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post #1 of 16
9/8/10 at 5:54pm
Thread Starter 
Hi Mamas,

I am OpenMama and I am waiting the UC of my first child any day now (I have also UP'd this pregnancy)! I was "due" the 27th, but I know that first pregnancies often go much longer than the EDD. I am a little uncomfortable, as of now I have gained about 55 lbs, but nothing too terrible. I am trying to be patient in knowing that all babies come when they are ready.

As it gets closer to my birthing time, I do have a few slight fears that I can't seem to shake. I feel like they are maybe holding me back and that the baby will decide to come when I have fully removed all fears and inhibitions. Do you think it's normal to go into childbirth with lingering fears? I am really meditating on what is holding me back and trying to do the work to get through the fear. I do not have a family that supports my choice to UP/UC - so when I try to ask my mom about birth stuff it usually just turns into her becoming upset.

Wish I had found this site sooner.

OM
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post #2 of 16
9/9/10 at 2:39am
Congratulations!

Nice to meet you! You have guts girl! The kind of guts I wish I could have had when I had my first. Choosing to uc is not easy, choosing to UP is even harder, doing that without a good support system, and with your first child is dmn near impossible.

yeah, its very normal to have fears. they can be good for you. use them to keep on improving your knowledge of birth, and solutions to all those things that you are afraid of.

I know how you feel. if it wasn't for the awesome ladies on this site my 3 youngest kids would probably have be wrenched out of my body with a vacuum 2 weeks too early like my oldest was, instead of landing in their daddy's hands 4 weeks past their "due dates" happy and healthy at home.

welcome!
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post #3 of 16
9/9/10 at 11:14am
I'm excited for you. It's normal to have fears. I'm assuming you have done some research, the more research on how to handle difficult situations I think the more confident you will be.

If you don't already have it, here's a copy of "Emergency Childbirth" in PDF.
http://go.mothering.com/?id=848X1562...%3Ft%3D1260457

HTH and just remember, when you go into labor and you get toward the end, you might be afraid that you can't handle it (transition), but really almost always, you can.
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post #4 of 16
9/9/10 at 12:28pm

Hey there sister Om...

i completely relay to what you are saying and am a newbie here as well.
it is quite though when our mamas arent very supportive but i believe we can gain strength from each other a sort of women powerizing companionship.
ive got my fears too but slowly and steadily i solve them or move them into a better light so i can eventually be using them and not allowing them to use me.
great to know there are more of us
all the love

O
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post #5 of 16
9/9/10 at 1:56pm
There is always a special place in my heart for mama's that choose a UC for their first! We had a terrible time finding support on our decision the first time around... now it's sort of expected of us and not talked about too much
Everyone and I do mean EVERYONE has some sort of fear - it's normal, it's human... I do believe that it's important to address that fear and work through it.... ask questions, seek answers, read birth stories (positive ones of course) visualize your birth and check the UC forums often! we're here for you - WELCOME
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post #6 of 16
9/13/10 at 8:48pm
Thread Starter 
Well... I'm still here. No baby yet, trying to be patient. I am now 17 days past my due date. I know this isn't abnormal for a first baby. I'm feeling huge and it's been hot this week. Trying so hard to just allow things to move ahead when the baby is good and ready, but it's getting harder. My neighbor, was was due 9-20 just had her baby yesterday.

My husband asked me this past weekend how long I would let things go on like this, and I told him that I couldn't stay pregnant forever. He asked if there was any risk in just waiting it out. I told him not as much as going for an induction, which I am pretty sure any doctor would insist upon at this point. I am not sure what I will do if this does go on forever. I do not have a midwife or an OBGYN anyway, so it's not like I can call and try to explain. Plus - it won't go on forever, right?!

Do you have a cutoff on how long you'd wait before "doing something?" I have tried castor oil the past two nights to no avail, and have been using RRL tea and evening primrose for about three weeks.
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post #7 of 16
9/13/10 at 9:47pm
Some babies need more time to cook and due dates can sometimes be off (maybe you have a long cycle?), so as long as baby is moving and you are feeling OK--relaxing, staying hydrated and talking to your baby will be helpful. Stress keeps adrenaline in your system and adrenaline will inhibit the oxytocin your body needs to start opening for baby--so get some juicy vibes going with your hubby, relax and nurture yourself!

EFT can be helpful to release any remaining fears. PM me, if you want some help with this!
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post #8 of 16
9/13/10 at 10:54pm
Oh girl, you are an inspiration to me. I admire you for doing this your first time around. Are you sure on your dates? I agree with others as long as you are still feeling baby move and kick and feeling ok you should be fine. Go with your gut, if you feel you need to do something think about it and do what you think. Are you having any prodromal labor or BH at all? You really cant stay pregnant forever, baby will come soon!
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post #9 of 16
9/15/10 at 2:11am
Dear Open mama!!

patience patience patience dear woman.

remember the baby will come in good time
calm his father down and dont let anyone make worry you about it
as long as you can feel him/her moving everything is fine.
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post #10 of 16
9/17/10 at 5:22pm
sending good thoughts your way. You are really an inspiration to me. If I ever do get pregnant...not sure I ever will at this point...I intend to UC as well and this would be my first. I hope you are able to stay relaxed and calm and know that baby will come when baby is ready.

blessings to you!!!
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post #11 of 16
9/17/10 at 6:54pm
Hello! I had a UC for my first and it was such a wonderful experience. If you want to talk shop about unassisted labor PM me and I'll send you my phone number.

Also, acupuncture is pretty useful in getting labors started that are late if you are getting antsy.
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post #12 of 16
9/21/10 at 12:37am
How are you doing? I hope things are going well!
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post #13 of 16
9/23/10 at 2:34pm
Thread Starter 
Well, I didn't get my UC.

On the 15th I was feeling really poorly, 19 days past my due date. My husband said he thought it was time to see someone, and for some reason I agreed to go to the hospital. I called a friend whose sister works in postpartum at our local hospital and she talked to a doctor who agreed to see me in L & D. I cried all the way there, knowing they'd never let me leave without a fight.

When I got there, the doctor had an ultrasound done which he said showed a "very large, malpositioned" baby and a grade 3 placenta (meaning, it is at the end of its life and not working well anymore.) Of course this was extremely upsetting to me. He was kind and patient, but I could totally tell he was exasperated with all of my answers - no, I hadn't been tested for GD, no, I had never had an ultrasound, no I didn't know my group B strep status, etc. etc.

He said that with my weight gain (over 65 lbs) I probably had undiagnosed GD, which seems wrong to me because I felt great most of my pregnancy and have no history of diabetes in my family. Anyway, he said that I should come back in the morning for a C/S and I flat out refused. There was no way I was going to consent to a C/S after planning a UC the whole pregnancy. So we agreed to induce in the morning, which I did. My cervix was thin and soft so I came in in the morning and started pitocin, crying the whole time over my lost birth.

After five hours, I was 3 cm. After 7 hours I was 4 cm. After 10 hours I was 6.5 and the doctor said I was not progressing as he would like to see. But my baby's heart rate was normal so I carried on. Oh how it hurt! After 16 hours of labor I was closing in on 9 cm and I knew I could make it. When I was 10 I felt very pushy and I pushed for over 2 hours, in every position. I was howling and screaming so bad I think I scared the nurses. After two hours of pushing they said I had 20 more minutes before a C/S. The doctor said the head had not descended at all and was still at -2 station. I pushed my hardest those 20 minutes but then I was told it was time for a C/S. I begged them not to do it. The doctor said he would compromise and have them place an epidural so that I could rest, and give me one more hour to get the baby out as long as the heart rate was okay. So I had an epidural and it was the most devastating thing, even though yes, my pain stopped and I did rest. I slept for about 40 minutes and I guess my body went on laboring without me. They woke me up to try pushing again, but the baby would not move past a -2 station. I finally agreed to a C/S after 22 hours of labor.

When they cut my baby out of me I could see right away that he was very big but honestly I was so tired and they had given me some morphine or something I just wanted to sleep. When I woke up I was alone with a nurse and I screamed "WHERE IS MY BABY!?" And she said that he was okay and with my husband in the NICU!!! The last place I wanted him. I started crying hysterically and the nurse said that the baby was stable but having some blood sugar issues and that he had signs of being postdates that they wanted to monitor. She sent the NICU doc in to talk to me.

The baby was over 11 lbs. He was stuck in my pelvis and his blood sugar was too low. They had given him something to bring his blood sugar up, and they said he would be released to me once it stabilized. It was 5 hours before they gave me my baby. Anyway, he is great now. We stayed in the hospital the full 3 days and we are home now adjusting. I am really sad I didn't get my birth, but I am in love with my baby. I don't think I had GD but the doctors say I almost certainly did. Whatever. He is nursing well and I am glad he's here.
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post #14 of 16
9/23/10 at 2:45pm
Wow. Hugs momma. From the sounds of baby, it does sound like you had GD. I have it and I don't feel any different at all. But my numbers are telling me and the doctors entirely different. How is your recovery going? Also, I'm glad to hear that nursing is going well! Take your time to process everything and enjoy your baby. I can imagine the look on the dr's face when you told him you did your own prenatal care and didn't do all the "required" testing! LOL.
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post #15 of 16
9/23/10 at 3:02pm
**HUGS** That reminds me A LOT of my first birth. I did have some prenatal care but baby came out really big they said my pelvis didnt work etc, and it ended in a c-section. I am so sorry but rest up and things will get better. I am glad baby is doing well for you now! And bravo for you to let your body labor before consenting to a c-section. Any labouring is good for baby!
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post #16 of 16
9/25/10 at 8:23am

Congratulations !!

i am so happy to hear that even though and after all it sounds like you have recovered it ,strong mama to a strong big baby!

all the best
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