This is a long horrible pitiful story, but I really was hoping for some unbiased advice.
Basically, my dh hates baby names. I know, bizarre, but he does. When our 6 yr old was born, my dh stood his ground that he hated all names, until a social worker came to the hospital room and wanted to know why we were refusing to name our baby. I was not the one refusing, it was my husband. I called my husband, very angry at him, and finally, he gave in and said I could name the baby, but that he hates baby names so he hates that we are being forced to name the baby...so WTF on that!
While pregnant with this baby, dh was pulling the same stuff. When the baby was born, in a horribly messed up delivery, dh said I could name the baby and left to go home with the other children. I named him a name that was not on my list because he had declared over the top hate for the names on my list. He came back the next day and when I told him, he immediately and adamently objected. So, I went back to my original name that I had liked for years, which was Liam. My name is Lisa so the names are very similar.
Two days later (yes, still in the hospital), dh came and said he hates the name Liam because it reminds him of Leo, which is an old boss he hates. Oh, btw, the first name was Rowan. DH is Irish so I was picking Irish names. I was devastated and did not know what to do. But I felt so sick and was in a lot of pain. Later, I became very very sick and almost died. I still had not left the hospital. The baby was sent back to the nursery and given bottles. I could not hold him and had to be sent to have procedures on. I found out later that what was wrong with me only had a 10% survival rate, and was a result of the unneccesary csect I had because my doctor freaked over my doing a vbac. At least the doctor apologized and admitted that I should have had a vbac. Regardless, I am never going back to her again. I forgive her, but I have moved on from her.
Under the influence of the extensive drugs I was then on, due to the complications, I actually told my dh "you go ahead and name the baby, I love you." Duh! I was on drugs! A lot of them. I did not get to hold my baby again for another day and a week after that, was released from the hospital. At this point, his name was Ryan.
I cannot stand the name Ryan. My oldest child's name is Riley and people would always call him Ryan when he was little. They still do now. Even this past year, doctors and the school would call him Ryan. We even have had surgery nightmares where Riley had surgery in December and they accidentally filed it on the insurance under Ryan's name so it was never paid for.
Plus, having the baby's name as Ryan is like further nailing the nails in to the coffin that my birth was so traumatic. I cannot even think about his birth without feeling emotional pain. His birthday this past week felt more like an anniversary of trauma than like his first birthday. We did celebrate and all, so not like it affected him.
During the first year of life, my family all called him Liam or Rowan. My sister and nieces had come to the hospital before dh came back the next day and I had told them Rowan already. My nieces, who were 9 and 12, took pictures and showed to all their friends and told all his name was Rowan. When dh objected and I picked Liam, he sent out emails to everyone saying his name is Liam. Later, when dh changed it to Ryan, he only told his mother and his coworkers. We rarely see dh's side of the family. We talk to my family daily and see them most days (they all live in town). My nieces made cards and even homemade decorations with the name Rowan on it. The baby has mostly gone by Liam, or Liam Ryan, or Liam Rowan.
I can deal with his name being Ryan. Even though he has rarely gone by that, it is on his certificate. I know how to change a name, it is not hard (I called and asked and even know what it would cost).
I have considered just taking the leap and changing his name. If I did, I would retain the name Ryan. So it would become Liam Ryan.
But as a better idea, my sister has suggested that we all just call him Rowan as a nickname for Ryan. I know that is not an official nickname, but it is very similar and if people ask why, I can just explain that Riley and Ryan were too confusing so we just changed the first syllable, the one that is the same, in calling him that. If it really catches on, then I will likely eventually legally change his name.
What do you think? Please don't tell me I am nuts, I already know. I just would really like some kind productive advice from the many loving, like-minded moms here. Thank you!
Basically, my dh hates baby names. I know, bizarre, but he does. When our 6 yr old was born, my dh stood his ground that he hated all names, until a social worker came to the hospital room and wanted to know why we were refusing to name our baby. I was not the one refusing, it was my husband. I called my husband, very angry at him, and finally, he gave in and said I could name the baby, but that he hates baby names so he hates that we are being forced to name the baby...so WTF on that!
While pregnant with this baby, dh was pulling the same stuff. When the baby was born, in a horribly messed up delivery, dh said I could name the baby and left to go home with the other children. I named him a name that was not on my list because he had declared over the top hate for the names on my list. He came back the next day and when I told him, he immediately and adamently objected. So, I went back to my original name that I had liked for years, which was Liam. My name is Lisa so the names are very similar.
Two days later (yes, still in the hospital), dh came and said he hates the name Liam because it reminds him of Leo, which is an old boss he hates. Oh, btw, the first name was Rowan. DH is Irish so I was picking Irish names. I was devastated and did not know what to do. But I felt so sick and was in a lot of pain. Later, I became very very sick and almost died. I still had not left the hospital. The baby was sent back to the nursery and given bottles. I could not hold him and had to be sent to have procedures on. I found out later that what was wrong with me only had a 10% survival rate, and was a result of the unneccesary csect I had because my doctor freaked over my doing a vbac. At least the doctor apologized and admitted that I should have had a vbac. Regardless, I am never going back to her again. I forgive her, but I have moved on from her.
Under the influence of the extensive drugs I was then on, due to the complications, I actually told my dh "you go ahead and name the baby, I love you." Duh! I was on drugs! A lot of them. I did not get to hold my baby again for another day and a week after that, was released from the hospital. At this point, his name was Ryan.
I cannot stand the name Ryan. My oldest child's name is Riley and people would always call him Ryan when he was little. They still do now. Even this past year, doctors and the school would call him Ryan. We even have had surgery nightmares where Riley had surgery in December and they accidentally filed it on the insurance under Ryan's name so it was never paid for.
Plus, having the baby's name as Ryan is like further nailing the nails in to the coffin that my birth was so traumatic. I cannot even think about his birth without feeling emotional pain. His birthday this past week felt more like an anniversary of trauma than like his first birthday. We did celebrate and all, so not like it affected him.
During the first year of life, my family all called him Liam or Rowan. My sister and nieces had come to the hospital before dh came back the next day and I had told them Rowan already. My nieces, who were 9 and 12, took pictures and showed to all their friends and told all his name was Rowan. When dh objected and I picked Liam, he sent out emails to everyone saying his name is Liam. Later, when dh changed it to Ryan, he only told his mother and his coworkers. We rarely see dh's side of the family. We talk to my family daily and see them most days (they all live in town). My nieces made cards and even homemade decorations with the name Rowan on it. The baby has mostly gone by Liam, or Liam Ryan, or Liam Rowan.
I can deal with his name being Ryan. Even though he has rarely gone by that, it is on his certificate. I know how to change a name, it is not hard (I called and asked and even know what it would cost).
I have considered just taking the leap and changing his name. If I did, I would retain the name Ryan. So it would become Liam Ryan.
But as a better idea, my sister has suggested that we all just call him Rowan as a nickname for Ryan. I know that is not an official nickname, but it is very similar and if people ask why, I can just explain that Riley and Ryan were too confusing so we just changed the first syllable, the one that is the same, in calling him that. If it really catches on, then I will likely eventually legally change his name.
What do you think? Please don't tell me I am nuts, I already know. I just would really like some kind productive advice from the many loving, like-minded moms here. Thank you!
I agree, that may be related. I hope you get help!
