Fear and anxiety out the wazooooooooo

[Harmony08]

Hi,

I have always had anxiety. I am sure I have an anxiety disorder. I have had brief sessions with therapists but have not pursued therapy for one reason or another. In general I am able to maintain a normal level of concern and enjoy my life but...

Every so once in awhile I will read something (like the gruesome gang rape in the novel I am reading) or hear something or see something and I find myself unable to be present, enjoy life, be normal because I am just so scared. I guess I can handle anxiety but I can't really handle fear. My current issue is with home invasions and rape. My book scared me so I looked into the topic online and got even more scared and now I am terrified. I think I should see a therapist about how to handle these fears and I am going to look into it. My biggest problem is that if there is even a .oooooo1 % chance of something happening to me or my family I am completely terrified.

Anybody else??
Help

[Caneel]

I have a problem with anxiety also. It started during pregnancy #3 (after 3 mcs) and was directly linked to pregnancy fears. I did see a therapist a few times and it worked wonders.

Fast forward a few years and the anxiety came back but this time, a wide range of things could trigger it.

I actively avoid reading and watching tv about any topic that I find disturbing. I have to for my own sanity. I basically read non-fiction and even then, I carefully screen the books.

If I read or see something about say, snake bites, I will have a very hard time taking a walk in the woods, an activity I very much enjoy. It is when the fear/anxiety started preventing me from doing fun stuff that I talked to my family doctor about it.

Oddly enough (or maybe not) fantastical stuff doesn't bother me. For example, I can watch True Blood and have no anxiety over the violence shown but there is no way I could watch a "real" show about crime.

I talked long and hard with my family doctor about the best course of action and right now, I have a low dose anti-anxiety drug to take when things get bad. I rarely take it, it is like knowing I do have that option helps me deal in the moment.

[journeymom]

It's really common for women to become much more sensitive to graphic scariness after they have children. I experienced this and many moms I know in real life have mentioned the same.

Don't read books like that anymore. Don't read about violent crimes in the news, no matter how morbidly fascinated you are. Be careful about those 10 Worst Disaster type shows on cable. Even if it all ends happily, it's still hard on your brain!

[MichaelsSahm]

I have this with alot of stuff.
I have this fear of dying of an illness, when I get a cold, when I have a tooth infection I freak out and will obsess about dying.
When I hear of a bear in the woods, I get scared.
When I hear of gangs nearby, I get scared.
When i read the news about a new outbreak I am sure to have it. Etc tec!

[Harmony08]

Thank you so much all of you who responded. I really appreciate it. I am pretty careful about what images I let into my brain because I know how crazy my imagination can get. The book was Shanghai Girls. I like Lisa See's books and all of it was fine except for one gruesome page which sort of set me off down the road of feeling that perhaps the world is not as stable and safe as we think it is. I find that I start to genuinely feel justified that my fear is right and required for safety. I have started a mantra that goes you don't have to be scared to be safe. I'm going to go get serious about finding a therapist now.

Thanks!

[bluebirdiemama]

Fear and anxiety are the same thing, IMO. I have had major problems with fear and anxiety in the past. So much that I was 3 months pregnant and 98 pounds. I miscarried that baby
I have thought about therapy but haven't really done it. Now that I am "sober" from all the sources of my anxiety (a lot of news sources) I can see that even looking into such information is not good for me. Even to think about it, is like, glorifying something evil. And I just put my focus on good things instead.
I think that when we dwell on things and mull them over and over in thought and speech, we are just giving it more power over our lives.

[mamefati28]

MichaelsSAHM- I am a lot like you. Classical homeopathy has worked wonders for me. I have totally chilled out.
Hugs to all of you, it is really hard.

[junipermoon]

I'm sorry your book disturbed you. I've also been hugely disturbed by various things I've read or seen; I know how hard it can be to just get side swiped like that, particularly if you weren't expecting it.

A couple of things...the world is not super safe--so learning to manage anxiety is not clear cut, as there is usually a grain of truth to our fears, even if the anxiety is supersized and not appropriate to the level of danger really present.

Have you worked at all with breathing exercises or meditation? Some people (myself included) find these approaches really helpful. Rather than blocking out the fear, the idea here is to just sit with it, without pushing it away but without engaging with it or getting lost in it...that can have a diffusing effect.

Another option is to get involved in some small way in activism that addresses your fears..like signing an anti-violence against women petition or joining an online group that supports women's rights, or something like this.

For me, nothing helps forever, and it is more about handling things bit by bit as they come up.

Hugs, mama. The world is both scary and beautiful--you deserve to see/feel/live in the beautiful parts, too.

[Caneel]

Originally Posted by mamefati28

MichaelsSAHM- I am a lot like you. Classical homeopathy has worked wonders for me. I have totally chilled out.
Hugs to all of you, it is really hard.

Could you tell me more about this? I am very interested.

[myjo]

I'll let mamefati28 give you the details, but I'll just add that I've found homeopathy extremely useful for anxiety too. It can work wonders.

If you can't find a classical homeopath in your area, or if you can't afford one, Bach Flower essenses are also very effective, and much easier to use on your own. I use them all the time, it's often the only thing that can get me through my anxiety. I usually calm down and start thinking straight after taking them a couple of times.

[Harmony08]

[QUOTE=bluebirdiemama;15826186]Fear and anxiety are the same thing, IMO. I have had major problems with fear and anxiety in the past. So much that I was 3 months pregnant and 98 pounds. I miscarried that baby
I have thought about therapy but haven't really done it. Now that I am "sober" from all the sources of my anxiety (a lot of news sources) I can see that even looking into such information is not good for me. Even to think about it, is like, glorifying something evil. And I just put my focus on good things instead.
I think that when we dwell on things and mull them over and over in thought and speech, we are just giving it more power over our lives.[/QUOTE]



SO true. I agree. I have thought things like this. I heard on an Oprah once upon a time that when you replay these images in your mind over and over you need t ask what sort of message you are sending to the universe. I have also thought "what sort of person wants to keep experiencing this???" I read a book about how sometimes we use our thoughts to punish ourselves for some subconscious something from the past or to make ourselves feel a certain way. I look at other people (DH, my friends) who say they know bad things can happen but they don't think about it all the time and it makes me wonder why I feel like I HAVE to be thinking about them all the time??? It doesn't actually make me any safer, does it?? Actually, fear and anxiety probably keep you from taking the steps you need to take to protect yourself if you actually had to in real life.

What frightens me the most ( and why I am seeking therapy now) is that the images I create and play in my head are so disturbing and so unnecessary (like people breaking in and me hiding ds only to have them find him and kill him, etc crazy stuff) Why on earth do I do that to myself??? It seems beyond normal.

[Harmony08]

Thanks Myjo, that is very interesting.

Thank you for your kind words, Juniper Moon. I have tried yoga, meditation, breathing and prayer in some combination for some years now. I really don't want to go on meds so I have been very proactive about it. I agree with what you are saying about taking it bit by bit. Alas, when I get truly pulled under I can't quite come back to the surface.

[mamefati28]

A classical homeopath will find what homeopathic remedy suits your constitution. This is not an acute use of remedies. The initial intake session explores many things and from there a remedy will be picked. My first initial remedy was not correct, but the second remedy REALLY helped with my anxiety/fear stuff.
I have another friend who uses the bach flowers for her anxiety and says they work well.
Good luck, mommas!

[Laedi]

I wish I had some helpful advice but I'm totally in the same boat.

About 6 months before I turned 30 I flipped my lid. I can no longer drive on freeways and I often have outrageous scenarios playing out in my mind. I should really write them down because Steven King has nothing on me.

I don't watch horror movies any more and action movies are few and far between =\

It's horrible and paralyzing. I just want to function normally again.

[Proudmomoftwinsplusone]

When I hear or see something disturbing or violent I feel the same way. There is a lot of ugliness out there and I know that I am very lucky not to have to experienced it firsthand. Sometimes I feel like my number is up and I am due for some misfortune.

Sometimes I come across something upsetting and can't get it out of my mind for a while and some time needs to pass for the thought to fade. I know exactly what you mean.

One thing that really bothers me is when I am watching a show or movie and a rape scene pops up. It really makes me ill to think that passes for entertainment.

[bluebirdiemama]

Originally Posted by Harmony08

SO true. I agree. I have thought things like this. I heard on an Oprah once upon a time that when you replay these images in your mind over and over you need t ask what sort of message you are sending to the universe. I have also thought "what sort of person wants to keep experiencing this???" I read a book about how sometimes we use our thoughts to punish ourselves for some subconscious something from the past or to make ourselves feel a certain way. I look at other people (DH, my friends) who say they know bad things can happen but they don't think about it all the time and it makes me wonder why I feel like I HAVE to be thinking about them all the time??? It doesn't actually make me any safer, does it?? Actually, fear and anxiety probably keep you from taking the steps you need to take to protect yourself if you actually had to in real life.

What frightens me the most ( and why I am seeking therapy now) is that the images I create and play in my head are so disturbing and so unnecessary (like people breaking in and me hiding ds only to have them find him and kill him, etc crazy stuff) Why on earth do I do that to myself??? It seems beyond normal.

I actually did the same thing. It was the spring before I got pregnant with my dd, who is now 1 1/2. I was so strung out on fear and anxiety that I replayed similar senarios over and over. I think that some part of me thought that if I covered all the possibilities in my mind I would be able to keep it from ever happening to me or my family. I guess I thought I could figure out how to hide us from the evil in the world, or else imagined I would prepare myself to deal with anything and everything in advance. I don't know.
But I don't think that it is abnormal. In fact I think it is completely normal for our human minds. When we entertain a thought, and then continue to dwell on it, at one point or another our imagination will take over. Especially with fear, as I think it has it's own mind and power. So I put a lot of effort towards making sure fear doesn't get a foot in the door of my thoughts.

[Harmony08]

This thread has really helped me. Thank you every one for your kind words and for sharing our own stories. It always makes me feel better to know I am not alone although it does sadden me to think of others suffering too.