APRIL 2010 Mamas, through September 18th - Page 5

[Carita]

woohoo dena! dani has been a much better nurser too - ever since i went back to work, i think because she hates her bottles.

[GreenTeaGinger61]

Dena:

I also want to add some hugs as you deal with your grief. I really just can not imagine where you are. My mom despite our issues is wonderful and I can't imagine now having her around.

P+H: Happy belated birthday. We're planning a late fall trip to the mountains so we'll have to meet up to share cake.

LF: I hate being in this place with money. The surrogacy thing is something I've considered as well. I have a friend who did this and it paid the down payment on her house so it's not just a wonderful thing to do for another family but it does pay well.

Sleep: We are now starting to iron out Rowen's sleep routine. She is usually down for good by ten and then up at nine for a couple of hours before taking a nap. This works well for me as I am so not a morning person Her naps have been awful lately. She just won't sleep unless it's quiet which is never is here.

Laughing: The other beasties can get her to laugh but not dh or I. She laughed her fool head of last night. It was very cute.

I wouldn't label her as serious (that was my middle dd) nor goofy (that was the other dd). She's more like her brother...very observant and even tempered.

So Rowena was super awesome for class again! She slept through the whole class. One of the students said "I totally forgot she was even here!" And another one said "You're like the best mother ever!" LOL. She was surprised at how calm I was when R started crying at one point. Then I told her I had four and she almost passed out It's been good to sit in the class as it's helping me to remember why I love the academy. I've been having some issues with bias against mothers, etc. But luckily there are super awesome professors like this one who lets me bring my baby to class. Love him!

And I've got a new project idea concerning birth and religion. I have a ton of ideas that I'll be sorting through. And if any of you like this kind of academic thing someone has already done a study on homebirths and religion called Blessed Events.

Now my problem: H had a hard time with R while I teaching on Tuesday. R cried a lot. Some of it was my fault as I had not brought the other kids. They really do entertain her. But H is determined it's because she's hungry. Now he wants to give her some solids. I'm very torn. I had thought about trying to see if she'd take formula from the bottle but that's crap shoot. She'll be five months officially on the 15th. Would you try some simple solids first or formula? I'd rather do neither but I don't think H is going to get behind that plan.

Oh and I'll be in Leesburg, VA this weekend. Anyone near there?

[Carita]

can you pump a bottle extra at your morning feed? I would offer that before formula or food. how long do you teach on tuesday? can you nurse just before you walk into the classroom? maybe that would quiet your DH (oh and your baby too )? LOL

[jsh7809]

Will I never stop being totally and completely confused about this baby's sleep?! She is a sleep fighter, never gets a decent nap. I seriously think she's slept over 1.25 hours in the daytime maybe twice in the past 4 months. Sigh.
So, I'm reading the No Cry Nap Solution and trying to stay calm and think clearly. I'm so done feeling like I have no life whatsoever because I have to work to get her to sleep and stay asleep over half of my day and night. Argh.
And now we both have colds, but thankfully, S seems okay so far. I feel miserable but she just seems stuffy and sneezy, cheerful as usual.
So, how long do you let your babies cry before you go to them in the night? I'm trying to get better at not being so crazily responsive - because she very rarely actually wakes up in the night, it's more that she's crying in her sleep and wiggling, and that can go on, off and on, for up to an hour before she'll wake all the way up, unless I turn on the light and wake her up. It's usually due to having to poop. But it's driving me mad! And my mom said that around 4 or 5 months is when she started letting me cry a little longer, and I would usually fall back to sleep. I don't want to CIO, but clearly this is different... but since she wakes me up crying anyway, I don't know if it makes sense to let her cry off and on until she eventually cries herself awake, in little minute long bursts.
I hate how stupid I feel about this, still, because I'm so sleep deprived, and because she makes so much noise in her sleep, I have a hard time knowing what she needs.
On the plus side, she's bouncing in her funny little way - balanced on one leg, using the other to push off like she's doing a little hillbilly jig - while we listen to Depeche Mode and it's adorable. I'll post videos one of these days.
I love how S is a totally different personality than I ever could've imagined. All of those years when I wondered who my baby would be, what my daughter would be like, and even through pregnancy and her first few months, I had a different picture in mind, and she's so amazing for who she is! It's like she's still revealing aspects of her persona to me, and I can't wait to see who she continues to grow into. We're still so close and bonded, but more and more I'm realizing she's a different person from me. Does that make sense?
Off to try for another long nap - it seems to work best if I stay in bed sleeping with her - oh, so sad!

[sew_crafty_girl]

Well today isn't going like I imagined but I guess I need to expect that the days of being treated like a princess on my bday went by the wayside when I became a mom, right?

I had planned a lovely hike in the cool woods and hubby called just as I was waking up Anna, after the 1/2 hr drive there, to put her in the ergo. Stepdaughter was puking at school. Awesome. I won't be getting a present today because we overspent as usual and hubby and I are fighting so who knows if he'll be cooking
me dinner and bringing home cake as promised.
Posted via Mobile Device

[jsh7809]

Okay... naps seem to work like this:
-she nurses or finger sucks to sleep on the bed with me, I move her onto her tummy/ side and let her suck on my pinky till she's out. Then she'll sleep on her own for 20-45 minutes and I can sneak away. But THEN! she always always always wakes up. Wide open eyes, talking, crying, the works. So I've been just proceeding like it's time to get her up, cause she's obviously awake. But I'm experimenting with getting back with her and letting her suck some more, and she's been falling back to sleep! It takes awhile, but she definitely is still drowsy and falls right back to sleep.
But then, however, she keeps waking up unless I keep my finger in her mouth the whooole time. Like, I keep having to run in there every 3 minutes to give her my pinky, or she'll wake herself up. So, she's been sleeping, kinda, for almost 2 hours, which is unheard of, but there was a wake up in there, and about 10 little 'I'm gonna wake up if you don't put something in my mouth right now!' peeps.
I really want to improve naps, for both of our sakes. She's obviously so much happier when she does get a good nap, and I'm hoping that will help her to sleep better at night. But she is so sensitive to the daylight, and I think she opens her eyes a bunch at that point in her sleep cycle, so she wakes up if I don't help her stay asleep by giving her something to suck.

So... any advice? I'm going to try just letting things go as much as I can and hoping I can stay with her to get at least a good 2 hour nap every day for a week or so, then gradually see if she can get used to keeping it going mostly on her own. I'm also going to work with her to see if she can sleep on her tummy more, since I think she's old enough and that it will help her. Going to make DH put darker blinds in her room, and keep trying to get her to take a pacifier. Maybe this'll get easier once she can reliably suck her thumb? I can't see doing this for another year or so!

I'm picturing getting a little tiny baby sleep mask, ha ha, somehow I don't think that would go over.

[jsh7809]

Originally Posted by sew_crafty_girl

Well today isn't going like I imagined but I guess I need to expect that the days of being treated like a princess on my bday went by the wayside when I became a mom, right?

I had planned a lovely hike in the cool woods and hubby called just as I was waking up Anna, after the 1/2 hr drive there, to put her in the ergo. Stepdaughter was puking at school. Awesome. I won't be getting a present today because we overspent as usual and hubby and I are fighting so who knows if he'll be cooking
me dinner and bringing home cake as promised.
Posted via Mobile Device

I'm so sorry, that SUCKS! Ugh... I know what you're saying, you kinda have to let go of those expectations when you are a mom, but, still, bleah. I spent my birthday exhausted after the baby barely slept the night before, and mother's day at the in-law's, trying to enjoy a dinner partly in my new-mom honor, but mostly I just had to walk and nurse a crying baby while everyone else ate. DH had a crummy father's day because I promised to let him sleep in but I was such a nervous, exhausted wreck that I made him get up and take care of the baby while I slept and cried. Ugh.
Hey, there's always next year... or even tomorrow! I do hope you get that dinner and cake. I wish you happy birthday! Maybe you can get a do-over?

This is my last post - sorry, I swear! - just wanted to share some videos of the baby laughing and bouncing in case you are not on FB.

Giggling like a psycho with her daddy:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=30m6q8oP7iw

laughing at grandma:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C8GKpleH4Qw

dancing in the bouncer:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2AwZgfxNzPQ&

[OneWithTwo]

Originally Posted by sew_crafty_girl

Well today isn't going like I imagined but I guess I need to expect that the days of being treated like a princess on my bday went by the wayside when I became a mom, right?

I had planned a lovely hike in the cool woods and hubby called just as I was waking up Anna, after the 1/2 hr drive there, to put her in the ergo. Stepdaughter was puking at school. Awesome. I won't be getting a present today because we overspent as usual and hubby and I are fighting so who knows if he'll be cooking
me dinner and bringing home cake as promised.
Posted via Mobile Device

s so sorry hopefully he does cook for you and you do get a cake

[jenfl]

I'm sorry, sew_crafty. That sucks.

Jess -- I'd definitely look into black-out curtains. Sprout needs it pretty dark. And, yeah, we call those the "half hour waking". Sprout did that for months, and DH often could go in and "shake" him back to sleep (hand on his bum, wiggle back and forth until he conked). It's them hitting that point in the sleep cycle where they go to light sleep. If you can help her get through that and sleep longer, she'll slowly learn and mature enough to get herself through. It used to be Sprout woke up at 30 minutes every nap -- now it's the exception.

Oh, so, you know you're a mom when....

Today was Daddy-Daughter Day. They went to Universal Studios for the day (Nugget's favorite). Got home around 4pm, Nugget was so thirsty and downed an entire glass of cow milk and half a glass of water. She and I were snuggled on the couch, reading. And, suddenly, she spit up ALL OF IT. And, without thinking, what do I do as it's happening? Hug her closer. We both needed a wardrobe change.

[jenfl]

Oh goodness. I was looking through old blog posts from when Nugget was around Sprout's age.... she started crawling before 7 months. Sprout's only 1.5 months away from when she started crawling.



I mean, I know all kids are different and stuff.... but he's ahead of where she was on gross motor....

I'm not ready for a crawler!!

[Peace+Hope]

In MS, staying at a KILLER lakehouse! Lee and I are here alone tonight, oh, and Charlie . This will be the site of the reunion starting tomorrow, but for now, it's like a vacation! And we're in the master bedroom - dong the food and we needed at least a queen. We have a king suite with a huge bathroom, soaking tub and shower/steam room. We gist spent 2 hrs skinny dipping under the stars in the salt water pool and whirlpool. It's serious luxury, nice to have rich, generous friends!

Dena, . And I'm wondering why you asked about another tooth. I know they tend to come in pairs, but are you saying the pain is worse for babies before the tooth first cuts through?

Rhi, gl with your new plan! How are Fridays working out with your husband being a SAHD?

GTG, yay that R is doing great in class. Agh, I hate that push-pull of "the baby is hungry" discussion. Of course if she is you want to feed her, but is she? I hope you don't have to start solids before you're ready.

LNF, surrogate, wow, that would be so cool.

Typing from my phone, probably won't have time to check on tol sunday. Have a great wknd y'all!

[GreenTeaGinger61]

Carita: We have pumped fresh and she still won't take it. In fact, she gets mad. She'll suck and when she taste the milk she gets this shocked look on her face and screams. Basically we know she can suck, she just won't once she tastes the milk. And we have literally pumped it into the bottle. I have no idea. It's a first.

P+H: It is very hard. I know that on Mondays when H has to have her for four hours she must be starved. On the T/Th, I think she's just tired and she's used to nursing to sleep. It won't matter if H feeds her or not, she'll be grumpy. But on Mondays, I do worry.

She does act very interested in food, and has started to purposely swipe at what we're eating. She grabbed my ice cream cone last night and I had to PRY her fist out of her mouth to wash it.

SCG: Hugs. I hope you got cake and lots of it.

Jess: I have no idea! We are not good sleep parents. For one thing, we are out all the time so R has learned to nap in the sling a lot. I mean we sometimes are out every week day. It's crazy. On those rare days when we're home, she will sleep alone for about 20 minutes at a time. If I know she's extra tired, I nurse her at the computer and do my work for classes, or I lay down beside and read stuff for work. All of my kids now sleep on their own, and sleep a good nine-ten hours so it did all work out in the end. Good luck, and it is rough. I'm having a hard time without my naps and been very snappy lately.

[GreenTeaGinger61]

Has anyone heard from shantiani?

[Dena]

P+H - I did ask because the teeth tend to come in pairs and, yes, in our experience the pain seems to be worse before the tooth pops through. Hope it is better for him soon!

SCG - I hope at least some of your birthday was salvagable.

Jen - Yipes. Sofia was crawling at 7 months too, though Ellen was around 8 or 9, I think. Odd, because she is way ahead of Sofie in gross motor now. Go figure. Maybe Sprout will be so happy with sitting that he doesn't crawl for awhile. Maybe.

Jess - S sounds a lot like Sofia at that age. It gets better, I promise. She is sure cute, though!

AFM, I think we have teethers here too. I know I am getting gnawed on pretty regularly. But the fact that they are the cutest babies in creation more than makes up for it.

We had an er, fun experience here today. Dh had a telephone interview with a local accounting firm () so I took Ellen and Maya with me to go pick Sofia up from school (Hannah was sleeping). We were, naturally, late, and halfway down the block Ellen's diaper started coming off. Fixed it, she went five steps, and off it came again. No time to go back, and I was silently cursing at myself for not bringing the stroller. So I put Ellen on my back and trotted on - Ellen on my back and Maya in the mei tai on my front. My legs and butt are SORE now! I'm sure we were quite the sight. Time to replace the velcro on my diaper covers...

ETA: Oh, and Maya and Hannah are five months today!

And Maya continues to nurse well after Hannah has nursed! This has made our lives so much easier, as poor Hannah doesn't have to wait anymore! Our Happy Hannah is even happier now! (which I honestly didn't think possible, because she is already the happiest baby I have ever seen...)

[rhiOrion]

I haven't heard anything from Shantiani. Looks like she hasn't posted since May. I was also wondering still about Sehbub, since she hasn't posted since May, either, so I messaged her yesterday. Haven't heard anything back, yet.

[loveneverfails]

So, uh, I seem to have inadvertantly participated in a hatchet piece. Evidently a prompt of "when home births don't go according to plan" really means "home birth deaths!: when malpraticing midwives attack."

I am not happy, and I have an email into the writer.

[snoopy5386]

Cheap Blackout Curtains - black plastic tablecloths from the party store and masking tape. We travel with these and tape up the windows wherever we stay. All of our family looks at us like we are nuts, but if we don't do it, the kids are up at the 1st hint of sunlight, so you know like 5 am in the summer. They are used to the dark at home so they need it when we are traveling too.

Crawling - Kelsey can already move sooooo much more that Morgan ever did at this age. Morgan was literally a lump until about 9 months old and didn't full on crawl until 10.5 months old. Kelsey can spin and move up to a foot already and is always rolling onto her belly. I'm scared!!! I'm hoping she holds off until after Christmas so I don't have to gate off the tree.

Sleep - so last night I tried an experiment. Kelsey was fussy at bedtime so I tried having her sleep unswaddled for the 1st time. Normally she is swaddled and goes down at 9ish and wakes at 2ish for the 1st time. Last night she went down at 9 and woke at 12. I was able to nurse her back to sleep then despite her flailing arms. She woke again at 2:30, I tried nursing her back to sleep but she couldn't stop flailing long enough to fall asleep. I put her in the crib awake (why not?) and layed there listening to her not sleep, but not cry for a half hour. She finally started to fuss again and I'd had enough by this point so I swaddled her, nursed her to sleep and she slept until 9 am!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Will definitely be trying that again tonight.

[OneWithTwo]

Originally Posted by snoopy5386

Cheap Blackout Curtains - black plastic tablecloths from the party store and masking tape. We travel with these and tape up the windows wherever we stay. All of our family looks at us like we are nuts, but if we don't do it, the kids are up at the 1st hint of sunlight, so you know like 5 am in the summer. They are used to the dark at home so they need it when we are traveling too.

Crawling - Kelsey can already move sooooo much more that Morgan ever did at this age. Morgan was literally a lump until about 9 months old and didn't full on crawl until 10.5 months old. Kelsey can spin and move up to a foot already and is always rolling onto her belly. I'm scared!!! I'm hoping she holds off until after Christmas so I don't have to gate off the tree.

Sleep - so last night I tried an experiment. Kelsey was fussy at bedtime so I tried having her sleep unswaddled for the 1st time. Normally she is swaddled and goes down at 9ish and wakes at 2ish for the 1st time. Last night she went down at 9 and woke at 12. I was able to nurse her back to sleep then despite her flailing arms. She woke again at 2:30, I tried nursing her back to sleep but she couldn't stop flailing long enough to fall asleep. I put her in the crib awake (why not?) and layed there listening to her not sleep, but not cry for a half hour. She finally started to fuss again and I'd had enough by this point so I swaddled her, nursed her to sleep and she slept until 9 am!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Will definitely be trying that again tonight.

GREAT IDEA. never thought about that! At home, I use foil my bedroom is completely blacked out. Because of how big my bedroom windows are, they don't make blackout shades that big. I'd have to buy like 12 to cover my windows...so I put up foil and taped it. The downside -my room is always dark...but it makes for nice naps and mornings

[GreenTeaGinger61]

I've heard from Shananti and she's just busy I was looking through at all the mamas we haven't heard from in awhile. There are quite a few. I hope they're just busy but reading.

Darkness doesn't seem to be an issue for sleep. R just wants to be close to me which mostly I'm fine with

LNF: That would tick me off to no end. I hate it when writers ask for stories without fully disclosing what their intentions are. In academia (as you no doubt know) that's a big FAIL. Grr.

Crawling: R sits up very well but today she kept falling forward. I was like "What the ?" and then I realized she was actually doing it on purpose!!!! She looked like she was trying to get into a crawling position. NOOO!!!! She can't EVEN ROLL OVER YET. So like really "No umm crawling for at least two more months."
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pi...8&id=793430056

[laughingfox]

Originally Posted by GreenTeaGinger61

And I've got a new project idea concerning birth and religion. I have a ton of ideas that I'll be sorting through. And if any of you like this kind of academic thing someone has already done a study on homebirths and religion called Blessed Events.

As a side note, I'm in an online group of atheist/agnostic mothers and over 1/2 of the active members have either had or attempted homebirths or birth center births. I think it would also be interesting to do a project on homebirth and lack of religion, then we could compare notes.

Now my problem: H had a hard time with R while I teaching on Tuesday. R cried a lot. Some of it was my fault as I had not brought the other kids. They really do entertain her. But H is determined it's because she's hungry. Now he wants to give her some solids. I'm very torn. I had thought about trying to see if she'd take formula from the bottle but that's crap shoot. She'll be five months officially on the 15th. Would you try some simple solids first or formula? I'd rather do neither but I don't think H is going to get behind that plan.

I know formula is not popular around these parts, and I know it'll never be the same as breastmilk, but the nutritional profile of formula is waaaay closer to breastmilk than any other solids are. If she's hungry, she's hungry for breastmilk, and formula will give her more of those nutrients than solids will. For that reason, at this age, I would definitely try formula before solids.

sew_crafty

LNF- that stinks! I hope you can have your story removed.

I just heard back from the surrogacy place. On the questionairre, they asked about lawsuits. They emailed me and said they can't take anyone with an open lawsuit, but that they want to let me know as soon as it's done and over with. I guess that's good news (because they're apparently interested, and they contacted me so quickly) and bad (because I have t owait for this whole lawsuit thing to go away).