too much stuff from baby shower...way too much

[taffywelsh]

Hello!

I had my baby shower over the weekend...in fact I had two, a "friends" shower and a "family" shower. Everybody was VERY NICE and I am filled with gratitude for their kindness.

BUT

I got way, way too much stuff (almost entirely from the "family" event)...onesies, receiving blankets, and swaddling mechanisms in particular, in quantities I will never be able to use.

What is the etiquette on getting rid of some of this stuff? I have a really small apartment and just can't bear to keep all of it. Should I try to hang on to a few things that I don't want if I think somebody might notice the absence of said items (obviously I will have to do that with toys, but would anybody really notice with clothing)? Anything that is hand-made or whatever is obviously a treasure, but how many "Carter's" jobs can one really deal with?

Also, should I try to sell things to the used-items store, or should I find a good donation cause? I would much rather sell things (I am broke), but it seems so crass. But still, nobody who gave us stuff we would be selling lives in this area, so it's not like they'd see it at the shop.

I really hate to seem like a rude ingrate, but I simply cannot deal with owning 50 infant onesises, 30 receiving blankets, and 10 velcro-based swaddling thingummies.
Let me know what you did/would do in this type of situation

Thanks!
TW

[rhiandmoi]

Get rid of nothing until your baby is at least 2 months old. Seriously, you can't really estimate how much of something you will need until you have the baby in arms. Wash as much as you think you will need, and leave the tags on everything else. If you actually don't use something, sell it new with tags on craigslist or ebay.

[Lucy&Jude'sMama]

Take back what you don't want/need and get a gift card. Did the items come with tags and gift receipts? That's your best bet for getting your money back, but if they took off the tags and there are no gift receipts then I would re-sell them on craigslist or ebay since you said you need the money.

I got a ton of stuff when I had my daughter. Mostly clothes which was nice, but way over the top when what I really needed was the big ticket items... crib, mattress, car seat... I remember being a bit frustrated when all I had were stacks and stacks of clothes or cutesy stuff and nothing that I truly needed help buying. I also didn't have a lot of money at the time.

So anyways I wouldn't feel guilty at all. Personally I always send a gift receipt because some times my taste might not be someone else's or they might get two of the same thing. It would never offend me if someone exchanged or got money for a gift I sent... Unless of course it was hand made. Then I'd be offended, but other than that it wouldn't bother me. But maybe that's just me.

[MaerynPearl]

anything with tag/gift receipt would be automatic return for me! would make it easier to decide what to get rid of lol.

past that though, dont blame you for selling it on craigslist. After all, theres no way anyone will buy it on there for store price (they would rather just go to the store!) and at a lower price you may be helping some other mom with financial problems out!

[ASusan]

Another vote for returns. I returned what I could upfront. I did keep a few things (w/ tags) and did another round of returns after babe had outgrown that size. I was very conservative with what I washed "new."

As pp have said, with a lot of returns, you can 'save' up for a larger item. In my case, that included pumping supplies and nursing bras at Target. (I seemed to change sizes every 6 weeks or so, just about as often as the babe changed sizes!)

[lillymonster]

I would say wait - I got a huge amount of onsies and clothes, none of which fit DD because she got so big so fast . So I would wait, not wash them, keep the tag on them and then return them in a few months for a gift card for stuff you need when the baby gets older. Sometimes your baby might skip sizes. I got a huge amount of like 3-6 month clothes and I swear DD just skipped over them entirely and went straight from newborn to 9 months, she was HUGE, but only 8 pounds when born. So your baby may or may not gain as fast, and you might need a lot of one size. But keep the clothes with the tags clean and easy to return.

The swaddling blankets I did return, I opened one, it never worked right, and returned the rest and just used regular blankets.

Most of my blankets I couldn't return because most were handmade, but I did get a huge amount of those!

[happysmileylady]

Most people buy for showers expecting that the mom will get some duplicates and will end up returning some stuff. Really. Even if they don't give you a gift receipt, I have never met anyone who got upset about a new mom having returned something.

And yes, everything with tags that you don't want, return. That will give you full store credit to get stuff you really need, whether it's something big or something small.

I do agree with the other poster who said to wait until the baby is a little older. Even if you already have kids, it's hard to know just how much each individual baby will need/use. You may discover that this little one pukes every 5 minutes and you are constantly changing clothes, so maybe you really do need 50 onsies, plus more. Or, you could discover that your little one HATES a swaddle and you don't need ANY of those swaddling thingies. It would kinda suck to get rid of half that stash of onsies and then discover that it wasn't enough and have to buy more later.

[taffywelsh]

This advice is very good...
NOBODY gave me a gift receipt...there are tags on many of the items, but no way to tell where they came from...argh!
Aaaanyway

[HeatherB]

Oftentimes you can figure out what stores carry different brands and take them there. For instance, we have a Carter's store here and I would think taking all true Carter's stuff there would be ideal. Carter's also makes brands for specific stores, which is pretty clear. Even without receipts, you should get store credit at most any store, which you can use to either buy things you NEED (be it baby stuff or not) or to save for when you DO need something later on.

[anne1140]

If it were me, personally, I would donate them to an organization for needy expectant parents or a battered women's/children's shelter. But I wouldn't think twice about you selling stuff, either, just that I wouldn't bother, personally.

It does suck when people don't include receipts.

[mamakaikai]

Re-gift! Chances are you will know someone having a baby at some point. If the tags are still on, then your shopping is done!

[Climbergirl]

Return, return, return. You can always use your gift card (that you get back for returning) when you know what you need. Sometimes, they don't like to take stuff back that was purchased a long time ago, so I would return it now. Also, there is no point in storing it. Really. Besides, by the time your child is in whatever size, it may be the wrong season or not fit as well. I prefer to be able to go out and get the stuff that I need and know works for me.

I am sure some of the moms here could help you figure out where things came from. I would put things with similar tags together and then post the info. I have gotten to the point that I can easily figure out where something came from.

The most highly suspected places are:

Babies R US
Target (they are really weird about returns)
Walmart
Kmart
Sears
JcPenny
Carter's
Gymboree
Children's Place
Burlington Coat Factory

[Nicole730]

I would also recommend trying to figure out where it's from and getting store credit. Soon enough, you will probably know all the store brands and what goes where If you don't know a certain brand, ask on here- someone probably knows!

I hate it when people don't give gift receipts!

[zinemama]

1. Write gracious thank you notes for everything.
2. Return or donate what you don't need.

[bella99]

I had this same problem after my shower for my daughter. Luckily, my in-laws offered to fill in the blanks when I had tons of clothes, but little of the actual things I needed.

It's why I only get things off a registry now, because I remember the anxiety I felt after looking at a pile of clothes and a full list of things still needed.

But I would save what you know you will need, keep some for later just in case (you can always sell it on ebay/craiglist) and return what's left for gift cards.

[momasana]

I'd save everything for a little while because you never know if you'll need it.

It is nice to be able to regift the things that you do not use. Also donating new things to people who really need them is a very nice gesture.

[myk]

double what you think you need... keep that for now. wash only what you think you need, the rest is just in case. if you have 50 onesies, keep a dozen, use six (or whatever).. return the rest if you have gift receipts, sell, whatever. things like onesies people probably wouldn't notice if you pruned the collection. outfits might be different, i know that certain outfits were "special" just because of my relationship with the person who gave it, or because it's extra cute.. you want to hang on to those.

only get rid of one size at a time. newborn size they outgrow quite quickly, but the rest can vary. my nephew is turning 2 in october, he's still in 12m pants. my daughter on the other hand, when she was 6m old she was in 18m clothes. you just can't predict!

[finnegansmom]

I would make 3 piles.
Definately Keep.
Keep for a while
And Definately return/sell.
I would plan on using the money for something you need for the baby, so if anyone asks you can say well we had to return some of the outfits because we needed a convertible carseat. I returned some of the outfits after my son was born because I know they weren't going to be the right season or whatever (like someone gave us a heavy snowsuit but in a size he would fit into in June), but only after I saw how big he was and how fast he was growing (very fast, he was a chunk).

I also wouldn't return anything until you send out your thankyou notes....that should probably be the first priority (but that's just me).

[Comtessa]

I second the suggestion not to get rid of anything for two months. Since you don't have any dated store receipts, you're not under the gun for "return within 30 days." Of course, without receipts, you might have trouble returning stuff. A lot of stores have changed their returns policies in the last couple of years so that it's almost impossible to return something once you've bought it. Target and BrU are both really awful about taking returns on baby stuff.

So once you know you won't need the stuff, sure you can sell it. I only sold a couple of things we got for gifts, mostly because I was so upset about selling something new for half the price that our friend or family member paid to get it for us. It made me sad.
So, we still have a laundry basket full of brand-new things that we got for my baby shower. Every time we got something that I knew we couldn't use, it went right into the laundry basket. For the past year, every time somebody has a baby I go digging in the laundry basket for baby gifts. It's nice stuff, we just got too much of it. (Of course, the poor person I'm giving it to is probably also getting too much of it... but I try not to think too hard about that.)

I'm considering (now that DD is 16 months old and we've regifted the best of the stuff already) donating the rest of it to a local crisis pregnancy center. They provided my prenatal care completely free of charge when I found myself unexpectedly pregnant with no health insurance -- so I like the idea of helping other women who come there for services who might need baby stuff.

[dakotablue]

If you have a carters near you you could exchange some of the small sizes for larger ones of the same print, I've done that TONS of time (DS was way bigger than people would buy) so then you can still use the clothes later.

You could look online and see if the stores carry it then look at their return policies, some have gotten tough.

lastly I'd sell on craigslist or donate to some place you feel comfortable (like my church is redoing the nursery and I donated some of DS stuff to update some toys and get rid of outdated (scary) stuff)

Don't feel bad at all about regifting or selling. more than likely they will never see what they bought on your baby anyway (just laundry and remembering who did what and size of baby when they see them)