For over a year, my son has had a colorful relationship with biting people.
We have said "NO", we have told him it was mean, hurtful and had him "make nice". I finally decided to implement the "we will leave the party" penalty but I'm not sure if it will help.
He has done it in frustration with US (mom and dad) like if we physically remove him from something he wants he would try to bite our arm/hand, whatever was there, and that has almost completely stopped...partly because we are trying to avoid getting into those "grab him" situations...because it renders him powerless. With friends it's almost NEVER in confrontation! He will push someone over a toy on occasion, but for the most part it goes like this:
He will see a little child, somewhat smaller than he, (usually a girl) who is not doing anything but looking at him...and he will hit her and then bite her. Almost ALWAYS a girl and usually the quiet ones. I swear it's a "don't look at me like that" response! He's 2 1/2 and he is SUCH a sweet child...but he is quite spirited in the truest sense of the word and willful. AP has SAVED us in so many ways...but I just have so much trouble managing what to do, how to handle it when it does happen. I have gotten completely polar responses from mothers of children. Everything from "it's a phase, they are toddlers!" to "You need to leave our house right now, we don't hurt people in my house". (that was today...on the FIRST day of our Nursery school co-op!) Many times I get there or am RIGHT there and stop it...and we have had a bunch of great gatherings with friends where nothing like this happened at all on his part! This was just one of times where I blinked at the wrong time. I feel HORRIBLE and the whole thing became an "issue" because of how I was treated by the homeowner and then the room seemed polarized as to how one should handle this situation...OY!
I'm ready to just dig a hole and jump in at this point. He WANT to play and have fun...but I just can't manage to be on top of him ALL the time! I helicopter parent as it is, and that goes against my ENTIRE parenting/educational philosophy!!!
The only thing left for me to do is to remove him from the whole event if it happens...regardless of other commitments.
I just don't know if this is going to work or if it's too MUCH...or age appropriate. If he were 5 and behaving like this, YES absolutely..and I would take him to counseling...but for a 2 year old..it's NOT so odd for it to happen because they have NO impulse control. I just need a better/new way to help him LEARN.
I welcome ANY constructive input at this point, PLEASE!
We have said "NO", we have told him it was mean, hurtful and had him "make nice". I finally decided to implement the "we will leave the party" penalty but I'm not sure if it will help.
He has done it in frustration with US (mom and dad) like if we physically remove him from something he wants he would try to bite our arm/hand, whatever was there, and that has almost completely stopped...partly because we are trying to avoid getting into those "grab him" situations...because it renders him powerless. With friends it's almost NEVER in confrontation! He will push someone over a toy on occasion, but for the most part it goes like this:
He will see a little child, somewhat smaller than he, (usually a girl) who is not doing anything but looking at him...and he will hit her and then bite her. Almost ALWAYS a girl and usually the quiet ones. I swear it's a "don't look at me like that" response! He's 2 1/2 and he is SUCH a sweet child...but he is quite spirited in the truest sense of the word and willful. AP has SAVED us in so many ways...but I just have so much trouble managing what to do, how to handle it when it does happen. I have gotten completely polar responses from mothers of children. Everything from "it's a phase, they are toddlers!" to "You need to leave our house right now, we don't hurt people in my house". (that was today...on the FIRST day of our Nursery school co-op!) Many times I get there or am RIGHT there and stop it...and we have had a bunch of great gatherings with friends where nothing like this happened at all on his part! This was just one of times where I blinked at the wrong time. I feel HORRIBLE and the whole thing became an "issue" because of how I was treated by the homeowner and then the room seemed polarized as to how one should handle this situation...OY!
I'm ready to just dig a hole and jump in at this point. He WANT to play and have fun...but I just can't manage to be on top of him ALL the time! I helicopter parent as it is, and that goes against my ENTIRE parenting/educational philosophy!!!
The only thing left for me to do is to remove him from the whole event if it happens...regardless of other commitments.
I just don't know if this is going to work or if it's too MUCH...or age appropriate. If he were 5 and behaving like this, YES absolutely..and I would take him to counseling...but for a 2 year old..it's NOT so odd for it to happen because they have NO impulse control. I just need a better/new way to help him LEARN.
I welcome ANY constructive input at this point, PLEASE!
and sympathy. mine didn't bite but i usually have THAT child - DD1 is high needs, spirited, whatever other terms you want to use.... If there is someone shouting "look at me!" it's mine. If the alarm button got pressed it was mine. If the new best toy got broken, mine did it. It sucks.
