I want to rip out all my hair! Help with my 2 year old!

[mamaofthree]

Ok my baby who is now 2 is a totally typical two year old. Which wouldn't be too bad except that my other two kids where not like this at all. I am at a loss as to what to do with him or for him.
He is so moody. Iknow that sounds funny, but he is either pissed off and crying or frusterated it seems all the time. I am really trying to be intune with him, and I do understand that his hitting and angery out bursts are because he is really at a loss as to what to say. So we do try to help him find his words, and use less violent means to get what he wants. But it is so wearing me out. It is all day long. A constant battle about which diaper to wear or not wear. No day he likes something the next day he doesn't. And the last few days have just about made me insane. I am going out with my dd today for a while just her and me, and I am GRATEFUL not to be with him. Which I feel terrible about, because usaully I hate leaing him. But now I just want to run from the house.
And the worst part is that everyone in the house is feeding off this bad energy. Everyone seems crabby and loud and moody. It is making me CRAZY!
Any advice? I know his behavior is age appropriate, but I still don't like it!

H

[Red]

Try only two choices. As in "DS, would you like to wear your blue sweater or your red one to the store." Not, "We are going to the store, do you want..." Or, "would you like some apple or some grapes to eat in the car today?" and not, "we're going out in the car, do you want..."

I love 2 yo, which most folks don't. and I think it's due to the 2 choice method, saying "You need to..." instead of 'would you, or please". I dont know why that works, but try it. If he balks, put some emphasis on 'need' as if it isn't up to you. I know this sounds lame, but the kid is two! Lame works! I had a son who woul dresist anything. But if I said , "We need to go to the store now." Or "we need to pick up the blocks now" he would. Worked for years. The other trick is to tire them out. Playground, long walks, running around in the fresh air, tumbling in the snow, things where he expends more energy than you do.

Patience. I once knew a woman who said she prayed for patience every day. Another firend told her that was why she was getting tested everyday. God was showing her how much patience she had!

[BusyMommy]

Great advice. I agree!

And, yes, wear him out. I have a friend whose son sounds just like yours and she's been afraid to get together w/us b/c my toddlers are so mellow. So, we just started going out and yep, he's a handful, but he's gotten better each trip. And, we wear them out--hours of outdoor activities. Kids really need time to just run and yell and know no bounds Then, hopefully, their bodies will be calmer and more able to listen once inside again.

Plus, I just discovered a little secret... ...I let my kids watch a half hour video every afternoon. Ya know, for half hour, the house is 100% quiet as they watch Bob the BUilder.

Good luck!

[its_our_family]

Your 2yo sounds like MY 2yo!!

He was such a sweet little boy until jsut recently. I'll take the advice given here adn try it out. I like the idea of the 2 choice mthod and the "need" instead of "want".

Does your ds behave better for your dh? Mine does...it drives me nuts that dh can do the exact same thing the exact same wya and it works for him but not for me!

[mamaofthree]

We do take him out. That boy wears US out! Even his bro and sis. By the end of a day we are just pooped!:LOL
And he acts the same way to dh as to me. (Thank goodness, then I don't look like a freak!)

This weekend he freaked about every diaper change, yet shows no real interest in using the toilet. We do let him have naked time, and such, but it is driving me nuts. He is down to a hand full of diapers he will let us put on him, otherwise he is freaking out until you take it off, and you never know which diaper will make him freak.
When he gets frusterated he hits, bites, kicks. I just can't believe this little sweet baby of mine is like a demond!
We had a birthday party to go to yesterday and I told my oldest son, when ds#2 starts getting crazy we are going to go. He did really good for about 2 hours then we left, because he started trying to pinch other kids. So I scooped him up and said "You ready to go home?" and he said "yes". I think that is what I need to watch for. When he has had enough. With three kids at home (soon to be 4!) I really need to watch when he has had enough stimulation and give him a break.
We did try to 2 options thing and also told him when we "needed" to do something. I also have been trying to get him to take some breathes and pull back from what ever it is that is frusterating him and try and get him to talk. (ie "You are really upset about not being able to do_________" and then he says something like "Yeah, I mad!" "Do you want to hit a pillow?" "yeah" (usually he has been hitting or trying to hit one of us) and that seems to help some too)

Thank you all!

H