May I introduce myself? And ask questions?

[Magpie30]

Hi there!

I am new to the boards here, and oh, how I like what I see! I am a mom of two, DS is 14, DD is 8. I have been a single mom for a number of years, but, thank heavens for second chances, I am getting married in October to my best friend. Both my FH and I are in the National Guard, both veterans of Iraq, both painfully liberal in a very conservative area. He is in nursing school and I am getting ready to start nursing school as well.

We are currently living in a rental apartment, paying about $1000 a month in rent. We are thinking about moving to his hometown, to a family home (owned by him, but "belonging" to his whole family...it's been empty for a while) that we can live in rent free (!), the only downside being that it's really, really small. But we can't keep up living with our expenses exactly equal to our income...not for much longer.

So, does anyone have any tips on MAJOR downsizing? Any ideas on ways to make it easier on the kids? They are kind of lukewarm about the idea; not crazy about it, but looking forward to some of the benefits.

(Note: I cross-posted much of this story to Blended Families. If you want more detail, it's in there. Probably too much detail...I am long winded! )

[zebra15]

HI! Im in a hurry but will reply later tonight to one of your threads

[bluebunny]

Welcome! We are in the process of moving and majorly decluttering right now. I wish I had great advice but the best I can come up with is to declutter, declutter, declutter. Throw out, sell, or donate anything you don't use on a daily basis (or have a specific use for -- Christmas decorations, for example). Then, once you reach the point of getting things pared down, clean out some more.

It is a lot easier to say than do. I'd let the kids go through their own stuff. Give them X number of boxes that they can take with them and let them fill them with what they want. You can always go through and weed out, if needed.

Good luck!

[HeatherAtHome]

I went looking for the extra details.

Questions:

• How long would you live in the house?
• Have you met his family?
• Have you been with FH for a long time? Do you see it as being a stable relationship or is there the possibility that you move out there then feel 'abandoned' later if things don't work out? (Not something to answer publicly, just to think about.)
• Where do you see yourself buying a house? In the city or hometown?

Living well within your means is amazing and takes off SO MUCH stress. Living in a small house could also be stressful. I'd lay it all out for the kids, explain why you're living in the smaller space for now, that it's temporary etc to get them on board with the idea.

Look at the small house thread (in mindful home management) and the clean clear spaces thread (in decluttering) for inspiration. Get rid of as much unnecessary clutter now, before moving.

[Magpie30]

We are looking at 1 year to 18 months in the house, and then we would like to buy a place in hometown. The kids and I are very close to FH's family; in fact, one of the reasons we looked at moving to hometown is that there is a chance of FH (or myself) being deployed to Afghanistan in the next little while, and it would be nice for whoever is left behind to be close to family. My ex is in Baltimore and has little intrest in the kids. He sees DD for 8 weeks every summer, and doesn't see DS at all (that was a mutual choice between the two of them)