APRIL 2010 Mamas, through September 18th - Page 2

[loveneverfails]

Welcoem back, Ann! Good to see you.

How are you doing with processing your birth? I know it didn't go the way you hoped and planned it would, and that can be difficult.

[Peace+Hope]

hey anne, welcome . i hear charlie waking up so i can't add you right now, but i will soon!

thanks for the bday wishes

love hearing how you guys are loving your babies and the time with them! i get bored sometimes, but really love seeing this little person grow and change every day. lately, i've been thinking about my pre-e again, and thinking it might be irresponsible to go for a second pregnancy. so, i'm soaking it all in every minute!

bedtime - charlie demands to be wound down starting 7:30 at least, and is usually asleep by a few minutes after 8. we just work around whatever else we're doing. my husband works from home but typically works til at least 6:30. as soon as he's done, he plunges in to whatever we need though. so, sometimes we cook together and sometimes one or the other of us has charlie. we have always been late eaters, but are trying to sit down no later than 7... it's not easy, as set in our ways as we are after all these years

sewcrafty, we got a breadmaker for a wedding gift and used it about 5 times. it made such hard bread . that's a long time ago now though... maybe a juicer, if you want a kitchen gadget? or a immersion blender? LOVE that tool.

[ivymae]

You stinkers, I hadn't realized we had moved! I just have the old thread bookmarked. Oops. So is it a weekly thread, not a monthly one?

Dena. I STILL have dreams about my mom. The good ones are of siting in "her house" (usually a small craftsman style house,with loads of plants and twinkly lights on the front porch) and talking. The hard ones are the ones where I have to remind her she is dead. I cherish the first sort, but am still broken by the second type. I pray your mama finds "her house" soon, and you can start visiting her there. I go back and forth between believing it's just a place my heart invented so I could deal with the greif, and believing that it really is her in some way, where ever she went. I don't count on ever getting used to the idea of her being gone. It's not a daily sorrow now, but it also hasn't faded. Don't push yourself, you are not grieving 'wrong' - there's just no right way to do this.

Becky is feeling mildly better, thanks to oragel. I somehow managed to get through two kids without it, but Becky was a wreck, and I was willing to do anything to calm her down. T and I joke that she's such a sweet, joyful baby most of the time, that she had a lot of crying saved up. I don't remember teething being this bad with the older girls, but then again I probably blocked it out.

Also notable: she's sitting up! She still falls over after a minute, mostly because she's looking for her sisters, but she has the straight back, rahter than the hunched over 'tripod' sit. I love this stage. The next one, where they are really mobile, isn't so great (aaarrrrgggg baby proofing), but having a new vantage point is fun.

I have 29752 other comments to reply to, but am late, always late, getting out the door. Now that i know where you guys are I'll come back this afternoon.

[ann_of_loxley]

How are you doing with processing your birth? I know it didn't go the way you hoped and planned it would, and that can be difficult.

I think it is something I will be processing for the rest of the my life. I doubt we will ever have more children. At this point, if we were to shoot for a third, my only reason would be the hopeful vaginal birth. I can think of a million reasons why I am happy with the two I have - and only one reason why I would want a third. So I don't think we will be trying for a third. I hope that does't make me sound terribly sad. Its the truth though. There are many moments of the day I still sit there and think about it all. I know (simply - if that is possible! lol) having a vaginal birth would be terribly healing for me - in many more ways than one! - but a third pregnancy would be hard on my body I think. I know this will all get easier when I no longer have a baby - because when you no longer have a baby, most of the people you hang out with also no longer have babies so you arn't always talking about pregnancy and births, etc. So hopefully, I will eventually be able to bottle all of that up and just hide it somewhere - out of sight, out of mind? Totally healthy right? lol

Wow - Hamish is no where near sitting up! He has a rather long torso though so he is a bit extra top heavy. He also always trys to lung forward. We call it the suicide leap because it doesn't matter where he is - he is always trying to do it. This makes trying to sit up not possible at the moment because he just leaps forward back onto his tummy. DS1 didn't sit up until he was near 11 months old though. Wonder if Hamish will do the same?

I find it fascinating comparing the two. Not in a competetive way - just in a 'wow - they are SO different!' kinda of way. I really enjoy being a mother of two and am still loving this age gap!

[sew_crafty_girl]

My son was sitting for short periods by this age and Maia was by 6 mos; but Anna is still li
Lunging all over the place too.

Do you guys find that baby abandoned a skill for a while when then focus on a new one? She used to roll tummy to back bur gave that up when she learned back to tummy and now that she's making more noises and blowing raspberries she barely rolls at all and is happy to lay there.

I'll talk to dh about crib in our room.
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[jsh7809]

Originally Posted by snoopy5386

This weekend I was feeling this frustration - I was outside and DD1 was happily playing in her sandbox and I was holding DD2 looking at the mess that is my back patio and wishing I could just *do something* - weed, clean up, fix the patio furniture, etc. And then I stopped myself, realized that next summer I will be able to do those things, but I won't be able to hold a snuggly baby on my lap and who *cares* if the patio has weeds anyways and I just snuggled Kelsey closer, sat back and enjoyed the view.

Awwww, I definitely catch myself in the same thing a lot. For instance, today I have a babysitter and then my mom coming (I have a cold and need to catch up on work, too), and then DH comes home and helps with bedtime. So I've been trying to have a LOT of snuggle time with the baby, since she'll get less one on one time with me later. It's crazy how busy things tend to be, I have to stop and think, wait, this little girl wants nothing more than to be carried close to my heart, I need to make time for that!

Bedtime: ours was getting later and later, more and more informal, and suddenly she wasn't going to sleep before 11pm AND was still getting up at 6 or 7. Phew! So I tried going back to the No Cry Sleep Solution's recommendations, and I think part of it was that she was finally ready and part of it was that the sun goes down a little earlier now. So we start getting her ready at 7 (bathtime, pajamas, storytime, cuddles and nursing with mama, swaddle) and she drifts off about 7:30. This has been a HUGE accomplishment for us (so I'm sure it'll change any day now). She often wakes back up and needs resettling every hour for a bit after that, but sometimes she sleeps for 3 hours or so before waking up. It used to drive me so crazy that she would always wake up after her first sleep cycle, but I really do think they're at the age now where they like the routine. She can seem wide awake and as soon as we complete the little bedtime routine, she starts yawning hugely (which is SO cute!). I've noticed she needs less sucking to fall asleep now, too.

Next up, I am going to try to use the NCSS to hopefully get her to learn to resettle herself so she's not waking up every 1-2 hours. I miss the nights of 5 hour stretches! However, it's going to take a lot of patience and I'm already so exhausted... bah.

S is still not into rolling, although she does lots of baby bridge poses and when she's on her tummy she pushes way way up. She seems frustrated to not already be more mobile. I love watching her discover things and delight in her world. She's finding her tongue more - lots of raspberries and spit bubbles - this morning she somehow got spit in my eye!

She's sitting up unsupported!! Not totally steady, but it's getting there. I can't believe this is the same little baby I couldn't even hold one handedly to eat dinner a few months back. Love it!

[jsh7809]

I too have been wondering how those of you with traumatic or disappointing births are coping. Ann, I can totally relate to that feeling of "if I have another, it would be to prove something to myself/ have a different experience"... I feel like I would only want another baby so I could do it "Right", both birth wise and without falling into a scary PPD black hole afterwards. Not the best of reasons!
I know that if you or I do have another child, it would be for lots of good reasons, too, but right now that's the only impetus I have. I plan to just have this one (that was the plan all along) and live vicariously through friends by getting to hold their newborns and then go home and sleep

How about those with the NICU stays? Feeling more resolved? I am feeling much more okay about my post birth trauma/ surgery, and am working on coming to terms with the PPD stuff. I'm feeling much more like myself but it's scary to think back about how awful things got, how hopeless I felt. I've thought about ways of "going public" or trying to give PPD less of a stigma, but that's a pretty intense idea. Not sure what or how or if I"m ready.

Oh, and Ann, I think the long torso prohibits S from rolling much (or maybe it's the chubby thighs?). And I have a friend with a 1 year old who does the same kind of "suicide leap" (that's what they call it too!) when she's tired and frustrated... she'll be in their arms and suddenly fling herself forward or back with her arms out, crying. Funny!

More baby cuteness - S doesn't seem to be much of a shrieker but she has started exploring the highs and lows of her voice and it is adorable. I can already picture her telling herself little stories in bed at night or in the morning. I love this little girly, and I feel so grateful to see all of her little personality things come out!

She's a tough customer when it comes to giggling, although she'll grin at anything and is a very happy girl over all. What makes your babies laugh? S is hard to get to laugh, but when she does, it's the biggest high I've ever felt.

Sorry for the looong serial posting, I'm just excited (albeit sleep deprived) to be here with all of you!

[laughingfox]

Happy belated birthday, P+H

sew_crafty- I also have a breadmaker that makes very hard bread. The breadmaker can't pre-heat before it bakes, since the bread's already in there, and I think that's what causes the weird texture if you bake it in there.
What I do is let the bread complete its rise cycle in the breadmaker, then take it out, shape it, and bake it in fancy artisan loaves. Then I get the perfect texture. My breadmaker has a "dough" cycle for this.

Blargh. I am having a day.
I have an offer for part time work, but I don't know yet what the pay will be like.
I thought I had a baby sitter lined up, someone who's totally awesome and very AP, but now that's seeming like it might not work out, so I might have to go with *gasp* a stranger I found on the internet!! I found a lady on craigslist, and I talked to her on the phone, and am going to meet with her on Thursday. She sounds really nice, I'm just .... so not happy with this whole idea.
Besides, if the pay isn't good at the job, I'd be paying more for childcare than I'd be earning, which is pretty pointless.

I just can not figure out a way to fix our finances, and it's killing me. DH is already working 2 jobs, and is already applying to lots of other jobs hoping he can find someone willing to pay a decent wage.

I was going to go back to college, and have been approved for loans and grants, but I can't get them until my application to the school is approved, and that can't happen before they get my transcripts, and I can't afford the transcript fees, so I'm just stuck.

In so many ways, just stuck.

[ann_of_loxley]

This weekend I was feeling this frustration - I was outside and DD1 was happily playing in her sandbox and I was holding DD2 looking at the mess that is my back patio and wishing I could just *do something* - weed, clean up, fix the patio furniture, etc. And then I stopped myself, realized that next summer I will be able to do those things, but I won't be able to hold a snuggly baby on my lap and who *cares* if the patio has weeds anyways and I just snuggled Kelsey closer, sat back and enjoyed the view.

I remind myself of this everyday! When I find myself thinking 'boy I wish I could just...'...I remember that this time is so short and he will soon be off and running away from me! lol

[loveneverfails]

Jess, I'm doing better at this point. I still need to see the medical records from the bigger hospital, but I know exactly what I'm looking for on the records and will just chill out and ignore everything else. It was a bit triggery for me to write up and go through my birth story for the news article, especially because the writer came back to me with edits asking for more information about how I felt, was I scared, etc. But I'm doing ok for the most part.

Jess, you seem to much happier and more content compared to where you were a couple of months ago, and I'm so so so relieved for you.

[rhiOrion]

Jess- L is a tough cookie to make laugh, too. DH's coworker's five year old had her in absolute hysterics the other day, though. It was adorable.

[jenfl]

Laughing -- Well, Sprout cracks up at anything, always has. He's a total goofball. But his favorites are watching Nugget and being held by one parent as the other dances toward them.

NICU -- I don't know. The pain isn't as sharp. But DD still needs to talk it out a lot (the picture of Sprout with an IV in his head, not seeing me for those days, me crying when I did get to spend 45 minutes with her). Looking at our records the other day, DH mentioned the l-a-w-y-e-r word. But I'm just not up for it, especially considering the employment situation. I just wish there were a way to show the intern who put everything in motion how wrong her call was. I don't want her to do it to someone else.

laughingfox -- I'm so sorry. You just can't seem to catch a break. Any chance of getting finacial help with the fees?

[sew_crafty_girl]

Anna is ticklish so that's mostly how we get her laughing. She's a super smilie baby but rarely laughs without coaxing.
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[jsh7809]

When I tickle S, she kinda giggles but gets mad. Which makes sense, that's kinda what tickling is all about!
She had a marathon giggle fest at the crazy faces her grandma made today, SO awesome, and I got it on video!
LNF, thanks, I am feeling so much better and more like myself! Except for this wretched cold. It's hard looking back and confronting the scary stuff I went through, but it's definitely necessary. Can't wait to read your story in the article!

Now, I'm trying not to tear my hair out after reading stuff about baby sleep. Apparently she's perpetually sleep deprived which is what's keeping her awake. I'm a mom so it's probably all my fault, right? Argh.
I'm trying to figure out how to get her to sleep on her stomach, but she always always pushes up onto her arms and it wakes her up. If she could get comfortable with it, though, I think it would help with the flailing and the gas. But I don't know how to roll her onto her tummy without waking her... grr.

[jenfl]

Jess -- how about laying her on her stomach after you nurse her in the middle of the night? She's probably pretty conked out at that point and might put up with it. After a while, she'll get used to it.

[Peace+Hope]

jsh, have you tried laying her on her side? that seems to be the key for charlie... he calms quickly on his stomach, but only if he's really tired. i'm not so sure her being over-tired is the only option. couldn't it be developmental wiggles?

[loveneverfails]

Jen, I understand.

I've had a bad day, and my husband *still* isn't home because he was at a dumb toastmasters thing at his dumb job. Luckily, the man doesn't have a death wish, so he's bringing me home a hot fude sundae. Thank God all the kids are in bed and asleep now. Took them long enough! And we're only 36 hours away from the start of school. YAY FOR SENDING OLDER CHILDREN AWAY TO STRANGERS TO LEARN THINGS AND NOT ASK ME 50 GAZILLION QUESTIONS ALL AT THE SAME TIME, IN SURROUND SOUNDS!!!

[Peace+Hope]

ivy, sorry you were lost! i proposed doing our thread here as a weekly in our DDC and nobody said anything against it... it thought we'd be so busy posting we'd get lost on such a long thread? for anyone who gets behind, it can be overwhelming.

anyway, i will NOT be around this weekend, so if anyone else could start the new thread, that would be great. or, i could edit the thread title and give it another week...

we're going to a family reunion in MS. should be fun, we're flying with charlie for the first time, and i'm doing the food for everyone saturday, with lots of help of course .

[jenfl]

P+H -- I think it would be fine to let it ride an extra week. We could do a two-week-thread instead of weekly. And have fun! We flew with DD at this age and it was fine. Nursed her going up and down. The only bad part was DH dropping the arm rest on her head... while she was nursing... twice! He still feels bad about that...

[Peace+Hope]

Originally Posted by jenfl

P+H -- I think it would be fine to let it ride an extra week. We could do a two-week-thread instead of weekly. And have fun! We flew with DD at this age and it was fine. Nursed her going up and down. The only bad part was DH dropping the arm rest on her head... while she was nursing... twice! He still feels bad about that...

thanks for the feedback . i changed the date on the thread to the 18th, cause i think our weekly thread in our DDC was saturday-saturday?

that's funny about the armrest.... now! i'm hoping charlie will nurse on take-off and landing, but he's so not a comfort nurser that i'm a little nervous about it. and we don't have a pacifier.