Ideas on how to limit TV time...

[Mackenzie]

My kids are far more into the TV than I would like. Essentially they turn it on when they get home and they only turn it off when told... and repeatedly ask to turn it back on...

This is the biggest problem with my oldest (12). I am looking for some ideas on how to limit it other than "please turn off the tv now" or "the tv is making me bsc". Something logical that makes sense other than "cause I said so"... Has anyone found anything that works for them?

[Alyantavid]

We have a rule of no tv during the week. So from bedtime Sunday night until they get home Friday afternoon, there's nothing, no tv or video games.

But they have free reign on weekends, though they don't usually watch more than a couple movies and Saturday morning cartoons. Can you just make it a new rule that the tv only goes on at certain times?

[velochic]

Other than homework, what do you do to engage your child(ren)? Perhaps the activities you are doing with them don't resonate with them. Let them come up with some ideas. During the school year, we just don't watch TV. There is no time (and dd is an only, AND she's not involved in a lot of extra-curricular activities). TV just doesn't fit in the few hours we have each evening. The rule is just... no TV during the week. There doesn't have to be a reason other than, "No TV."

[happysmileylady]

I don't put specific limits on tv time or computer time (which is the bigger issue in my house) but I do try to regularly put other activities in the way. I kept my dd (who is 14 now) enrolled in organized activities because if she was at softball or soccer practice, she was not on the computer, but outside and active. And for days that she didn't have practice and such, if I felt she had spent too many hours in a row on the computer or tv, I would simply ask or tell her to go do something else...rather than to NOT be on the tv. As in "R is outside looking for something to do, please go outside and she what you guys can figure out" (R is neighbor girl, same age) rather than saying "your X amount of computer time is up for the day, please get off the computer.)

But really, for the most part, I have let her self regulate with lots of options and that has seemed to work in general. At 14, between soccer practice (on the high school team now as a freshman) homework, her part time job and regular housework chores, there are few days that she's on more than half an hour or so. She just has too much real life going on. I am on the computer more than she is: (of course, I am going to be delivering a baby any day now so...)

[happysmileylady]

Originally Posted by velochic

Other than homework, what do you do to engage your child(ren)? Perhaps the activities you are doing with them don't resonate with them. Let them come up with some ideas. During the school year, we just don't watch TV. There is no time (and dd is an only, AND she's not involved in a lot of extra-curricular activities). TV just doesn't fit in the few hours we have each evening. The rule is just... no TV during the week. There doesn't have to be a reason other than, "No TV."

The thing is though, if you don't have a reason that you are teaching your children...they have no reason to maintain that rule as they get older, move out etc. That makes it more likely to result in them going the opposite direction when they are older (ie spending all their time in college vegging in front of the tv in their dorm, etc.) It's much easier to make rules stick when they aren't arbitrary.

[Mackenzie]

Originally Posted by happysmileylady

I don't put specific limits on tv time or computer time (which is the bigger issue in my house) but I do try to regularly put other activities in the way. I kept my dd (who is 14 now) enrolled in organized activities because if she was at softball or soccer practice, she was not on the computer, but outside and active. And for days that she didn't have practice and such, if I felt she had spent too many hours in a row on the computer or tv, I would simply ask or tell her to go do something else...rather than to NOT be on the tv. As in "R is outside looking for something to do, please go outside and she what you guys can figure out" (R is neighbor girl, same age) rather than saying "your X amount of computer time is up for the day, please get off the computer.)

I have tried it both ways... The "r is outside" is not working right now because the only neighbor who is close to her age, she does not want to play with (and I don't want her to either...) I will suggest she read (which used to not be an issue, she always had her nose in a book...now not so much) or do her art (she draws and is trying her hand at watercolor)... That has been getting met with whining, stomping feet, and other hissy fitty stuff... Sometimes also with the littleest, though he will go outside most of the time. Middle is no really having an issue with it atm because he has started a sort of dog walking business around the neighborhood...

But really, for the most part, I have let her self regulate with lots of options and that has seemed to work in general. At 14, between soccer practice (on the high school team now as a freshman) homework, her part time job and regular housework chores, there are few days that she's on more than half an hour or so. She just has too much real life going on. I am on the computer more than she is: (of course, I am going to be delivering a baby any day now so...)

We are *hopefully* getting her into an extracurricular activity soon. We just moved into the district and missed a lot of the stuff that starts in the summer before school she was bummed about that...

Originally Posted by happysmileylady

The thing is though, if you don't have a reason that you are teaching your children...they have no reason to maintain that rule as they get older, move out etc. That makes it more likely to result in them going the opposite direction when they are older (ie spending all their time in college vegging in front of the tv in their dorm, etc.) It's much easier to make rules stick when they aren't arbitrary.

Exactly. I don't have a problem setting limitations with my children in regards to stuff like this as I know a lot of parents here are against. However, I do want it to make sense though... Sometimes "its making my bsc" is sufficient because they know that I get over stimulated easy and are used to that.... but I don't want that to be the reason all of the time, or else they will be come desensitized to it...

[jecombs]

I tell my DD that TV is like candy or sweets... really tasty and a fun treat, but too much of it will make you sick. TV is not all that good for our minds or our bodies, so we only consume (or watch) it in moderation. DD is only 3 y.o., so I try to keep my explanations pretty simple.

Even with this explanation, we still fight the TV battle in our house every day. It's tough, because DD is not good at entertaining herself without engaging in dangerous behavior (like jumping off or climbing high furniture). I try to only turn on the TV when I'm cooking supper and need her to be still for a few minutes so I don't burn our food or set anything on fire!

[velochic]

Originally Posted by happysmileylady

The thing is though, if you don't have a reason that you are teaching your children...they have no reason to maintain that rule as they get older, move out etc. That makes it more likely to result in them going the opposite direction when they are older (ie spending all their time in college vegging in front of the tv in their dorm, etc.) It's much easier to make rules stick when they aren't arbitrary.

I disagree. Sometimes the "reason" is external and doesn't directly affect the person. "Reason" is arbitrary.

Editing because I think I'm misrepresenting myself in this conversation. The point I'm making is that the "reason(s)" is/are intangible things that kids sometimes have a hard time realizing. Explaining the health reasons to not be watching so much TV doesn't click with them. So, sometimes, even though as parents we have some really good and solid (backed by science) reasons, it's still going to sound like "because I said so" to the kids. And that is O.K. The kids don't always have to completely understand the reasons that we parent the way we do. Reasons such as "it's a waste of time, it strains the eyes, it doesn't engage the brain, it's a passive activity that leads to being a couch potato, there's no purpose to it"... are all subjective to a kid (and even to some adults who would rather let their brains rot than to give up their TV addiction). Explaining is good, but sometimes it boils down to, "because I said so" (at least in the child's eyes).

[Llyra]

I hand out tickets to each child, after church on Sunday. We keep them in envelopes on the wall, near the TV. They pay me a ticket for every show or movie they watch. I don't bicker about the length of the show-- a half-hour show costs the same as a two-hour movie. I may change that as they get older and have a more solid sense of how long things last. Mine are little, though-- 6, 3, and 3.

I don't fuss about whether it's a "long-term habit." I fully expect that after having the TV limited, they may go through a binge stage when they are older. That seems only natural to me. My priority is that they spend very little time in front of it NOW during the stages of childhood when active play is so critical to learning and healthy development.

[mommy2maya]

The thing that gets mine from in front of the tv is alternate activities. We are by no means tv free but I do try to keep them from being tuned in all their free time.

[EFmom]

We also have a no TV during the week rule. There's no time for it between homework and activities. We limit to a couple of hours on weekends. We also don't just let them turn it on at random, it has to be OK'd.

I don't believe you need to give any elaborate rationale, but our stock phrase is that "TV rots your brain and lowers your IQ."

I don't think it much matters what reasoning you give them for the rules, and because I said so works fine in my house.

[Mackenzie]

Originally Posted by Llyra

I hand out tickets to each child, after church on Sunday. We keep them in envelopes on the wall, near the TV. They pay me a ticket for every show or movie they watch. I don't bicker about the length of the show-- a half-hour show costs the same as a two-hour movie. I may change that as they get older and have a more solid sense of how long things last. Mine are little, though-- 6, 3, and 3.

I don't fuss about whether it's a "long-term habit." I fully expect that after having the TV limited, they may go through a binge stage when they are older. That seems only natural to me. My priority is that they spend very little time in front of it NOW during the stages of childhood when active play is so critical to learning and healthy development.

I did that one weekend... gave them their chores on the little post its and if they completed all of them correctly, then they could turn those in... Do you let them use those for video games too (or would you if you did those)?

[happysmileylady]

Originally Posted by velochic

Editing because I think I'm misrepresenting myself in this conversation. The point I'm making is that the "reason(s)" is/are intangible things that kids sometimes have a hard time realizing. Explaining the health reasons to not be watching so much TV doesn't click with them. So, sometimes, even though as parents we have some really good and solid (backed by science) reasons, it's still going to sound like "because I said so" to the kids. And that is O.K. The kids don't always have to completely understand the reasons that we parent the way we do. Reasons such as "it's a waste of time, it strains the eyes, it doesn't engage the brain, it's a passive activity that leads to being a couch potato, there's no purpose to it"... are all subjective to a kid (and even to some adults who would rather let their brains rot than to give up their TV addiction). Explaining is good, but sometimes it boils down to, "because I said so" (at least in the child's eyes).

Ok, yes, THAT I agree with. At first it sounded like what you were saying was that you didn't have to have a reason at all to make the rule. That's different from explaining a well thought out reason to a 3 year old, which yeah, of course doesn't work.

[Llyra]

Originally Posted by Mackenzie

I did that one weekend... gave them their chores on the little post its and if they completed all of them correctly, then they could turn those in... Do you let them use those for video games too (or would you if you did those)?

Sometimes the kids will play little games on like Starfall or PBS kids, and then I limit them to a half hour, but they're not really all that into it so much, so I haven't instituted a lot of rules surrounding the issue. DD1 has a handheld video game and I don't limit it, other than not allowing it at the dinner table, but I sometimes insist on a nice day that she go outside and play with it.

But yeah, if video games were a big issue, and I felt like my kids were spending too much time with them I would definitely apply the ticket system to their use.

[madskye]

My DD is five. We do TV Time--at 5 when I start to cook dinner she can watch two shows-one hour. She's getting bigger, but that's always been the "witching/meltdown hour" anyway, so it's not bad for her chill out for an hour at that point. Sometimes we'll all watch something else together for that half hour after dinner and the dishes before she goes to bed. But that's it. It's TV Time, we look forward to it, but it's not TV Time all the time, you know? TV is like dessert, it's a fun treat but not an all the time thing.
We used to have morning TV time, too, but now that doesn't work with kindy.

[mumkimum]

Rather than limiting total tv time, I work at getting dd here in the habit of not doing too much at one sitting (computer too) - so every hour we stop and do other things together (stuff like laundry, cooking, go outside & rollerskate or walk, or set up art stuff). The art stuff is in the same room as the tv, and we never do both (except coloring) at the same time so that's not a habit. Having things nearby seem to help transition away from the tv.

Sometimes I'll turn it off and put on music instead for the 'break'. When she was into doing kid exercise videos more often, I'd be fine with putting one on for her/us to do even if she'd been watching tv.

If its becoming a big fight, something my mom did (we were limited to 1 1/2 hours a day growing up) would be to permit it minimally longer while we also did laundry folding/sock matching/something like that that was helpful. Or sometimes we'd be asked to vacuum and clean up the room before we watched tv. Being that the the problem is mainly your oldest, some kind of solution like that might work itself in well.