would you give up your animal because of allergies?

[enchantinglysimple]

For the longest time now I have been desperately wanting a good friend I can rely on chat with and help out. Someone who has a child around my son's age and lo and behold it happened. A sweet single woman with a son a month older than mine moved in down the street and I we have really hit it off. She is what I have been praying for.

The only problem; her son has MANY allergies, now his food allergies really don't bother me a bit. He has all the major ones like; peanuts, eggs, wheat, soy, etc...
But he is also allergic to a lot of enviromentals; grasses, pine trees, sheep, and of course, cats. She told me he is highly allergic to cats and wouldn't you know it, I own a cat. I don't know what to do and I am hoping some of you can help me out.

Because of her son's allergy to cats she can never bring him to my house and since she's single I have been helping her out a lot by watching her son. But it is difficult to not be able to bring him to my house because I also have 12 month old dd who needs to take a nap now and then.

Now she is getting married in October and I am her maid of honor and she'll be moving at least an hour away soon. And even though I don't want to I have thought about finding a new home for our cat, so they can come over.

Is this crazy? We are very good friends even though we havne't known each other long, so when she moves I really think we will maintain a close relationship. And when she comes out here we will only be able to meet somewhere else because of our cat. Now I love our cat, but we've had him since the end of April when we adopted him. It makes me sad, but I really want to do the right thing, but I don't know what that may be.

So what do you all think? Would I be a horrible person to condsider finding our cat a new home? Any suggestions at all would be very helpful. Because I am very unsure of what to do.

[Dingletwitz]

If the kiddo has that many allergies, it won't matter if you have a live cat in the house or not--the cat residue will be in everything--furniture, linens, carpet, nooks and crannies. I think we can have great friendships with others even when they have not ever been to our houses. We have some vacation buddies that haven't ever been over--not that we have cats but if we did it wouldn't matter much.

[lifeguard]

Seriously?

No. I developed allergies to cats & dogs after having both for many years. They are still living in my home. I really cannot fathom giving up a family pet 'cause someone else might occassionally visit.

[enchantinglysimple]

Originally Posted by Dingletwitz

If the kiddo has that many allergies, it won't matter if you have a live cat in the house or not--the cat residue will be in everything--furniture, linens, carpet, nooks and crannies. I think we can have great friendships with others even when they have not ever been to our houses. We have some vacation buddies that haven't ever been over--not that we have cats but if we did it wouldn't matter much.

Originally Posted by lifeguard

Seriously?

No. I developed allergies to cats & dogs after having both for many years. They are still living in my home. I really cannot fathom giving up a family pet 'cause someone else might occassionally visit.

Dingletwitz-

Thanks for reminding me about that! I was just hoping because we are getting new carpet and furniture upstairs that would help. And he is mostly an outdoor cat and spends most of the day outside.

Lifeguard-

Thank you for your honest opinion, I completely understand and agree with you about what you said.

[kittywitty]

No, I wouldn't. I can't even imagine giving up my pets which are living, feeling creatures for somebody else to come visit. When you take in an animal, you're taking in a member of your family not just a book or a chair. Rehoming the cat would be cruel because they are often dumped on shelters and put to sleep or mistreated. I can't fathom giving one of mine up for anybody at all.

[2xy]

No, I wouldn't. Heck, my oldest DS is allergic to cats (we didn't find out until he was 12). As much as it would have hurt my heart, I asked him if he wanted to rehome the cats. He said no....he takes allergy meds year-round for his other environmental allergies, anyway. We just keep the cats out of his bedroom.

[ASusan]

Yes, I gave up my cat for my DH, and then DS, who are allergic. When DH and I moved in together, the cat lived with colleagues for 6 mos., and then to my parents for her last 3 years. Given all the other allergy problems DS has, it would not be fair for him to also have to deal with a cat.

[And to drive home the point, we went on 'vacation' a few weeks ago, starting our trip by spending 2 days with friends who have cats. Even though they vacuumed very well, wet-mopped everything else, and put us in a carpet-and-cat-free bedroom, DS still ended up in respiratory distress. He didn't respond to his nebulizer and required a call-in prescription for oral steroids, on a Sunday. Monday, he was still quite uncomfortable, and we had to stay in hotels for the rest of our trip, rather than with my family (who also have a cat).]

[mamafish9]

I would absolutely rehome a pet if one of my children had allergies. And I completely understand your desire to make your home as welcoming to a friend as possible. But, I suspect the reality of her marriage and moving an hour away will make visits less frequent - so in that case, I would probably seek some ways to support visits together without being at your home - perhaps meeting at a park or indoor playground halfway between your two homes?

[enchantinglysimple]

Originally Posted by mamafish9

I would absolutely rehome a pet if one of my children had allergies. And I completely understand your desire to make your home as welcoming to a friend as possible. But, I suspect the reality of her marriage and moving an hour away will make visits less frequent - so in that case, I would probably seek some ways to support visits together without being at your home - perhaps meeting at a park or indoor playground halfway between your two homes?

Mamafish

I think I am really leaning toward what you said. I really do want to make my home welcoming for my friends and her son, and it bothers me they can never come over unless her son isn't with her. And I am a big homebody I really don't like to go out, but I guess we could find places half way between us.

Thank you so much for your opinions so far, it's so nice to have some advice from others

[SoulCakes]

There's no way I would ever give up one of my pets because somebody might someday occasionally visit. I love them like I love my kid!

Honestly, it doesn't sound like you're all that attached to your cat. Is there a deeper reason you're considering rehoming her?

[Otto]

Originally Posted by enchantinglysimple

So what do you all think? Would I be a horrible person to condsider finding our cat a new home? Any suggestions at all would be very helpful. Because I am very unsure of what to do.

"Horrible"? It's not something I would ever do, but neither would I call it horrible if done responsibly. Simply relinquishing the animal to county animal services does not fall into this category. Keep in mind that rehoming a cat isn't easy--shelters are overflowing, the new home has to be evaluated, and, really, if they wind up being unable to care for the animal, it's ethically your responsibility all over again. (Indeed, depending on where you adopted, you may have an obligation to relinquish back, which is how most no-kill shelters in my neck of the woods operate. This however just keeps another needy animal out of the system.)

If you decide that you have to rehome the animal, it looks like Salt Lake City has a good bunch in these folks. If you don't know someone personally who would adopt, I'd talk to them--they'll almost certainly manage the listing and adoption process, so long as you can hold the cat in the meantime. And be prepared to make a generous donation.

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

I would never do that to a pet because of the situation you describe.

[changingseasons]

If it was a choice between putting my child on medication or getting rid of a cat, you can bet your ass that cat would be gone (and I am a HUGE animal lover, so that decision wouldn't be made lightly.) But for someone else, that just comes to visit? No way.

[enchantinglysimple]

Thank you so much for all of your responses. I am definetly going to keep my cat, because I do care very much about him and after giving it some thought I wouldn't want to find him a better home because I think he loves his home with us and we love him. It's somewhat riduculous for me to give him up because of a friend who MIGHT visit now and then after they move in October. I am sure we can find a neutral place to hang that is cat free when we get together

I am a big time animal lover and I know how hard it can be to find a good home for an animal. But I have never had a friend like this before and I guess it always figures that just when you find something your are looking for, it's difficult to work out because of some other issue.

Thanks again. Any other opinions are very welcome : )

[dannic]

Originally Posted by changingseasons

If it was a choice between putting my child on medication or getting rid of a cat, you can bet your ass that cat would be gone (and I am a HUGE animal lover, so that decision wouldn't be made lightly.) But for someone else, that just comes to visit? No way.

yup to this and mamafish's comments