Anyone else with a child who doesn't like "pretend play"?

[wagamama]

My just-turned-five-year-old DS goes has been in morning preschool for the past year. The teacher tells me that when there is an activity (like playing in the wading pool), or an "object" to play with (like blocks or origami), that DS plays well and has a lot of fun with the other kids in his class. He also likes rough-housing. But when the kids do pretend play, such as pretending to have a shop and sell things, he never joins in -- he just hangs around the edge of the game, watching them and looking kind of bored. Sometimes they do pretend play for an hour or more, so it is a problem. He is definitely a shy kid, and I worry about him not being able to socialize well. Has anyone else dealt with this issue with their child?

[4evermom]

My ds would NOT have seen the point of pretending "store". He might have liked aspects of it like operating the toy cash register but that would have been it. Now it could be that your ds is learning how the other kids play through observing, a precursor to joining them. But many kids don't really get into that kind of pretend play. My ds did like some pretend play but it had to be something he was interested in. He liked the kind with something concrete to do, something more mechanical or chore like, if that makes sense. He'd have preferred playing construction to playing house or store.

[pregnant@40]

Mine has never really liked pretend play in preschool. The materials were all wrong. They didn't have superhero outfits & weapons. "Store" or "house" never interested him; nor did the bins w/ dress-up clothes, hats and wigs. I never worried about this, for he's a very normal kid w/ a separate set of interests. He preferred Legos, cars, engineering type toys, and sports. He's now almost 6 and very creative and inquisitive, with wonderful social skills.

[wagamama]

OK, I feel better after hearing your responses. Thanks!

[nextcommercial]

When I was little, all I wanted to do was pretend play. I could not understand the point to board games. I hated organized play. Monopoly made my brain bleed.

My best friend LOVED monopoly! She'd keep the game going all summer long. She couldn't pretend play if her life depended on it.

My favorite childhood toys were dolls and Fisher Price Little People. Her's were board games like Monopoly and Payday.

We both grew up just fine, happy, normal, job holding secure adults. I work with kids, she is a financial manager.

[JayGee]

Originally Posted by pregnant@40

Mine has never really liked pretend play in preschool. The materials were all wrong. They didn't have superhero outfits & weapons. "Store" or "house" never interested him; nor did the bins w/ dress-up clothes, hats and wigs. I never worried about this, for he's a very normal kid w/ a separate set of interests. He preferred Legos, cars, engineering type toys, and sports. He's now almost 6 and very creative and inquisitive, with wonderful social skills.

This is my son exactly (except he's almost 9). He never played pretend in preschool and has no interest in being something he's not. He loves to build stuff, ride his bike, play soccer, and draw elaborate house plans . Not all kids enjoy pretend play.

[babyjaguar]

We can all remember a time in our life, child or not when we were compared to someone else and it never felt good. I don't think we consciously do it as parents but when we think our kid should be doing something it is usually because a lot of other kids their age are doing it. My son is turning 7 he has never shown any interest in team sports especially soccer (very big where I live) he never liked riding a bike or scooter (most kids do). I use to, and sometimes still do, feel like I should push him harder in these areas because they are "normal". But every once in a while I like to turn the tables.... what if my son were sitting around with his friends discussing how I hate hosting dinner parties and well, Timmy's mom loves it, or my mom just can't stand wearing make-up but all the other mom's seem to like it, what is wrong with her!? I know it seems silly, but kids are people just like us. They are who they are and they don't want to fit into a mold any more than we do.

P.S. When I was little I hated imaginary play when initiated by another and I consider myself to be very "o.k." socially. Your child sounds very bright and special.

[Crafty]

I did all kinds of pretend play when I was young, and it just blew my mind that my ds was NOT interested in the same kind of pretend play that I was. He'd grab two action figures and pretend to "battle" them all over ('guys' were his favorite toy; they still are, at age 8), but any other kind of pretend, nope. Nada. Nothing. He's only really ever done that kind of play ONCE, when he was almost 7. He pulled out a bunch of stuffed animals, and colored a box so that it looked (to him) like an airplane, and took his animals on trips. I took pictures, because I was so amazed that he was finally pretending.

All kids are different, and your kid will play the way that feels right to him/her.

[Abraisme]

Yup, my DS has never played pretend games. He plays real-life games with his toys (they all have a clear purpose), but pretty much has zero imagination for pretend-type games. Some kids have it and some don't, we always joke that he's our little accountant.