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Vancouver(ish) Tribe: Colourful leaves and tangible mists begin to Fall - Page 9

post #161 of 208
Thread Starter 

Wow, Helen that is awful!  She's 10, so I would imagine that at her age you are all (including her) feeling at least partly like this shouldn't be happening anymore.  It sounds like a combination of general insomnia (Emily has always been a poor sleeper, and now that she's in her teens, it's quite clearly insomnia) and anxiety.  And I don't think this is a medical problem so much as a psychological one.  I would definitely put this query on the main discussion boards, because someone there may have some really good suggestion.  I'm thinking counselling might be in order here?  From a Positive Discipline/Adlerian perspective, there may be some element of wanting attention involved in this.  As they grow older, though they don't physically need us as much, they need us "there" so much more, and it's so easy to forget that in the general shuffle of getting through every day.  (I still do.)  She may also want a bit more autonomy around bedtime...

 

From the perspective of a mom of a kid with insomnia, we've found melatonin helpful *sometimes*.  The dose on the label is usually stated as 3 mg or so, but the physiological dose is actually more like 0.1 to 0.3 mg.  We use the liquid that they use a Children's Hospital (made by Atlantis) which is 3 mg per 1 mL, so we can adjust the dose somewhat, to 1-5 drops (about 0.15-0.3 mg per drop).  We also make sure that she gets off the screen (computer or TV) within an hour of bedtime.  (OK, we try... she *is* 16...)  I was also reading on Mercola.com that vitamin B12 may be important for sleep as well, so I was going to try that as well.  (It may be better absorbed if taken sublingually rather than swallowed).  Emily herself has found that she actually seems to sleep better if she takes a cup of rice/almond milk latte-style Japanese Matcha tea.  It's counter-intuitive, but she's just found that it works for her.  For a few weeks, at least.

 

What about something like Rescue Remedy?

post #162 of 208

Hi everyone!

 

I've been reading this thread a bit over the past month or so and thought I'd introduce myself...and I have a question.

 

I live in Vancouver and am 1 of 2 moms with an (almost) 13 month old daughter. I'm on mat. leave until July and my partner will likely take time off work from July - Dec when I go back. My question is about child care. I'm totally, completely freaked out about putting DD into childcare. We are hoping to avoid it until she's 2 at the very least. I'm also hoping to get pregnant again this year and plan it so I can be off on maternity leave again before DP has to go back to work. However, we want to have a back up plan for child care just in case. I'm not entirely opposed to a group day care situation - are waiting times really as long as I hear?

post #163 of 208

Hi Carmen ... We met on the Q&P boards.  Can't help much on wait times (although I hear that they are ridiculously long) but if you're in East Van I can hook you up with a Yahoo Group that often has childcare ads and swaps and nanny shares and is full of people who are in the know about childcare in Vancouver in general.  Look up Parents On The Drive on Yahoo Groups.  Great resource if you're in the hood.

post #164 of 208

sea island, that's really rough. i would be trying remedies, you can do that yourself, it can't hurt and it may help - she may really just NEED something to hold on to - sometimes my 10 year old gets weird and nervous around bedtime too, homeopathic chamomilia may not actually help but she thinks it does! you can got to abc homeopathy online finder, it is great. maybe have a naturopath take a look at diet, or try a few adjustments with a chiropractor. i realised very late in life - my twenties!! that i cannot handle much of any kind of scary film or book, i wish i'd just accepted that a long, long time ago. my 10 is really sensitive that way too, we try to keep things simple. harry potter may be great, but we just don't watch the films, temperaments would NOT handle it. clingy and nervous for days! no thanks! i wonder also if there's anything she can tell you, not at bedtime, about her anxiety. you've probably done this. maybe she knows what would help? i've banned my 10 year old from our bed, it's too small and no one sleeps, she's now accepted that, but she does have a light on all night. i put lavender on her wrists, and she has music playing at bedtime and can turn it on if she needs to. good luck! you deserve more gentle evening time. will she read for a while without you?  x

post #165 of 208

hug.gifSea Island!  Tough times for sure!  

 

I second all of artparent's suggestions.  Perhaps listening to an audiobook or some instrumental music with her eyes closed so she can "see" the story in her head would help?

post #166 of 208
Thread Starter 

Carmen - you may want to try in-home care rather than group daycare.  When DD was little, I used a "nanny finding" service called Wee Watch (I think).  They did criminal record checks, in-home visits, and also supplied a "substitute" provider if ours was sick, as well as whatever items our caregiver might need (like double strollers, etc.).  Mind you, I was very young and felt that while all these things were important, I didn't know how to do them myself, so I basically paid this company for their expertise.  They apparently took a very big cut, but I felt it was worth it at the time.  They also hooked me up with resources I didn't know about.  I was very lucky with DS that my MIL was retired and happy to look after him (I have the best MIL).  They both went into an awesome group daycare at about age 3.

 

Helen - if you wanted to try vitamin B12, I just found some yesterday at Nutrition House that are methylcobalamin (rather than cyanocobalamin, which does contain small amounts of cyanide) sublingual tablets - 90 for $11.  DD says they taste weird, but I tried it and they just don't taste like much - I think she just got her senses confused and the fridge needed a cleaning-out!

post #167 of 208

Thanks, S&D! I'm actually on the west side of Vancouver but spend a good chunk of time on the east side as well. I signed up for the group anyway :)

 

I'm not sure I'd be comfortable with in-home care with someone I don't know. Thinking about this has really freaked me out and I'm stressing over it! We hope to avoid it altogether until she's 2 at least. I will check out Wee Watch though and have a look - thanks for the suggestion.

post #168 of 208

Hi, everyone!  Help!  Does anyone happen to own a copy of Alfie Kohn's Unconditional Parenting DVD?  And could you lend it to me this week?  I was in this position (I sheepishly admitSheepish.gif) before Christmas, and here we are again.  I am hosting a screening of the DVD on UBC Campus for interested parents, this Friday, Jan 28th, and have ordered the DVD, but it hasn't arrived yet!  Yikes!  I am desperate!  I don't want to have to turn people away; there is apparently quite a lot of interest in this screening, and I have no movie!  

 

 

Any suggestions?  Anyone own it?  I know you don't know me, but I live in Family Housing at UBC and would pick it up and return it to you promptly!  :)

 

Thanks, everyone!bow2.gif

post #169 of 208

Sea Island, that is tough. :hug

 

We went through similar bedtime issues with Emily, though I don't think anxiety was a factor so much; she claimed she was "too scared" to fall asleep alone but I think it was more about wanting attention and/or needing something to occupy her mind. It was getting really tough as I'd have to lie in bed with her until she fell asleep, which would sometimes take forever and it was really affecting the whole family. For her we found that an audio book on CD was the ticket. It gave her something to focus her mind on. She also has a nightlight and we agreed she could bring the cat to bed with her for company (she adores our cat). This worked very very well. She is also allowed to read a book or draw while listening to her CD (yes, she reads one book and listens to another at the same time, lol) so she has a booklight for those things. Most of the time she will fall asleep while listening, though if she doesn't she will often come into our bed claiming she is "scared". This tends to happen when she is in a phase of sleeping in and staying up late - the CD ends and she decides to come to us because she is still awake and we are now in bed. I don't know if this will work for your DD, as it sounds like you've already had the discussion with her about what you could do to make bedtime a less anxious situation. I also don't know much about anxiety and it may be that a naturopath or someone could help with that. I know how hard it can be so I wish you luck in finding a solution that works for you all!

post #170 of 208

Sea Island, you could also try magnesium for sleep issues. It can also help anxiety issues to some degree. Natural calm is one brand. Epsom salt baths also help as magnesium absorbs through the skin. Many people are magnesium deficient which I gather is partly due to depleted magnesium in soils. Also have you looked into sensory issues? We are in the midst of getting our daughters assessed for SPD. One has difficulty getting to sleep and also has had many fears in the past. Younger one won't go to sleep without an adult which is on sensory checklists. Melatonin has helped. We also use liquid and put a small amount in water.

 

Carmen, we had our kids close together so they didn't have much childcare. Our oldest spent 5 weeks at a home daycare that we chose through Wee Care. My husband got laid off so it didn't last long. When I was pregnant with our 3rd, we had Japanese speaking nanny for 4 months.

 

Adrianna, gluten free has helped our kids. It is tricky though, as eating out/travelling can be like a minefield. Our 7 yr old gets into everything, steals money out of my wallet, will sneak out of things like swim practise/day camp and buy stuff from vending machine. She will also eat things that she knows she shouldn't and of course, she is the one whose behaviour issues tend to worsen from some food substances. At home, we don't have a problem making sure we are gluten free.

post #171 of 208
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by westcoastmom View Post

Sea Island, you could also try magnesium for sleep issues.

If you can get your hands on it, Magnesium glycinate is the best form.  It would be a bit less expensive at a Health Food store, but if you can't find it there (don't know if it's available), I believe Kripp's Pharmacy makes it in large enough bulk to avoid the expense of custom-made medication - I believe they're in Kerrisdale now.

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by westcoastmom View Post

Adrianna, gluten free has helped our kids. It is tricky though, as eating out/travelling can be like a minefield. Our 7 yr old gets into everything, steals money out of my wallet, will sneak out of things like swim practise/day camp and buy stuff from vending machine. She will also eat things that she knows she shouldn't ...

Oh, that's awful!!!  But it definitely demonstrates something I've seen in many kids: non-IgE allergic reactions to some foods (especially wheat and dairy) can be neuro-stimulating to the point that it almost becomes an addiction.  DS reacts that way to wheat and to yams, though it's been years since he ate them, so it hasn't occurred to him to try those things.  Yet.  :o

post #172 of 208

Re: pools and chlorine etc.

Lori I know you and others were discussing pools that have less chemicals. We just went to Renfrew Community Center  pool, it has just been renovated and uses Ultraviolet instead of chlorine. I'm not sure of the exact details but you should call and find out. We all found the swim very enjoyable, and the less chemicals were REALLY noticable. We went for the discount swim which also featured the Wibit (big bouncy structure on the water, it was FUN!

Everyone should check it out.

post #173 of 208

Hi everyone!

I'm probably the last to know about this, but I heard about it today and wanted to share. There's a brand new Facebook page for a group called Waldorf in Vancouver that's trying to set up a Waldorf inspired program in the city. 

post #174 of 208

Hi
Vancouver mommas

I'm new here, thought I'd say hi. I live in New West with my DH and 6 month old son.

Do any of you use soap nuts for laundry? I use them for my cloth diapers (actually all laundry now) and am hoping to order some wholesale if others are interested? I'm not trying to make $, just like to save some and the more people the better the deal we all get

post #175 of 208

Hi everyone!

I'm going through the process of becoming a DONA and CAPPA certified birth and postpartum doula, and I'm looking to attend births as a free or low-cost doula. If you know anyone who could use these services, feel free to PM me, and I am happy to give my contact information and more info about my experience and philosophies about birth, for you to pass along!

post #176 of 208

hey mamas, i know one of you would love to start a new season's thread. something about spring coming? ;) we had a positively warm day yesterday here, a whole 9 degrees! i hope you're all very well x 

 

 

post #177 of 208
Quote:
Originally Posted by imogenlily View Post

Hi everyone!

I'm going through the process of becoming a DONA and CAPPA certified birth and postpartum doula, and I'm looking to attend births as a free or low-cost doula. If you know anyone who could use these services, feel free to PM me, and I am happy to give my contact information and more info about my experience and philosophies about birth, for you to pass along!



What area(s) are you able to work in?

post #178 of 208

weliveintheforest: throughout Greater Vancouver - so outer limits being Surrey/Delta/Ladner?

post #179 of 208

Hi everyone. Just wanted to let you know that Groupon has a big discount on 4 Cats Arts Academy workshops. DD took a workshop there a couple years ago and I was very impressed..

 

post #180 of 208

imogenlily ... Are you interested in attending birth's after yours?  I have a friend due in September.  She was talking about having a doula this time. 

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