Have you found The Explosive Child by Ross Greene to be a helpful book?

[verde]

A mom in my neighborhood described her young DS as "explosive." I've seen lots of references to this book on MDC and request that you please share your opinions. I have thought about getting it for her -- good or bad idea?

[One_Girl]

My dd isn't explosive but a Special Education teacher I took a seminar from recommended the book because it has helped her a lot. I read it and it was very helpful. It helped me do a selfcheck and reprioritize things. I think that it is probably geared towards children who are explosive because they are being forced into to many corners and not given enough choice because he teaches parents to reprioritize what they tell their kids to do into different levels of importance and to only get into it with their kids at the level of actual importance. I am not sure how it would work with a child who is explosive by nature.

[AllyRae]

I'm reading it right now and it's actually very good. He actually emphasizes that explosive children may have diagnoses of Reactive Attachment Disorder, Asperger's, ADHD, Bipolar, ODD, etc. One of my explosive children has aspergers and the other has RAD. So, I think he very much *does* focus on children who are explosive by nature. The first few chapters gave me a lot of insight into why children explosive (and it has *nothing* to do with parenting style....it's a "learning disability" where executive functioning, reasoning, and communication skills are delayed...and that's exactly the point he makes). Even as an autism behavior specialist with a master's (and all but dissertation with a PhD) in counseling, *I* learned a ton from it.

Now, most of the suggestions are not appropriate for a child as young as my daughter with RAD but using the insight he gives about WHY children can be explosive gives me ideas on ways to work with it and help her learn the coping skills she needs to have to develop an increased frustration tolerance. I would disagree with the above poster--it's not at all geared towards children who are explosive because of parenting...it's geared towards children who are explosive due to developmental reasons. (Now, I get that some people don't like labels and don't think a child has ADHD or autism or whatever, and their behavior is the result of parenting...that's exactly what the author debunks...that the behaviors are the result of a developmental delay in acquiring the skills needed to shift between his own thinking and that of others, tolerating frustration, expressing emotions, identifying emotions, delayed gratification, and being able to read other's verbal and nonverbal cues.)

[Shannie77]

I bought the book because my three year old has had such a short fuse since her little sister was born, and we moved out of our old home. I didn't finish is because I didn't find most of the information helpful for a 3 year old, but if DD continues to be explosive as she gets older I will definitely turn to it!

[verde]

Thanks for your responses. i really appreciate them.

[squimp]

I really liked it and use many of the suggestions, especially on seeing the triggers for my almost 7-yo DD's explosions.

However, I would have to be really close to someone to buy them a parenting a difficult kid kind of book. I'd probably be more comfortable recommending it than getting it for someone.

[Ellien C]

I'm reading it now for my 7.5 yo book. I would second the idea of not buying it for anyone. My sister, who is mom to an autistic child, recommended it for years and I wasn't ready to have any label on my kid. I'm really close to my sister and respect her parenting advice and everything she is going through but I really had to be ready for this book myself.

You might recommend it or ask your neighbor if she's heard of it.