Anyone else have a 2-year old driving them crazy?!

[JanineRivera]

Hi,

I so need some reassurance and advice right now. I am completely at the end of my rope. My daughter just turned 2 a month ago and for about the last month has become a complete nightmare. I hate to write so negatively but I am just so frustrated, exhausted and hopeless. She has always been a wonderful kid, so loving, and it seems that more often than not now she is screaming. I mean that she screams and cries for long periods of time several times a day and this seems to happen only when I am around!!! I can't take it anymore. My patience has run very thin and I fear how I am going to continue to handle this behavior for much longer. Is this a normal stage? What can I do to handle this better?

When we are with a particular clam friend of hers I begin to compare them and can't understand how her friend is so calm and cooperative while my daughter is constantly pushing for the opposite of what I am asking all while yelling and crying. I know that she is wanting independence and choice and with that said there are still times that it would be nice if she did things without a screaming fight.

I feel horrible about all this and find myself not wanting to interact with her at times because I am just so done which I know is probably adding to the problem. Please tell me there are others out there that feel like there kid is screaming and fighting you non-stop. I really don't wish this on anyone else but I just need to know that I am not alone.

Also, I should mention that for the last few months I have been working to start my own business and realize that often my attention is else-where and I am gone sometimes so I think that this may be related. What do you think?

Thanks for listening and offering your reassurance and advice,
Janine

[gravida]

I am in a very similar spot. I am starting a business as well, DS is a total velcro baby and at the moment I have mono so I'm exhausted to start with. DD is very high energy, very stubborn, very curious - well very 2. Everything is a battle with her these days, even things she loves like picking her own panties. We have a friend a few months younger and she just hangs out, listens to her mom, very rarely tantrums and it is so frustrating to see when DD, like yours, has long EPIC tantrums several times a day. She's had a few over the last couple weeks that have lasted nearly an hour and nothing anyone can do will calm her. I just wait it out and she falls into an exhausted sleep (this always happens around lunch and nap time)

I think it is normal for some kids to be a bigger handful at this age. It's totally personality. I try to keep in mind that she is just 2 and is not in fact trying to give me grey hair but trying to figure out how the world works and where she fits into it. I also try and see things from her point of view which is really helpful and sometimes makes me see that what I am asking seems unreasonable. Sometimes I tell her Mommy needs a time out and I go into my master bathroom and take a few moments to calm down before I loose it.

The biggest thing that helps is after the storm passes I try and think why her personality, which is sooo challenging now, is going to make her into an awesome adult. She is so passionate, loving, strong willed, imaginative, fearless and unrelenting which make her a super difficult 2 year old but is going to make her one very amazing 20 year old. That also changes the way I deal with her. I want to keep those traits alive but I also want her alive past the age of 3 so I'm trying to teach her to use her powers for good rather than evil and not squash them out of her.

All this sounds good but it is hard. Really really hard most days but I try and come back to these thoughts when she is having a difficult day.