What's the best way to get teacher changed

[mom2happy]

My DS got the worst of the kindergarten teachers. Her face is in a permanent scowl. I get the vibe that she doesnt really like kids. She is so serious that the day is painfully long and just a drag.
I know I cant pave my sons way through life, but I really dont want him to stay in her class.
Does anyone have good advice of what to say or not to say when calling the principle to request a change?

Here's the update!I called the principal and told her I felt that another teacher would be a better match for my DS's personality. I told her I felt strongly that the teacher he had might not be the best at channeling his energy the way I knew that this other teacher could.
By the way, DS told me over the weekend that he doesnt think his teacher likes him. He said she's not so nice. He's NEVER said anything like that about a teacher and he's had some yellers and some grouches in preschool.

Anyway, the principal was very understanding and put him in the other teacher's class.
When DS got off the bus yesterday he told me he had a new teacher and was very glad. He said that his class is "more funner".
Now I can go about my day taking care of the baby while my other kids are in school and know they are in good hands.
I could not have survived the school year knowing he was stuck for 7 hours a day in a dreary situation at only 5 years old.
I was prepared to homeschool him if I couldnt get him switched.

[pregnant@40]

I'm kindof a bulldog advocate for my child, but since the school year has just started, isn't now the best time to speak w/ the principal? If you don't step up for him, who will?

I would approach the principal in a matter-of-fact, gentle way. State that her classroom is "not a good fit" for your child, that she already seems burned out & that you do not want his enthusiasm for school to be squashed at an early age b/c of one unhappy teacher. Then state firmly that you are requesting a room change, and that you feel strongly about this.

[mimim]

Originally Posted by pregnant@40

I would approach the principal in a matter-of-fact, gentle way. State that her classroom is "not a good fit" for your child, that she already seems burned out & that you do not want his enthusiasm for school to be squashed at an early age b/c of one unhappy teacher. Then state firmly that you are requesting a room change, and that you feel strongly about this.

The best way is to ask, but be aware that it will likely take changing another child into your DS's spot and that may be a big roadblock. In the future, you could try asking for specific teachers before school starts.

[meemee]

first make sure your experience is the same as your son's.

i have had so many make a judgement call on teachers when teachers dont deserve it. for many of them they have no 'table manners' around parents but they are a dream around kids. the kids just love them.

in fact the most strict, serious looking teacher happens to be the kids favourite.

so just make sure your assessment is the same as your son.

please note i am not saying you are wrong. i am saying just make sure your assessment is correct.

i would first talk to your principal. i am not sure how you would do it. i am not sure if the school would listen to you. i have no idea what the right way is.

[_ktg_]

Originally Posted by meemee

first make sure your experience is the same as your son's.

i have had so many make a judgement call on teachers when teachers dont deserve it. for many of them they have no 'table manners' around parents but they are a dream around kids. the kids just love them.

in fact the most strict, serious looking teacher happens to be the kids favourite.

so just make sure your assessment is the same as your son.

please note i am not saying you are wrong. i am saying just make sure your assessment is correct.

i would first talk to your principal. i am not sure how you would do it. i am not sure if the school would listen to you. i have no idea what the right way is.

Can you visit his classroom and observe? I know our teacher welcomes parents to come, and visit all the time.

[zebra15]

Originally Posted by mom2happy

My DS got the worst of the kindergarten teachers. Her face is in a permanent scowl. I get the vibe that she doesnt really like kids. She is so serious that the day is painfully long and just a drag.
I know I cant pave my sons way through life, but I really dont want him to stay in her class.
Does anyone have good advice of what to say or not to say when calling the principle to request a change?

As someone who works in the public school system, changing classrooms is difficult at best. Most schools are filled to the max and staffed accordindly. So like the PP said 'to switch johnny, we need to move susie as well'.

Many teachers take a 'serious' approach the first month(s) of school to set the rules, policies and classroom management strategies. - Have you ever tried to maintain order with 25-35, 5-6 yr olds? She is probably the only adult in the room for most of the day. If the teacher is lucky she has an aide but don't count on it. She may also be serious because kindy is now viewed as a place for learning not play like it was 20 years ago. YES! Kindy is the new 1st grade.

It sounds like your DS is in all day kindy. Is this his first experience in a school type setting? Has he been to pre-school or daycare before? I've found that kids who start kindy w/o anything before have a bit of a 'shock' at times. Not that a class or program before kindy is necessary but sometimes just a simple story time at the library helps things a bit.

OP- I'd say give the teacher some time. Everyone is finding rhythm the first few weeks.

[mom2happy]

OP here
I just want to mention that this teacher is known to pick on active type boys a lot. She has no tolerance for children who move around or have their own ideas. She is very strict and never smiles. It is full day kindergarten.
My DS has experience with preschool for 2 years and liked it.
Ive spoken to several mothers who's children had her and no one thought she was good for their child.
I wanted to give it a chance, but when I see him get off the bus, he looks like he had a bad day. It's only been 3 days.

[zebra15]

Originally Posted by mom2happy

OP here
I just want to mention that this teacher is known to pick on active type boys a lot. She has no tolerance for children who move around or have their own ideas. She is very strict and never smiles. It is full day kindergarten.
My DS has experience with preschool for 2 years and liked it.
Ive spoken to several mothers who's children had her and no one thought she was good for their child.
I wanted to give it a chance, but when I see him get off the bus, he looks like he had a bad day. It's only been 3 days.

What I see is: possibly a teacher who likes order and classroom management - nothing wrong with that.
There is a huge change from preschool to kindy.
This is day THREE.

Remember a huge part of traditional school is learning order and procedure. I cant tell you how many minutes and probably hours of the week I spend with kids just waiting for them to quiet down, get in line, get ready to go somewhere, etc. And I usually work with middle school age kids. School by its nature is order, rules, quiet and such. When you think about it, school is not a fun place. There is alot of hype to make school appear fun, but is it?

Your DS school day is probably longer than he is used to, there may be a new bus ride added is as well- which adds a whole new set of - here we go again, RULES and PROCEDURES.... thats alot for a 5 yr old to take in.

It's day 3... give the poor teacher a chance.

This is kindy.. he has 12 more years of 'bad' teachers... you and ds are going to need to learn to work with who you are assigned if you choose to stay with traditional schooling. Potentially complaining on the third day with no concrete evidence isn't going to fly with the office, principal, administration or superintendent. No teacher is perfect but I'm betting classroom management is a huge part of what this teacher is instilling in her room.

[One_Girl]

Originally Posted by mom2happy

OP here
I just want to mention that this teacher is known to pick on active type boys a lot. She has no tolerance for children who move around or have their own ideas. She is very strict and never smiles. It is full day kindergarten.
My DS has experience with preschool for 2 years and liked it.
Ive spoken to several mothers who's children had her and no one thought she was good for their child.
I wanted to give it a chance, but when I see him get off the bus, he looks like he had a bad day. It's only been 3 days.

What is he saying about it and does he warm up quickly after getting home? My dd doesn't transition well and looks very serious when she gets home, she was also very hungry at that age when she got home because they didn't do snack. Once she got home and ate she was fine and talked about all the fun stuff they were doing. Going from preschool to actual school can be a huge shift from preschool where the work is mostly play. If the kindergarten is academic it may take quite a while for him to adjust to going from mostly free choice to almost no free choice, especially if he is pushing limits right now.

I didn't actually like her K teacher but she turned out to be marvelous. She actually had a bad reputation to but she was the most cheery sunny person with the kids (I got to volunteer and see it first hand). Most of the kids she had the bad reputation from were also in her after school program and they were not violent and badly behaved, not a little squirmy and free thinkers they ignored the teachers, hit, teased, etc... Those kids often feel differently about their teachers than kids who are a little squirmy and free thinking but also gentle and thoughtful.

Her first grade teacher was awful despite having a cheery personality. I was unable to change my dd despite having clear reasons to. If I had pushed to the principals supervisors I probably would have been able to do it, but she had already complained about my dd to the other teachers in her grade level so I didn't think it would turn out well. Not having something to go off of except a personality clash and what other parents say (which will probably be interpreted as denial and may raise a question of whether you also are in denial if it is anything like my experience with dd's school) probably won't get you the change you want. I think you should just ask and see what they say, if there is a part day option maybe you can switch him into that and use it as an excuse. With nothing to go off ofthat is concrete and tied to your actual child except a feeling of not liking her for your child, I don't know that it is likely to happen even if you do go to the supervisor but that is an option if the principal won't move him.

[Cascadian]

I want to second (third) the fact that sometimes the teachers who are more strict/not as parent friendly turn out to be the absolute best ones. My DD had one two years in a row (the same one; split class the second time around) that the majority of parents detested. She was strict and did not fall for a lot of the brown nosing that happens with both parents AND kids. She treated everyone equally, with loving discipline, and was a phenomenal teacher. So yeah, active boys and withdrawn girls - or the opposite - had to perform to a certain standard of behaviour and interaction, courtesy for other students and the teacher.

From my experience, most principals get a billion of these calls and the standard line is that sorry, nothing they can do. Planning a classroom takes a lot of time, and lots of things are balanced - resources, 'active' kids, special needs ones, ESL ones - so that they are evenly distributed. IMO I'd save the 'changing of the teacher' card for one whose teaching is substandard.

[pregnant@40]

OP, I would love to know what you do. Sounds like a difficult situation. Several valid angles have been brought up in this thread.

Personally, I know that my child will encounter burned out, inflexible teachers in his school career. I just don't want that experience for him in kindergarten, when a child is so vulnerable & initially enthusiastic about school. A warm environment is more important to me than strong academics at this point, so I would not reserve making requests exclusively for substandard teaching. My child's psychosocial state is more important at age 5-6.

I also have a son, and understand how boys need to move. The research supports classrooms that allow boys run/play periods around the academic moments; I would want a teacher that understands where my child is developmentally. However, I live in an urban area & have a lot more freedom in switching schools if need be.

Perhaps the first step should be to address your concerns directly w/ the teacher, using a neutral & friendly tone: "I'm concerned that my son is not enjoying his kindergarten experience, and am wondering what you have seen through the years w/ new students? I want for him to cultivate a real love of school. " Then start a conversation & feel out her perspective & philosophy. You might get a better idea of how she envisions the year & utilizes her approach. At that point you will have more information w/ which to make a decision.

I am fortunate that my child's school has two great kindergarten teachers who understand little kids and are able to allow movement & free expression, yet balance that with periods of learning, quiet, focus. Some teachers are just more skilled than others. Who you get is luck of the draw.

[St. Margaret]

It seems like in some areas, switching schools would be easier than switching rooms at this point. Like in some areas there's lots of school choice and no limits or at least schools with plenty of room, and they are happy to take a student (more money sometimes), whereas switching rooms most schools protect the teachers-- otherwise some teachers will get stuck with huge classes or what have you. Some schools are very strict about this. It does totally stink when you get stuck with a "bad" teacher-- I'm a teacher and I know there are lousy ones out there. If a teacher were bad enough, I'd consider switching schools for one year, or HSing for one year, if the school refused to do anything (and as a second-to-last resort, letting them know you are going to do so might motivate them to accomodate you, because again they lose money when they lose students. But you never know.

[SunshineJ]

If your instincts are telling you this teacher is a bad fit for him, then ask to have him reassigned. Yes, there are new rules in elementary school, yes teachers have to establish authority, etc. but sometimes, no matter what the grade, a teacher and a child just clash. Also, the early years of school tend to require a lot of parent teacher interaction (older years may as well, I'm not there yet so I can't say!), and if there's a clash between the teacher and you it can cause issues as well.

When ds was in kindy we had concerns about his teacher. She was very unstructured, and we were worried that it was a bad fit for him. It turns out we were correct, and by the time we found out just how bad it was, it was too far in the school year to switch him. Do what YOU feel is in the best interest of your child.

With that being said, different schools have different policies. At our current school all you have to do is say "I need to have my child moved to a different class" and it will generally be done within 2 days. Simple as that. At our previous school it seemed like it almost took a court order or something! I would approach the principal and initially start with a request to have your son reassigned to a different teacher. See how receptive the principal is, offer no reasons initially. If the principal wants more details, do NOT criticize your child's current teacher - that makes the principal defensive and can trickle back to the teacher. In who's class your child is still enrolled. Just emphasize that it's not a good fit, and express concerns among those lines. Good luck!

[CarrieMF]

Ive spoken to several mothers

Have you seen what these mothers are saying or are you just taking their word?

I would see what is going on before requesting a class change for my kid. I've found there are certain people who have problems with teachers every year. AFter 2-3 years in a row you start to think it isn't the teachers but the kid/family.

A friend of mine had problems with her oldest's teachers in elementary & middle school, moreso in middle school. Her middle dd has had problems with EVERY teacher in elementary school. THis year that dd went to middle school & her mom was so happy because the teachers were so good at the middle school. These are the same teachers they had problems with for 3years while her oldest was there(and had just been out of that school for 1 year). This friend makes constant excuses for why her dd's have problems with teachers & it is NEVER, EVER her kids fault. It's always the teachers, even when she's trying to get special treatment for her children(that is uncalled for).

That's not to say that these mothers aren't right, but I'd find out if what they're saying is really as bad as they say it is.

[MovnMama]

As a high school teacher, I can't weigh in much on the elem. side of things, but I do know that teachers come in all shapes and dispositions. I will say that I am new to my school (this is my second year) and many people have talked about an elderly, old teacher here that we got in a "bad trade" (union thing). Anyhow, teachers and admin (some students) talk a lot of cr*p about his bad teaching. Now, I haven't had the privilege to observe him first hand, but in one year, here's what I've seen: he's approached me about a student that joined our alternative program, and was experiencing abuse, that the student mentioned he was comfortable with me, and could I reach out to the student to provide positive adult interaction?; he's come to me on more than one occasion to ask for technology advice, so he can use new district tools and technology he's not comfortable with, that he knows students will respond to; and when I go in on Saturday to make copies or do other work, he's there, working, when no other teacher ever comes in on the weekend. Also I'm pretty sure he's eligible for retirement, but keeps teaching. All signs point to dedication IMO, but people insist he's a terrible teacher.

Possibly , but I'm trying to illustrate that other people's opinions are not necessarily the conclusion you would come to. Teachers are unique, and the best judge of their abilities is you, (and occasionally their principal). My advice is to SEE the teacher in action first hand. You are definitely not pointlessly meddling if you remove him from a class you know is not a good match for him, but to do so without being fully informed would be a mistake, IMO.

Also, it would be helpful for you to avail yourself of whatever "political" situations are surrounding your school district. For example, like some PP said, sometimes switching schools is easier, and sometimes school choice plays such a role that parent opinion carries a lot of weight. In other districts, school choice is non-existent and you are essentially stuck. Rural vs. urban politics is a big player in such situations as well.

Finally, it is my humble opinion that elementary school teachers are saints - I can't imagine managing 25-30 people under 7 ALL DAY in the same room. Not to mention actually leading them to LEARN anything! I have a hard job in HS, but that takes the cake .

[ssh]

Originally Posted by One_Girl

If I had pushed to the principals supervisors I probably would have been able to do it, but she had already complained about my dd to the other teachers in her grade level so I didn't think it would turn out well.

Gossiping about a student to other teachers who do not also teach that student violates the student's right of privacy and is illegal. I used to teach high school math and gifted junior high math. Unless you are in a conference with other teachers, the parents and an administrator you usually just talk to the parents or an administrator about a students issues. Privacy is a big legal deal now.

[swell_mel]

Originally Posted by mom2happy

OP here
I just want to mention that this teacher is known to pick on active type boys a lot. She has no tolerance for children who move around or have their own ideas. She is very strict and never smiles. It is full day kindergarten.
My DS has experience with preschool for 2 years and liked it.
Ive spoken to several mothers who's children had her and no one thought she was good for their child.
I wanted to give it a chance, but when I see him get off the bus, he looks like he had a bad day. It's only been 3 days.

I would give it more time before making a decision- unless she does something absolutely outrageous before then. Kindergarten can be a big adjustment- even with preschool experience. I would ask lots of questions after he gets home from school to get a feel for how she is treating him and others. It goes without saying but make sure the questions aren't one sided like 'How mean was she today?' KWIM? I would also suggest scheduling a parent teacher conference just to have a chance to talk to her to get a better feel about her.

[mom2happy]

OP here again.
I forgot to mention that I was the class mom for the other kindergarten teacher 2 years ago. So, I do know her teaching style and way she interacts with the children. I would be fine with her for any other grade, just not my child's first year (and its a full day for a 5 year old) of school.
The parents I have spoken to said that they did stick it out despite the gossip and by the time they realized how much their child didn't like school, it was too late during the year to ask for a switch.
Like I said, I'm not trying to pave my kids way through life, but this is setting the tone for the years to come. My DS had a pre k teacher who was strict and very organized, but knew how to work with children and make them want to behave. He loved school.
I have to go with my gut. I feel very uncomfortable with him being gone for 7 hours a day having a miserable time.
He is a very happy kid and has a great time everywhere. He has so much energy that the day doesn't tire him- he is always ready for action.
When he gets off the bus he looks squashed and down. That is not the way he is.
I'm waiting for the principal's decision.

[greenmulberry]

Originally Posted by mom2happy

OP here
I just want to mention that this teacher is known to pick on active type boys a lot. She has no tolerance for children who move around or have their own ideas. She is very strict and never smiles.

This comment brought back bad memories of my kindergarten. I had a very strict, humorless, teacher, the parents liked her because they thought of her as "no nonsense", but I guess they didn't have any way to know that she would lose her temper and scream, would shake kids for minor infractions (I still recall seeing this little boys head flopping around as she shook him violently for shrugging his shoulders). She would just lose it and yell if we were having class time and nobody could provide the right answer. The shaking thing for some reason at the time never occurred to (5 year old) me as abuse, she had a way of framing everything as "Look at what you are making me do" that really made us feel like , "Oh, we ARE bad and this is our fault", so I never said anything, I didn't want anyone to know I made the teacher mad. She tolerated nobody acting unusual, I recall her publicly mocking me for a drawing I did that she thought was ugly (it sucked because I was previously very proud).

I never said anything to anybody, because this was my first foray into school and I just thought her behavior was normal, and I mean, I knew adults would yell sometimes too. My brother went on to have her two years later, and one day as adults we were discussing it and commenting on what a jerk she was. My parents never had any idea, in fact, when we had to move before my younger sister was in school my mother commented on how sad it was she couldn't have the same kindergarten teacher as us.

I personally think that if you have any feelings something is going on, you should look into it. I think having a jerky kindergarten teacher really colored my view of school and authority figures in a negative an unproductive way for the rest of my schooling.

[CarrieMF]

Has your son actually said he doesn't like it or is he just looking sad at the end of the day. Is there the possibility that something is happening on the bus too?

this is setting the tone for the years to come.

I don't think so. If he had this teacher for a couple of years in a row then yeah, but 1 "bad" teacher isn't going to ruin the next 12years of schooling.