Let's see, I smell bad "down there" not five minutes after a shower or bath. I have new scary moles in weird places and body hair that grows almost as fast as I can shave it. Cellulite has appeared on my bum and thighs for the first time ever (

) and my toenails look like I cut them with a hedge trimmer, because I can no longer see my feet while cutting them.
Most horrible of all? Last night I found a skin tag on one of my outer labia. I swear it must have sprung up overnight, because I
just noticed it. Google "vaginal skin tags" and weep for me. You better believe I'm having this thing removed as soon as possible. Think the midwives will do it before the baby arrives? I sure hope so, because it's simply ghastly and DH hasn't seen it yet (and I haven't told him) and man, I want to crawl under a rock.

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