Bubble Wrap Generation - Page 4

[Shera971]

Originally Posted by mamadelbosque

NEVER climb UP anything you can't climb back DOWN. And they know it. If they climb up something they can sit ontop of it and scream their little lungs out for an hour tilll they decide to climb back down

I don't think I understand. So you're kids aren't allowed to make a mistake? What if they climb something and then realize they can't or are too scared to come down (even if its the second time)? You let them be alone and scared and won't help them? Perhaps I misunderstood your post.

[honeybee]

Originally Posted by Llyra

I'm a nutcase about car and traffic safety. It's cars that are the number one danger to children in this country, after all, and so I am very comfortable being extremely over-careful about all things related to vehicles. And so many parents of young kids are so extremely casual about car seats, for instance, to the point of breaking the law. And it drives me nuts, because in so many cases that I can think of, the parents with the four year old riding with nothing but a lap belt are the same parents who are anxiously hovering over their kids at the playground.

I think too many parents worry about the wrong dangers. And I hate it when I hear car seats used as an example of "bubble wrap" parenting. I see that sometimes in articles about this issue.

EXACTLY! I just don't get it. I'm totally the same way. Carseat safety, using bike helmets and life jackets... I am viewed as the paranoid parent. But I let my kids just play at the playground, so long as they're not throwing sand in another kid's face or something. I once had a grandma actually physically take ds2 off the slide he was climbing up and then look around with an annoyed face, obviously trying to find his parent. Nobody else was coming down, and he wasn't hurting anything, and yes, I could see him the whole time, I just wasn't hovering underneath him.

And when people are talking about bubble wrap parenting, they are not talking about following toddlers/two-year-olds around. But I have seen a lot of people hovering over 3/4/5+ year olds in a way that makes me feel exhausted just looking at them!

[lolar2]

Total tangent, but it sounds to me as though the grandmother saw slide-climbing as an etiquette issue.

[honeybee]

Originally Posted by lolar2

Total tangent, but it sounds to me as though the grandmother saw slide-climbing as an etiquette issue.

No, I'm pretty sure by her body language she was worried he was going to fall. She didn't look annoyed... just concerned.

[mamadelbosque]

They can make mistakes all they like... they just can't expect me to come up after them repeatdly. DS2 liked to climb up on one of our little desks and then scream till you put him down - and he'd do it again. and again. and again. and again. For *hours* on end - climb up, scream to get down, climb up, scream to get down, rinse & repeat. So after a couple times, he got left there. And yes, he wanted down, but you know what? He was just going to climb back up, so I left'm for nearly an hour while I cooked dinner - I could see him and he could see me and he was perfectly safe. He eventually figured out how to get back down. An you know what? He hasn't been back up on it since.

If your there to rescue kids constantly, they'll get in trouble constantly. If you make them learn to think about things and figure stuff out on their own, they will. And they'll think twice about climbing stuff.

[cschick]

Originally Posted by MJB

My kids will happily jump off 10' high climbing structures or from tree branches. I try to discourage that but pretty much sit back and am thankful we have good health insurance and they seem to have strong bones. Thus far they've each had a sprained foot and my oldest got an extremely abraded, bruised hand when his brother smashed it between two bricks, but no breaks or stitches so I think we're doing fine. I let them roam my mom's farm unsupervised and they ride bikes, scooters, and skateboards up and down the sidewalk after school most days.

Hah, sounds like you're describing the way me and my sibs were. We climbed up everything, jumped off everything, and never had a serious injury FROM PLAYING during childhood.

Every one of our serious injuries actually came from doing something non-play related. I sliced my leg open and nicked an artery while taking out the garbage (have a huge scar from that), my sister sliced her foot open (a very, very long cut + missing skin) while walking down the stairs--and we never figured out what she sliced her foot on.

[A&A]

http://www.npr.org/blogs/health/2010...-5-they-should

[kittywitty]

Originally Posted by cschick

Hah, sounds like you're describing the way me and my sibs were. We climbed up everything, jumped off everything, and never had a serious injury FROM PLAYING during childhood.

Not everyone is so lucky. Two kids in my class during 5th grade alone broke their arms or legs on the playground during recess just playing on the equipment. My daughter broke her collarbone just being a 6 year old wrestling around. My little brother fell off his skateboard and broke his leg. And seeing how I am a total klutz, I don't even need to account for the hundreds of injuries I've had from playing. Broke my toes twice just playing soccer, actually.

[lach]

Originally Posted by kittywitty

Not everyone is so lucky. Two kids in my class during 5th grade alone broke their arms or legs on the playground during recess just playing on the equipment. My daughter broke her collarbone just being a 6 year old wrestling around. My little brother fell off his skateboard and broke his leg. And seeing how I am a total klutz, I don't even need to account for the hundreds of injuries I've had from playing. Broke my toes twice just playing soccer, actually.

My best friend broke her leg while holding my hand in 5th grade. There was a very steep slope right next to the school and all my friends and I would play a game where we jumped off of it. I was shorter then so I don't know how tall it was, but it was maybe twice as tall as we were? I'll never forget the sound of her leg cracking (shudder). It's amazing that this didn't happen to more of us!

And, helicoptering or not, it's pretty negligent that the school let us play that game. We played it every day for weeks or months, until this happened. There were playground aides who were supposed to be supervising us, and lord knows what they were supposed to be doing if they were letting 6+ 10 year olds jump off a 10' cliff onto concrete... that doesn't sound so much free range as negligent to me.

It is easy to romanticize the "good old days" when kids had a lot less supervision... but kids did frequently get very hurt. Just reading old children's books and you come across characters who drown or lose legs or suffer really severe accidents while playing.

[SubliminalDarkness]

I think there's a line, and the line is in different places for different kids and different families. I do think some people go too far one way or the other sometimes, but, like was said, I don't know all the circumstances.

I'm sure some people have thought I was overboard yelling at DS2 to "stop running!" But what they may not realize is that he is REALLY bad about falling when running on a decline. He's done it more times than I can count, and has really hurt himself. So he can run uphill, he can run where it's flat, but NOT going downhill.

[Storm Bride]

Originally Posted by lach

And, helicoptering or not, it's pretty negligent that the school let us play that game. We played it every day for weeks or months, until this happened. There were playground aides who were supposed to be supervising us, and lord knows what they were supposed to be doing if they were letting 6+ 10 year olds jump off a 10' cliff onto concrete... that doesn't sound so much free range as negligent to me.

It's all in how you look at it. I'd have had no problem with ds1 playing that game, and would have completely sympathized with hs frustration had his school put a ban on it. (I would not have tried to get it overturned, though. I figure the school has the right to establish their own safety rules while on school property.) I certainly let him do similar things on more than one occasion. He had a better idea of his physical limits than I did (as I'm a klutz, and would have tried to project what I felt capable of onto him, and he's far more coordinated, agile, athletic, etc. than I am).

It is easy to romanticize the "good old days" when kids had a lot less supervision... but kids did frequently get very hurt. Just reading old children's books and you come across characters who drown or lose legs or suffer really severe accidents while playing.

I don't really romanticize them, but my kids have a mostly comparable level of freedom to what I had. I have become paranoid enough to limit a few things we used to do...and enjoy...but I think that mostly means I'm not giving them enough credit.

[Arduinna]

I was just thinking about this in relation to Halloween candy, we live in a sad world where no one trusts each other anymore at all.

[Storm Bride]

Originally Posted by Arduinna

I was just thinking about this in relation to Halloween candy, we live in a sad world where no one trusts each other anymore at all.

The Halloween candy thing is wild. Have you ever checked out Snopes on the topic? We have some seriously bizarre urban legends/cultural myths about Halloween candy.

[Bluegoat]

Originally Posted by Storm Bride

The Halloween candy thing is wild. Have you ever checked out Snopes on the topic? We have some seriously bizarre urban legends/cultural myths about Halloween candy.

My MIL is nuts about Halloween candy safety, I find it so bizarre.

[sweetpeppers]

Originally Posted by lach

It is easy to romanticize the "good old days" when kids had a lot less supervision... but kids did frequently get very hurt. Just reading old children's books and you come across characters who drown or lose legs or suffer really severe accidents while playing.

You say that like these things never happen anymore. It is a dangerous idea to assume that if you just watch kids all the time, nothing bad will happen to them. If you take that idea, then if something does happen, it is the parent's (teacher's, etc.) fault. There will always be accidents. I broke my arm during "naptime" when I was four. Stuff happens. Accepting the idea that every accident can be prevented is what is making this country crazy.

[mamadelbosque]

Another point... kids lost arms/legs in farming accidents. Most kids no longer grow up on farms, and thus no longer have the risks of farm machinery. But let me assure you that kids still occasionally loose arms/legs/etc to farm machinery. I knew at least a couple kids who lost arms/legs due to them when I was a kid in school growing up in rural Ohio. And at least once a year or so theres some other kid who lost an arm/leg/what-have-you in the paper. It still happens - just not to most kids who don't live on farms.

[verde]

You say that like these things never happen anymore. It is a dangerous idea to assume that if you just watch kids all the time, nothing bad will happen to them. If you take that idea, then if something does happen, it is the parent's (teacher's, etc.) fault. There will always be accidents. I broke my arm during "naptime" when I was four. Stuff happens. Accepting the idea that every accident can be prevented is what is making this country crazy.

This past summer I was riding bikes with my DD and a playmate, both 4 y/o's. Of course both wore bike helmets. Friend thought it was fun to run his bike into DD. I told friend several times not to do that and explained why: you could knock her over, you could fall yourself, yadda yadda. He totally ignored me. Then he ran into her again and he did fall straight over right onto his head. This happened directly in front of me. I am thankful that he had his helmet on and he didn't get hurt although he was freaked a bit -- which I was not that unhappy about. I think he learned the natural consequence of running your bike into someone else's bike and has not done that since. But me being there, RIGHT THERE, made no difference at all.

I'm pretty laid back and yes, OP, I've noticed the same thing. My DD has an adventurous spirit, which I admire, and yes, she has been hurt a few times although nothing serious. Once we ended up in the ER because she jumped off of a rock and cut her head. Luckily they used biological glue so it was non-traumatic. But I did not feel guilty or freaked by the fact that it happened. I figure that's part of life. I don't dismiss danger but I don't think we can escape all danger.

[fairymom]

I was only this way with DS(5) but as a lo if he fell and hit his head hard enough to cry he'd end up holding his breath till he passed out and would have mini-siezures (side note: he ended up needing glasses and once he had these the siezures stopped. and no he was not breath holding on purpose!). So I'd follow his around to make sure he didn't hit his head- but I so regret even doing that ever....It took forever to break that cycle and he learned mom would always be. right. there. to monitor him so he never learned any self control or how to play well w/others. It's only been over the past 1.5 years I've been able to let go and he has SO totally bloomed in that time!


This also reminds me of how my parents raised my lil bro (9 yr younger than me)- I was a free range kid (was going to the local park alone at 5-3/4 blks away, riding my bike to Kindergarten alone- almost a mile, and playing on well used rail road tracks w/the neighborhood kids.) living in the city. My brother on the other hand always had someone right.there.at.every.move. He never learned to swim, didn't learn to ride a bike till he was a teen, all because no one was there to "catch" him or encourage him to take his own chances. And now at 25 he still lives at home w/my step-dad. And my mom wonders what she/they did wrong. She sees this a lot w/adult children of his generation. So obiviously it's not a new parenting techinque! But one that's already been proven to not be beneifical at all in the long run.

I was given space as a child and want to give my children the same. Yes times are very different- there's no way I'd ever let my Kindergarten ride to school alone (even though the school is at the end of the block), but I feel as long as I help to teach them how to be SAFE and make decsions and fall down they'll come to learn what is best and safe for them and know themselves better than me.

[~Charlie's~Angel~]

I havent read all the replies.

I just wanted to say that I think its unfair to pass judgement on someone else whose situation youve only caught a mere glimpse of.

You would probably consider me hovering if you saw me with my two at the park. But honestly, I dont care if you or anyone else thinks Im hovering to much. Im trying to keep my kids safe from injury. Do I expect them to get hurt? Sure. But if I see them doing something that could cause a trip to the ER, im going to redirect them. Period. Or if my 3 year old is chucking woodchips, Im gonna remind him how rude that is. If my Two year old is cutting infront of another child on the slide, Im going to instruct him to wait his turn. Call me neurotic, I dont really care.

Personally, I think its great that parents are actually spending time with thier children in a PARK rather then plopping them down infront of a TV or video game. There is way to much of THAT going on in this day and age.

[~Charlie's~Angel~]

Originally Posted by Peony

Did you know sneezing at the table while eating breakfast can cause a child to whack their head so hard on the table that teeth fly everywhere?

I work with a guy whose 4 year old son dropped his fork while at the dinner table, bent over to get it and bumped his head. Didn't even cry.

After a day of vommitting and dizziness, they found out he had a concusion. Who knew? .

I would like to add that while I hover over my children at the plyaground, both indoor and outdoor, I try to encourage them to climb, run, jump, while I am right there. I feel this enables them to grow strurdy and strong in their bodies, and if there is an injury that requires attention, I am right there to assist. But someday I completly expect them to be riding their bikes to the park without me () and I want them to be armed with as much experience as possible, both safety wise, and propper ettiquette.

Ok, my is over.