Comments like, "when they brought you back to me I thought they had given me the wrong baby. You looked like a little Mexican baby! All bright red and thick black hair" ( to me this says i was taken from my mother right away since she didnt know what i looked like, then when i was given back to her she had doubts that i really was hers)
And, the fact that my mother was induced 3 weeks early ( I still have no idea why and i dont talk to my mother, so I cant ask her) by a doctor who came into her room while she was sleeping and broke her water(can you break someons water while they're sleeping?) without her consent.
was in labor 22 hours (wonder what that was like for me tryin to make my way out before i was really ready)
Had trouble breast feeding
Not to mention the fact that my mother felt she had conceived me out of "sin" and had to make up for it by making her child a child of "god". A child who was also naturally "born into sin" <---- thats a whole nother jar of cookies for maybe a different site though.
I feel like i can remember it almost and its not something that gives me the feeling of satisfaction or content. I feel I see how alot of what happend at my birth has translated into other areas of my life.
It seems like my mother giving birth was the experience of alot of women in those days (unfortunatly for a lot of women these days) induction, stirups, epidural,the whole push for 3 counts of ten even though we arnt even sure your having a contraction, episiotomy, baby being taken to go to nursury with other screaming babies. But is this typical birth scene what has givin alot of us our mentality? This clicking together has come after I had already been having a growing interest in pre/perinatal psychology. Am I anaylizing it too much? Am i being harsh on my mother for having these feelings of resentment for not protecting me in my first impressions of the outside world? (a continuous theme in mine and and my mothers relationship). Is my determination to do it so differently from my mother clouding my judgments?
Not really expecting responses to this..... not sure why.