not just the hair, but everything. I think many people seeing that picture might actually think that was a photo of my son lol.
His hair is now long enough for ponytails/clips and does sometimes need to be slicked back also (we just use water so far) on hot summer days so it does not bother his neck/ears/forehead, but I know it is getting longer by the day, and even before it was getting to the noticeably long stage, he was often called a girl since 5-6 mos or even younger, don't recall exactly.. Plus, in the state i live in, long hair in winter is a big advantage, boy or girl, since it gets FREEZING! So, no plans for a cut here!!
My son was born with plenty of hair and it keeps on growing- I have just gotten to the stage now at 18 mos where people ask if/when he'll get his first cut, to which I say I see no reason to, the maintenance, the silliness of it all, etc., winter coming and the practical reasons to have an extra layer of protection and insulation... and that i want him to make the choice and be AWARE of what is happening.. now I did not have a gender ultrasound specifically because, as a pp pointed out, babies and toddlers and even young kiddos are androgynous in many ways, and and I did not want a stereotyped gender idea pushed on my child before he even left the womb.. even though his sex is clearly known now, I still emphasize to people that we are all about incorporating fun, bright, vibrant, and varying colors, to match the joy and fun of childhood, and that we will not be constrained by gender distinctions in descriptors, interactions, clothing, or hairstyle- the approach all kind of goes together I guess. I prefer not to cut his hair at least until he is old enough to express a preference; I like the idea of children having as much say and responsibility in day to day choices as possible.
I also really dislike jeans and such which I feel are uncomfortable, so I dress him in clothes, either used and/or organic, cotton, wool when needed, which are anything from rainbow striped, to solid colors like navy or grey or the typical white onesie with pants or overalls, plaid or navy overalls, etc- the overalls are more boy-ish I guess, and the bland/neutral colors on occasion also perceived as such, but he's still been mistaken for a girl all the time, even before his hair got longer.. he has a very chubby cute "beautiful/some would say feminine" face, huge blue eyes and long eye lashes, and long straight blonde hair. I like purple a lot, so sometimes when he is wearing purple that makes people think he is a girl- I think it is an awesome fun color for any child and love his purple clothes!
I have had to trim his bangs about five-six times between 16-18 mos as they seemed to bug him in his eyes, but have now realized and decided that if his hair is to continue to grow out, I don't want to deal with the upkeep of bangs (and my poor skills with haircare like that, and the risk of eye stabbings with a scissors in close proximity to squirmy toddler) so have chosen to stop cutting them now, brush to the side until the hair will naturally tuck behind his ears and grow with the rest of his hair. I have been experimenting with different tools to keep it back for now if need be.
Though not yet in public, I have experimented with the "poof" ponytail sticking straight up on top (I think it is adorable regardless of gender), and a clip to hold his bangs out of his eyes as OP mentioned.. he won;t really keep hats on reliably.. his li'l clip is brown, fairly plain, but hairclips or styles are still associated with girls in our society- that said, OP, who cares what they think as long as your DS is not bothered by it, do what works!!
Now that I have decided to let the bangs grow too, I do plan to utilize a hairband/ponytail and/or clip both in public and at home for those few months of awkward hair too long for bangs but too short for tucking behind the ears.. I am comfortable with that.. so you are not alone. but anticipate even more gender mix-ups and "beautiful little girl" comments as hair gets longer methinks.. they (gender misidentificaton incidents) don't upset me except to the extent that there are these tight little boxes contructed to mold our children into and it restricts their individuality- but I think we all know that is just the general problem with our society and why we've chosen to make different choices in parenting..
But seriously- my goodness, these are BABIES lol. So at least for me, both for philosophical reasons of wanting not to limit my child in any capacity based on gender/sex, and also for eco/environmental reasons, I wanted a wardrobe that was more androgynous, for future children/hand-me-downs, as well as because I think bright colors and patterns reflect the fun and exploratory stage of childhood and are fun!! so while I don't make a point of putting him in pink all the time to challenge social norms, he has a couple outfits with pink in them (though he has outgrown two of the three I can think of)-- the one that still fits is a tie dye t-shirt, mainly purple/blue tie dye with a rainbow heart in the middle, the center of the heart is pinkish tie dye about 1-2 inches.. at the airport earlier this summer (his first flight!) the attendant at the counter asked a question about 'my daughter,' I simply replied to her question with emphasis on "he" and answered her politely, to clarify his gender and address the question, but was not upset.. she seemed flustered and said, "well, with the pink on his shirt, I assumed..."
I just said, in a friendly tone, that we don't really worry about "boy versus girl colors" that as long as it is comfortable for him (cotton, fits well etc.) it is all good for us, but that it's no biggie and that others have made this error at times (funnily enough, the pink was just one hue out of the rainbow tie-die, and the smallest color represented among the entire rainbow lol; 90 or more percent of the shirt was a blue-ish/purple color, the pink in the heart on the front was a tiny patch in the center of the heart- oh well.)
I do hope that by gently discussing the issue a bit when time and context allows it will give people some food for thought. But I understand over time mamas might also just let it slide or not want or be able to take the time or energy to correct them or discuss the issue- I do see it as a learning/teaching opportunity though.
Even when wearing fairly androgynous or "boyish" clothes, DS can be mistaken for a girl I think based solely the hair and face, and I imagine this will be greatly exacerbated for him/us as his hair continues to grow, so we'll be dealing with this even more than we have in the past, I imagine, but I am not too worried and see it as an opportunity to kindly let people know that in this day and age, it is okay to let go of the stereotypes of the past, and that I have no intention of limiting my child's color choices or toy choices or anything else based on his reproductive system/sex chromosomes. Functionality and comfort win out over outdated stereotypes in my book any day!
OP, best of luck, and I see no problem using a clip if that is what works best for your son's comfort!! As another PP pointed out, adult men can be secure in their gender identity and wear long hair/ponytails, as women, though maybe a BIT less so, can be comfortable with shorter hairstyles, so even moreso with kids who DO have more androgynous traits and are not of sexual maturity, do not even KNOW their own gender lol, it is odd to me that this is an issue.. but the first haircut is abig step, I think long haired toddler boys are adorable, and as stated like the idea of including them in decisions about things like this.
Best of luck, peace and love to your and yours!!
Namaste, MG (and DS 18 mos)