I'm a Wimp

[HaikuMommy]

I hated being pregnant, and now I'm overwhelmed taking care of a 2yo and a 1 month old. I know other women handle this (and much more) way better than I am! Why am I such a wimp?

I am tandem nursing but have had to cut 2yo back to only naptime and bedtime for my sanity. She scratches and paws at my breasts anytime I am within reach, whether breastfeeding or not, which drives me CRAZY. She has been nightweaned forever but is regressing and has a tantrum every night at 3 am. On top of 1 mo waking every 2 hours to feed. I need sleep! When both girls are crying at the same time, that is when I am most overwhelmed.

Hubby wants a son -- but I'm 40 and done! I told him I'm sorry he never got a son. I can't handle being pregnant again, nor taking care of any more babies. I'm a wimp!

[Dahlea]

I don't think its wimpy at all! I'm having a hard time with it too, though evrything day is a little easier. My son is very high needs and I was terrified my daughter would be too but so far, shes the easy one! I am tandem nursing too but have cut back to only every other time or less and then only for a few minutes. His latch is horrible and everything I tried to fix it made it worse so I just grit my teeth and bear it (hence the short times) he too begs for it all the time and I feel bad about it but we have to take care of oiurselves too! It will get better, that is what I tell myself to get through the day! I must really be crazy though because as hard as it is, we are already planning for a third lol
I'm having a mother's helper come a couple times a week just to play with my son. Maybe that's an option for you? I plan to use that time for me time-no cleaning or anything, just napping or sewing or reading a book uninterrupted! I'm also slowly trying to grt out of the house more. If I can let y toddler burn off some energy somewhere the day goes better for all of us.

[lunarlady]

If struggling to care for two means being a wimp, count me in! We are also tandem nursing, and it is hard. We do only three times a day, but my toddler pouts and complains every time I feed the baby. Sigh. I hear what you mean about other women doing this better and with more grace. My mom recently offered to help me stay at home longer, but I decided to go back to work as planned and hire one of those graceful women to nanny my kids. I love them to death, but I'm not good at juggling the two, and I know my older DD just gets bored because I don't plan enough activities and playmates for her. At least she is in half day preschool, so I do get 3 hours each morning to try to regain my sanity.

[nmelanson]

You are not a wimp - it is hard to go from 1-2 children!

[DreamsInDigital]

The main reason I got my tubes tied is because I felt simply that I had all I could handle (and then some) because I have been through having a young child and a newborn too many times. It is the hardest thing I've ever done, but I've done it 4 times and it just never really gets any easier until the baby is older and the older sibling is used to their new life. DS2 was 2 when DS3 was born, DS3 was 14 months when DD1 was born, DD1 was 2 when DS4 was born and DS4 was 18 months when DD2 was born.

[HaikuMommy]

Thanks for the words of support relating to my wimpiness! It really is hard, and I seriously do not want to do this again. I kind of wish I had gotten my tubes tied right after delivery like I was inclined to... but then again, I was scared of the procedure.

I adore my children and would do anything for them, but I truly find myswlf wondering if all the other parents in the world find this as difficult as it seems to me. The lack of sleep makes me feel desperate and unable to think clearly. And this is during a time when I'm realizing I need to be more of a creative thinker. For example, today we let our 2yo paint with watercolors in her high chair. I don't know why this never occurred to me before. I have always thought of her high chair as somewhere to eat, not somewhere to engage in messy activities. She has crayons and markers but I've always had to watch her while she uses them, or face blue carpet and "tattoos". The watercolors were great because they wash right off and it kept her happy and busy for at least an hour. We are now going to have "art time" every day, with crayons, markers, play-doh, or watercolor paints.

But seriously, mamas with 4, 5, 6 children... HOW do you do it?! I have new respect for my own mother (may she rest in peace). She had me when my brother was 4 and my sister was one and a half. What was she thinking?!

[*Jade*]

Dude, I'm finding it super-hard with just one, I can't imagine doing all of this with a toddler as well!! Kudos to all you mums of more than one!

[autumnfairy76]

Originally Posted by lunarlady

I hear what you mean about other women doing this better and with more grace.

Nah, they just hide their insanity better!!
No, seriously, I am also finding it stressfull to have two. My DH, on the other hand, keeps asking me why I have difficulty and keeps saying the other moms we know are doing fine.... I must keep reminding him that in our expat community, most of the moms we know have household help! Luckily he got the hint and we will be getting some subsidized household help when he goes back to work. I think all the help he has been giving me during his paternity leave is helping him understand what it is like to be a stay at home parent. I am sooo dreading the end of this month though, when he will be back at work and my mom will go back to the states.
I just say accept and get all the help you can from friends, family, or, if you can, hired help, even if it's just for a couple weeks or a month. Post partum is a sensitive time, newborns are a lot of work and time consuming and toddlers are a challenge. Go easy on yourself!

[trimestersdoula]

Don't feel like a wimp. If you're a wimp, add me to the wimp club LOL. I have a 22 month old and now this new baby. He is almost a month old and I still have trouble handling the two of them. It has been getting easier day by day. Today was actually really good.....except I better go b/c little man is screaming his head off.....again.