Doubting decision to work...will it pass?

[AJHCFamily]

I work part-time, from home, good pay, in a job I really enjoy...couldn't ask for anything better. I also have a wonderful sitter. I have a 5 month old and he is just now starting to do well with her after 2 months, but my 3 year old who I worried about a lot with a new sitter has been doing wonderfully. Now I get mostly uninterrupted work hours.

Problem is, I am having trouble working and concentrating and find myself often thinking I wish I didn't work. I like my job and want to keep it. I don't think it's the work, I think it's more poor sleep I've been getting plus struggling to balance mothering two children with to-dos, work, household etc. I have extra help with house cleaning, no family in town but good friends, my husband has some flexibility in his work schedule, etc. I don't think I'm lacking support.

I guess what I am saying is I have everything I need plus the perfect job and I'm still struggling. Is it normal to feel this way? Do others somewhat regularly question or wonder if they are doing the right thing? I keep telling myself to give it a few more months and reevaluate. I just wish I didn't keep doubting and rethinking my decision. I feel like my head is so cloudy and full and when I try to start working, off goes my mind and I get little done.

Thanks for listening to my gripes and groans. I've been trying to work this out for a while and have talked to friends and my husband, but I feel really stuck.

[cakemama579]

I think it is a constant struggle to find balance for many, many women, so at least know that you aren't alone.

The first thing that popped into my head when reading this was, what time are you trying to get this work done? Perhaps it is partly as simple as finding that perfect time when you have the most clarity.

I'm a full-time nursing student, and I find that at the end of the day (and even during the day in my lectures) my brain is shot, because i'm thinking about all of the things I need to get done, whether my DS is happy at his school, etc., etc. In my previous college career, I didn't have a DS yet, and could get my best studying done at night. Now I find that the only time I have a clear mind is really early in the am before anyone wakes up.

Maybe you could try to find that moment for yourself? Just a thought. good luck, and hang in there.

[texmati]

yes, my job is incredibly flexible/family friendly, but I can't seem to go 3 months without evaluating the budget to see if I could leave.

I think everyone has thoughts of the 'other life'-- especially when things get tough.

[GuildJenn]

I think it waxes and wanes but never fully goes away.

[BetsyS]

Originally Posted by texmati

I think everyone has thoughts of the 'other life'-- especially when things get tough.

As someone from the "other" side (I'm a SAHM), I can assure you that this is true. When we're having a tough stage (either with my kids or with money), I do the math and make pro/con lists and try to figure out if it makes sense for me to go back.

[texmati]

Originally Posted by BetsyS

As someone from the "other" side (I'm a SAHM), I can assure you that this is true. When we're having a tough stage (either with my kids or with money), I do the math and make pro/con lists and try to figure out if it makes sense for me to go back.

s: thanks for this.

I think it also depends on personality-- my dh can make a decision and never look back-- even if it doesn't turn out well. I'm constantly reevaluating. I know both sahm's and working mom's who are so sure that the path they chose is the right one for them-- sometimes I wish I could be that way.