or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Should I leave my nursing 13.5 mo for a Hawaiian vacation?
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Should I leave my nursing 13.5 mo for a Hawaiian vacation? - Page 2

post #21 of 47
I don't see where the OP has made mention that taking any of the children is an option. You might be talking more airline seats which will not be paid for. You also have a looooong flight to think of.

I couldn't leave the little one. I know so many people who left their babies with realitives at 6 months and up and I just couldn't do it. I'd be worried about how they were doing. And that's not including the breastfeeding issues.

I truly, truly sympathize with your dh, but now just doesn't seem like a great tine for you to go. There will be others!
post #22 of 47
I say go and have a good time. I had to leave my ds2 for the first time at 9 months old to attend a funeral 10 hours away. I'd never left him for long periods before (maybe long enough to catch a movie, max) and he did fine. He did great! He had an absolute blast with my grandmother and went back to nursing without issue. We left him again when he was 16 months old, this time for 4 nights (dh had the big V and we were worried about the boys jumping on him and busting stitches) and, again, he had a blast. They stayed so busy going and doing that I don't know if he even noticed I was gone. However, he'd already weaned due to my current pregnancy, so I didn't have that to worry about.
post #23 of 47
Go. Have a blast. I would in a heartbeat.
post #24 of 47
LOL.. I think I'd BEG my inlaws to go too. (and get their own room) so you guys could trade half days with each other for snorkeling and swimming. Maybe a night or two, the kids could sleep over in grandma's room.

Yes, you two need some alone time. Yes, you deserve it. Yes, he deserves it. But, would you feel right leaving both kids?

If you do decide to leave both kids, (and I support that if you do) I would try ds2 on a sippy cup instead of a bottle. He might take to that better, and that with table food should keep him well fed while you are gone.

Either way, I hope you go, and I hope you all have a wonderful time.
post #25 of 47
I would do it. When my dd was 13 months old, I went on a business trip without her. She never did learn to take the bottle. I did pump, and I was used to pumping, but during my trip, I pumped and dumped because transporting breastmilk at that that time was such a hassle. mI left her with my husband, but if my in-laws were willing and I trusted them, then I would do it in a heartbeat. Couple time is very important, and so rare. I returned home to my dd, who went back to nursing just as strong as ever. She weaned herself at the age of 3 years old. If you choose to go without your child, I'm sure it will probably be just fine.
post #26 of 47
Personally, I'd extend the trip to be a week and take both kids.

We took our kids there at 1 and 4. I went there as a kid at those ages.

I wouldn't go to Hawaii for 2 days. That doesn't sound fun at all. You wouldn't get to do/see anything.
post #27 of 47
Do it! 2 nights is perfect, that's not too long. If your in-laws are willing to do it, trust that everyone will be fine and go! They're in loving hands, they will have tons of fun. Your nursling will nurse just fine when you get back, just pump and dump with a hand pump while you're gone to relieve the pressure.
post #28 of 47
Oh, it's only 2 days? I must have mis read. I wouldn't even bother to that far away for 2 days. You won't even get over the long flight and you'll be on your way back again.
post #29 of 47
Quote:
Originally Posted by JL83 View Post
Personally, I'd extend the trip to be a week and take both kids.

We took our kids there at 1 and 4. I went there as a kid at those ages.

I wouldn't go to Hawaii for 2 days. That doesn't sound fun at all. You wouldn't get to do/see anything.
The trip is a business trip and is free for her DH - I'm guessing all other tickets and accommodations are going to cost them out of pocket. I understand the family togetherness idea, but really? Turn a basically free couple's weekend into a fully-funded family vacation? You wouldn't get to do/see anything with two babies along either.
post #30 of 47
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamazee View Post
Oh, it's only 2 days? I must have mis read. I wouldn't even bother to that far away for 2 days. You won't even get over the long flight and you'll be on your way back again.
I misread that too! LOL. Two days is a disappointment! I was all excited for her.

But, yes, for two days, I'd go without the kids. I wouldn't even feel bad about it.
post #31 of 47
Okay, I missed the trip possibly being only being 2 days (I thought she was talking a week). That might change my answer, depending on the baby and how comfy I felt with the IL's caring for him. Bringing them (the IL's) along for 2 days as well as the baby and 4 yo... I can't really imagine. Flights to Hawaii are expensive!!! I know, b/c we have been pricing them to go for our anniversary. If the tickets are paid for by her DH's work, then I can see going and buying food and whatever else comes up for a couple days. But bringing 4 additional people for a 2-day trip would be a huge waste of money. I probably wouldn't want to go to Hawaii for anything less than a week, TBH, b/c even that isn't long enough. I guess I would consider it since it's pretty much free - but there isn't much you will see or do in that amount of time. At least it would mean only leaving the kids for a couple days, though.

Good luck figuring it out! I went on a business trip with DH to Chicago for a weekend once when we had two kids (our youngest was older than yours, and not nursing or co-sleeping) and I have to say while I don't really regret going, b/c it was a nice experience for DH and I, I worried and missed my kids like crazy! I was in tears the first night when we were sitting in a bar trying to enjoy a night out w/o little ones. I was also pregnant with #3 - so that may have been part of it. My kids were fine; I wasn't really, though.
post #32 of 47
I have no idea how long the flight is from the East Coast.

But, a straight flight from Phoenix to Hawaii is about 6 hours in the air. It's not so bad on the way there because your day is suddenly about four hours longer.

Going back isn't so fun. We left at four P.M on a Saturday, and got home at about 5:00 a.m on a Sunday. We just kept flying into the light. It was weird. It was dark, then light in just a few hours. I can't imagine flying any farther east.
post #33 of 47
Quote:
Originally Posted by ladylove View Post
DH and I have not had any real couple time since DS1 was born, so the trip would really be like a second honeymoon.
I've been on business trips with my DH, and they were NOT like a second honeymoon. He's going on a business trip, which means he will have to go a do things and you will be by yourself.

Sitting by yourself next to a pool with jet lag wondering if you baby is doing OK isn't going to be fun.

Quote:
I would be an anxious worried mess. Would he take a bottle? Would he nurse again when I returned? I do NOT want to wean. I know he would be in loving hands, but it would no doubt be emotionally hard on him and the ILs.
This doesn't sound like a fun trip to me at all, and it could end your nursing relationship.

Hawaii will still be there in a few years.

If you guys need some couple time, then get some couple time. You don't need to leave the continent to do that.
post #34 of 47
Thread Starter 
OP here.

Thank you all so much.

Let me clarify -DH will have business in Honolulu for one day, so we would get 2 free hotel nights there. We would extend the trip on our own dime for another 5-6 days.

We are leaning towards me not going at all after reading up about what activities we would want to do (not so toddler friendly). It might just be better to save our money for a real trip in a few years when the children are older.

DH feels not really upset, but just disappointed because his coworkers who have taken this trip before leave their toddlers/babies without any hesitation. But, these are kids that are FF, sleep in cribs, and have daycare/nannies and WOHMs. We made these AP choices and feel that it is definitely the right and best choice for us (most of the time), but it feels almost unfair now because for all practical purposes the coworker's kids turn our just fine, too. KWIM?

This has brought up a good revelation that DH and I should try to have more us time. We have done everything as a family for the last 4 years and have loved it, but this Hawaii trip will likely never come up again.
post #35 of 47
Quote:
Originally Posted by ladylove View Post

This has brought up a good revelation that DH and I should try to have more us time. We have done everything as a family for the last 4 years and have loved it, but this Hawaii trip will likely never come up again.
OK.. Maybe not Hawaii... but, what about waiting and saving for one year, and going next February (when it's cold and miserable there) to some place closer to where you live? You could start planning now, and have something to look forward to. I'd even consider leaving the kids for a week with Grandma so you guys can have a wonderful romantic vacation together. That's over a year away, so both boys will love spending time with grandma and have a little vacation of their own.
post #36 of 47
Oh, so it was going to be a week long trip. If that's the case, I would still consider going and bringing the baby. The hotels often having babysitting services - or private nannies that will come to your room. Then you and your DH could still do some of the non-toddler friendly activities. Maybe not as many as he is hoping for. Then if your LO was unhappy - you'd be 15 minutes away. To me, that would be better than missing it all together. The alternative is your DH going by himself and you being home with two kids alone.

I guess it depends on what people look forward to with a trip to somewhere like Hawaii. When we went and DD was 11 months old, we didn't have any desire to snorkel or even fly to other islands (though, we could have taken her). We like sight-seeing, eating tons of yummy food, exotic drinks, laying on the beach, shopping, going to Luau's, enjoying the Polynesian culture, dinner on a ship watching whales, tourist-y things like Diamond head, Pearl Harbor, china town and downtown Honolulu. We found plenty to do with a LO along with us. When we go back alone - we still likely won't be scuba diving - but I guess that's just us and what we invision our trip to be like.

But you never know - you can plan for a Hawaii trip on your own terms in the years to come. It's what we are doing - and as our kids have gotten older, we feel more comfy leaving them for a week with grandma (DD who went to Hawaii with us as a baby will be 11 when we go back).
post #37 of 47
I know a mom who left her full-time nursing 8-month old for a weekend off. Everyone was fine and she's glad she did. *I*, OTOH, would not have been able to, and I would have been too worried to have fun. This is going to depend a lot on what YOU can handle.

ETA: Oh, for a week...I'd take the baby.
post #38 of 47
Personally? You take both or neither.
post #39 of 47
one of my friends has her mil stay with the kids for one night and one day and they go to the local b&b and spend the day and night together. we have v. pretty b&b in a v. pretty area in our very own city.

otherwise yeah i would take time off when baby is happiest. like saturday mornings.
post #40 of 47
Is there any way your little one could have a visit or two with the ILs before you'd go? I left for 5 days when my DS was a 15mo nursling and it went really well. He was only nursing once at night then, and we didn't co-sleep, but maybe your ILs would be willing to snuggle in bed with your little one for a few nights anyway?

I guess with having 2 kids and it really being an amazing opportunity for a really nice, cheap romantic holiday I'd say go for it. You can record little daily messages on the webcam, write little postcards to the kids, read them a book on the webcam, give them a little "mama loves you" present before you go, etc. It might be a little tough for your baby, but they will have their older sibling there and they will be at home.

My DS didn't do bottles but I pumped and dumped. My supply did take a hit, but I wasn't religious about pumping. AND my supply came back up when he nursed more again when I was home (and I used it as a great opportunity to nightwean - he was used to not nursing at night when I got back so I just kept at that and he didn't get particularly upset).

IF you really wouldn't be able to let go and have fun without your baby then I'd say take the baby and let your older child have a fun week with the grandparents. They'll have a GREAT time and so will you. It is SOOOOOOO much easier to have just one kid it will still seem like a vacation. And hey, it gives the little one some "only child" time that has never happened before too.

So I say GO, HAVE FUN. Do it with OR without baby - it'll be an awesome trip.

Tjej
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Parenting
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Should I leave my nursing 13.5 mo for a Hawaiian vacation?