WARNING...long rant & looking for help with 10 y.o. DD!
I'm needing some help & wondering if anyone here has any suggestions...
Dd is hijacking the whole household many evenings at bedtime. Going on about being terrified at bedtime, fighting every step of the way to sleep...upsetting everyone, especially Ds, who sleeps with her because she's too scared to be alone, yet her freaking out often has us remove him to sleep elsewhere because he is so upset (usually crying). We always stay in the room with her with lights on until she falls asleep and it just seems to get later & later, leaving us fighting with her & threatening to leave her just to get some space to breath.
Right now we are in a hotel room (in Phoenix) and turning the light off over her bed (which was in everyone else's eyes & there are other lights on in the room) led to a complete melt-down including jaw shaking...and all she will say is that she's scared. Doesn't know of what & doesn't matter that we are all in the room with her.
She knows logically that this is a story she is telling herself & that she could change it if she wanted to, but she doesn't seem to want to. I gave her a mantra a while back, which helped at the time - I fall asleep quickly & easily - and told her to repeat it to herself now, so she can't think of anything else. I think she might finally be doing it as the moaning & whimpering has let up a bit...ok, now every two minutes she is saying she can't fall asleep.
Oh, I don't think I mentioned that Dh gets even more frustrated than I do & ends up saying hurtful things to her, which don't help at all.
I am just at my wits' end because I feel like I have made every effort to take her bedtime concerns seriously and acted to eliminate all potential triggers. It used to be that if we let them start the night in our bed (they always end up there) she would go peacefully, but she has recently started doing it there as well.
Anyway, she obviously has something more serious going on than I know how to deal with & wonder if anyone has any suggestions for where to go next. I hear homeopathy can help with some things like this or is this more a therapy thing? I know the DTCM we saw for several years doing NAET was no help at all in this area. BTW, this has been happening off & on since she was very small (didn't sleep well even as an infant) and she has other anxiety issues like sucking her lip (a LOT), chewing the skin on her fingers, being scared to be alone on a floor of the house if others are on a different floor, etc.