Help, my kids has shut down about learning?

[mamamoogs]

ok, so my dd is 6 i registered her a 1st grader, she has totally shut down as far as schooling, this happened back in march so it was recommended we take a break or even try unschooling, so here we are now it is sept, i guess you can consider us unschoolers, we have no curriculum or structered lessons, which i am fine with but my dd refuses to do anything that is related to learning (structered learning)


I imagine she is learning other things everyday. She does not read yet, and will not let me read her a book, gets up and walks away, if we see something on the news i try to show her were it is happening on the map and she refuses to look or pay attention. if we are doing something fun, like in disney on a pirate ride and we even mention any history info about pirates she changes the subject,

the list goes on and on about anything that she may think we are trying to teach her. I mean really a book, she wont even let me read her a book. what did I do, why is this happening... Did i push to much last year? I imagine I did, but now how do i fix it, how do i get her excited about learning again? sorry to go on but i am very upset with my self and worried about my dd and how i am going to help her want to learn again.

she is in ballet once a week, and we go to a homeschool co op once a week so she is around kids a couple times a week , please any advice you can give me, would be great! thanks mamas

[moominmamma]

What does she like? What is she passionate about? How is she spending her time? What is engaging her day to day right now?

Rather than trying to lure her into learning that originates from your ideas about what she should be learning, I would simply support what she's doing.

For instance, if she sits around on her bedroom floor playing with Playmobil all day, get her a Playmobil catalog to drool over. Express enthusiasm for the scene she has set up, go run and get your camera and take a picture of it. Ask her whether the queen is nice or mean to her subjects. Does the knight have a name? What's he doing to the pirate?

In other words, enter into the world of things that already engages her, rather than trying to engage her in different things that interest you. I guarantee there's learning in that world of hers already. Support it, not with your own ideas of what she should or could be learning, but with appreciation for what she's already doing.

I would guess that sensitive observation of what she's naturally doing in the course of her days, and genuine appreciation expressed for those pursuits, will make you feel better because you'll see the value in those things. Unschooling is as much about the parent as the child. If you feel better, your support of her learning will naturally become more about her agenda and less about yours. And if she believes that you are supporting and trusting her learning agenda, whatever it is, she'll gradually become more open to suggestions you make, because she'll no longer be afraid that you're trying to wrest control over her life and learning away from her.

Miranda

[WCM]

When my kids were that age and I tried to 'teach' them anything ("let's go look it up!") they'd just tune me out. They knew I was putting on a persona, as did I. I stopped. I put things were they can find them (maps are low on the walls, all over the house there are local maps, bigger ones, magnetic aphabet boards, bookshelves) everything in their reach. They may sit in front of one while they brush their teeth, because they know they will not be asked to 'learn'. So they can then actually learn on their own. They learned to read by driving in the car, they'd ask me what signs said, etc . . .

The key is first accepting in our own minds that everyone learns differently, has different interests, and learns things at diff rates and times. AND accepting that not all kids *want* to learn their times tables, or read maps, etc . . . Unschooling is that glorious freedom to learn what interests YOU, and only YOU. How cool.


I have found that to unschool, *I* need to learn a lot about learning, about myself and all my preconceptions about my kids, homeschooling, and learning at large. And let it all go. I have benefited so much from all this thinking I've had to do, and it has kept me out of my kids way so they can do their own things.

[Starflower]

I'm going to suggest that you read "Homeschooling Our Children, Unschooling Ourselves" by Allison McKee if you haven't already. She is a trained educator who chose to unschool her kids. The book details her journey. She discusses how her kids learned things in their own way and also how she struggled at times with "educational" ideas about how things "should" be and how she dealt with it. I find it reassuring when I am feeling uncertain.