I do not understand the difference between a natural consequence and a punishment. Please help!
What in the world do you do when your three-year-old kicks his father in the face? My husband removed DS from the situation by saying, "Get out of the tent." Then my husband came inside, vented to me, then went back outside.
DS: "I'm sorry I kicked you."
DH: "We don't kick people. That's not the way we treat people."
DS: "Yes, it is."
DH: "If you want to kick something, you can kick your ball."
DS: "You're a ball."
etc.
What is a natural consequence of this kind of behavior? I understand if you do it in the store, the natural consequence is that I don't take you to the store next time. But just in general horrible behavior, how do you demonstrate how horrible it is without punishing?
He turns three next week. He is dealing with the huge change of having a new baby sister (DS used to be an only child, DD is now five weeks old). He also has lost all sense of routine, as my husband is now off on parental leave and every day is like a Saturday. He's taking it all out on his father and the dog.
These are all the reasons for him behaving like an absolute a-hole lately (hitting and punching DH, repeatedly kicking the dog, screaming and yelling at birds and small animals in the yard, just in general being horrible to be around). But what I don't understand is what to do about it. My books, such as "How to Talk so Your Kids Will Listen and Listen So Your Kids Will Talk" are all geared toward older children.
What in the world do you do when your three-year-old kicks his father in the face? My husband removed DS from the situation by saying, "Get out of the tent." Then my husband came inside, vented to me, then went back outside.
DS: "I'm sorry I kicked you."
DH: "We don't kick people. That's not the way we treat people."
DS: "Yes, it is."
DH: "If you want to kick something, you can kick your ball."
DS: "You're a ball."
etc.
What is a natural consequence of this kind of behavior? I understand if you do it in the store, the natural consequence is that I don't take you to the store next time. But just in general horrible behavior, how do you demonstrate how horrible it is without punishing?
He turns three next week. He is dealing with the huge change of having a new baby sister (DS used to be an only child, DD is now five weeks old). He also has lost all sense of routine, as my husband is now off on parental leave and every day is like a Saturday. He's taking it all out on his father and the dog.
These are all the reasons for him behaving like an absolute a-hole lately (hitting and punching DH, repeatedly kicking the dog, screaming and yelling at birds and small animals in the yard, just in general being horrible to be around). But what I don't understand is what to do about it. My books, such as "How to Talk so Your Kids Will Listen and Listen So Your Kids Will Talk" are all geared toward older children.
) but I remember reading Your Three Old: Your Enemy, Your Friend when my oldest was 3. It's probably not all the baby -- he's going through some big developmental changes, too, and your compassion coupled with firmness will go a long way.
). Following this book's advice, like meemee's above, works really well.
: If he apologized on his own, that's BIG for a 3-yo, and really awesome. It should have been accepted and dropped "Thank you for apologizing. That really hurt when you kicked me." Then LATER, talk about how he cannot keep acting this way, and give him acceptable alternatives for when he's frustrated, sad, mad, whatever.
: I watch lots of Supernanny and other trash tv
And this thread is a good reminder to me to knock it off.
