Anxiety disorder - can you tell me your dc's symptoms?

[4Marmalade]

We are really struggling with our almost 8 year old ds right now. Honestly, we've probably always struggled with him. All of his "quirks" (for lack of a better word) are combining and making things very difficult. These are some of his "symptoms":

- a need to be in control and wants things his way (if he doesn't get it he can turn on the person - usually his younger sister)
- perfectionist (makes one mistake and says he's horrible at .....)
- emotional (cries a lot)
- mood swings (angry and then switches to happy almost instantly but also gets way too excited too fast - he is rarely somewhere in the middle)
- dramatic
- loud and talks a lot
- does not/cannot make decisions easily (most recent was 20 minutes of crying because he couldn't decide if he wanted to pull his loose tooth out or not and almost refused to go biking because he was afraid his tooth would fall out)
- frustrated very easily (there is no window of opportunity to discuss things before he loses control)
- aggressive (goes into rages where he hits out and screams at us)
- does very well with routine and no big changes

All of the above can be seen as "normal" for any child I guess, but he just seems so extreme in all his reactions. We also have a history of depression in my family and there is some mental illness on dh's side as well (schizophrenia) so that's always something to consider. I think I might have a mild anxiety disorder as well so I can see where ds might get it from.

This morning he had a huge anxiety episode about going back to school. I know that many kids can have a hard time with the transition but he was almost hysterical and crying and refusing to go. It just seems so over the top and I feel so bad for him. I worry about him at school although he has liked it in the past, his teachers say he is a kind, caring student who excels. I don't know..... It's hard because no one else really sees what we do or if they do it's once or twice and can be chalked up to normal behaviour.

It has been many years of us trying different things and we are now reaching out for help. We have recently been to a naturopath and are awaiting some food sensitivity testing results. In the meantime we have cut out dairy. We will start to see a counsellor and see what they can offer. I am not sure what else to do. I'm wondering if going to our family doctor and asking for a referral to ??? (who, I don't know).

I feel like I have babbled on and I don't mean to but I'm just so worried and not sure where to go. I guess we have made some moves to get help but I just wish I had a better idea of what was going on with him.

[Linda on the move]

Your child needs a full neuro-pych evaluation.

I see you are in Canada and I don't know how the system works there. In the states, my advice would be to request an eval through the school (make the request in writing in a dated letter) AND also go through private channels if you have good insurance.

I'm so sorry that you are going through this and I hope that you are able to find some answers.

[beachcomber]

I agree with Linda on the neuro-psych eval. As you're in ON, see your GP or Ped about it and request a psych assessment and neuro screen. He's got something going on. Anxiety could be a cause or a result of it.

Hugs to you OP. You and DS will get through this.

[blessedwithboys]

Have you met my son and did you write this post about him?

My ds2 fits your description nearly perfectly. We are leaning towards early-onset bi-polar disorder, with a touch of anxiety thrown in, and some mildly autistic-like personality traits.

To answer the title of the thread, for my son, anxiety looks like this: I mention that I will ask his counselor to talk to him about how we can get him over his fear of flying on an airplane and he goes into a rage and cries and screams about how I hate him and want him to die by falling out of the sky and then if I ask him to please try to modulate his arousal level, he hits me.

[4Marmalade]

Thanks for the input. I have to say that the above symptoms are only present some of the time. Reading it over it looks extreme to list only the "negative" things and not let you know all the positives in being with my son. I am not excusing them, I still feel that there is something going on and during the bad times it can seem pretty bad. We have good days and bad days. He went happily to school today (now that he knows where his classroom is) and was nice and helpful in escorting his younger sister on to the bus.

I am meeting with the counsellor tonight so will get some idea of the resources she has available to us. We will also meet with our family doctor to see what avenue we would take to see if we could get a formal diagnosis of anything. I am not sure what resources are available through the school system - I will have to look into that.