Feeling smothered

[aprilmrm]

Right now, I am 33 weeks pregnant, and I stay home with my 26 m-o daughter (bear with me, I'm new at this so I don't know all the acronyms that should be used). I don't know how to describe how I am feeling other than to say I feel smothered by my toddler. I think it is normal for a toddler to follow a parent around and such, but she almost has to constantly be touching me when she can. If I sit on the couch, she sits right next to me or tries to sit on me (not much lap room left though). If I move to a different couch, she gets up and moves with me. Normally, I don't mind her need for contact that much (she has been like this always), as we sit and play together, but lately it has started to wear on me. I just feel like I need some personal space and that doesn't work for her. She pretty much won't play independently unless I am out of the room or I am standing up and busy doing something. Is this normal? I try not to push her away at all because I have a feeling that will only cause her to cling more, but at the same time, I am going a bit mad. Last week it got so bad I ended up standing against a wall to get some personal space and crying, which made me feel like a wretched mom for not being able to cope. I really want to fully enjoy these last weeks of time with just my daughter, but I'm struggling. Am I strange to feel this way about my daughter just wanting to be close to me? Has anyone else experienced this? Any advice on how to gently encourage her to play independently even when I am in the room without hurting her feelings? Help.

[YayJennie]

Aww mama, I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time I am also pregnant with a toddler, and, although I don't have the same personal space issue, I certainly am having new issues because I have less patience, am more exhausted, and just in general things are different emotionally and physically. It sounds completely normal that your toddler is wanting more physical touch, especially if you are needing more space right now. She's probably aware of all the changes going on, and needing some reassurance that you're still there for her. Have you talked to her a lot about the new baby and what to expect? Has she expressed any fears or worries or concerns to you, directly or indirectly?

I would definitely recommend taking care of yourself and getting your needs met, so you can meet your daughter's needs as well. Is there someone who could take your daughter for just a little bit each day so you can get some "you" time? Even just for a half an hour to take a bath by yourself...it sounds like you really need it. And having that alone time will make time with your daughter much more meaningful in your last few weeks while she's still an only child.

Check out the due date clubs for more woman who might be in your exact situation. If you're due in November I'll see you in our due date club!

And, for what it's worth, I hardly ever use any of the acronyms, so don't feel left out just because you don't know them all! Welcome and I hope to see you more around the boards!

[EzzysMom]

I'm so right there with you. My day hasn't even started yet (DH hasn't left yet) and I already want it to be over.