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21 toddler won't talk about baby/birth....

post #1 of 11
9/8/10 at 6:00pm
Thread Starter 
I want to get him excited about being a big brother but I don't know how! I'm 33 weeks and he gets mad or ignores us when we talk about the baby or show him my tummy, etc. We're planning a hb and we want him to be there for the birth part. It's so frustrating. Anyone BTDT?
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post #2 of 11
9/8/10 at 6:04pm
Have you let him know how he can be involved with the baby? Does he like to help?

There are some good books out there aimed at toddlers, we loved "We Have a Baby" by Cathryn Falwell.
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post #3 of 11
9/8/10 at 6:07pm
My current 3yo has no interest or investment in this baby at all, which is a huge switch from my previous 3yos, who were ALL about the new arrival.

I'm really not sweating it. They'll wind up being the best of friends, amicable siblings, or sworn enemies at some point. I don't think that will be decided today.
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post #4 of 11
9/8/10 at 6:09pm
Maybe he's already getting jealous. Maybe you could try coaxing it out of him how he feels about the baby that's coming.
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post #5 of 11
9/8/10 at 6:10pm
my DS was around that age when I got pregnant with his sister... so by the time I had her he was 2 1/2...

at first he really couldnt care less but I think honestly he just didnt understand (perhaps a bit too young?) but as time passed and he started to understand what was going on better he got attatched... to the point that even now at ages 7 and 5, she is his princess!

(and funny enough, now he comes home from school every day asking if THIS little girl is in her crib or still in my tummy... despite that earlier in the pregnancy when we found out its another girl he was ANGRY!)
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post #6 of 11
9/8/10 at 6:22pm
My first was 21 months when my 2nd was born. I was all prepared for jealously and sibling rivalry, but she was very indifferent, even after the baby was here. I think it's normal. It would be nice if your first one was excited, but it is a little early for them embrace a concept, especially since your baby isn't here yet. I would just talk about the baby as I'm sure you have been, read some new baby books, and just see what happens. Like us, maybe it won't be "exciting", but it can be a very smooth transition.
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post #7 of 11
9/8/10 at 7:40pm
Thread Starter 
He's not that verbal yet so I don't think it would help to try to talk to him about why he's not excited...
I guess I'll just have to go with the flow huh? Does anyone have any other book recommendations?

Thanks for the advice!
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post #8 of 11
9/8/10 at 10:07pm
My son turned 2 in May and is still oblivious. I'm due in 4.5 weeks.
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post #9 of 11
9/9/10 at 2:30am
My 21 mo DD talks about the "smaaaaaaaaaal baby" daily since we took her with us to 12 week ultrasound. Whenever she sees the u/s pic on the fridge, she says "mommy hospital tummy check" and then pats my tummy & kisses it. I don't think she knows it will actually come out someday though! I'm due in March when DD will be 27 months so we'll see.
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post #10 of 11
9/9/10 at 3:14am
my first turned 2 the day before his brother was born. really couldn't care less. he hugged him and all that but really didn't bother too much.

we read ltos of big brother books to him and he seemed okay with it. he'd touch the belly but for being excited not really i think they might be too young at that age to really conceptualize it
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post #11 of 11
9/9/10 at 4:40am
I don't think I can say much other than the usual type of suggestions.

As for books,We like "Waiting For Baby" by Rachel Fuller. It's part of a little series of 4 books about a new sibling, from Mommy being pregnant, The new baby arriving, and life with the baby. It's nice, the first book shows things like an ultrasound, and Mommy resting while Daddy and child make dinner, the child staying with grandparents while the Mom and Dad go to the hospital. The later books show common scenarios, both good and frustrating(I can make the baby laugh...why does the baby cry so much?)

We just talk about the baby coming to live with us soon and talk about what babies are like-she's gonna sleep, poop, and cry and not much else for a while! We tell him if he wants to he can help take care of her. He's sweet, every couple days he'll say "Want to hold the girl" or "Want to hold the sister"...he was adamant from the get-go it was a girl, and would hold my tummy and say "make a girl!" And we got him his first train set-which will be a gift from the baby to him once we're all back home(it's his biggest gift to date!).

We'll see how cute it all is when he realizes the baby will be sticking around for more than a few days...lol.
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