I think the nightweaning experience seriously depends on the temperament of the child. It's hard to read the posts that say "oh, it worked for us" when you have a ruthlessly persistent and determined child who just won't take the fact that they aren't getting milk on demand. That was my child. I still have not succeeded in nightweaning, although a few things have improved for us.
A few months before my son turned 2 I decided to try nightweaning. I nursed him down for sleep and then at his first waking nursed him until he started to drift off again and unlatched him and said "milks are going to sleep, night night" and he awoke completely, started screaming at the top of his lungs, got up out of bed and walked all the way across the room in the dark and stood there screaming and screaming. I tried to go comfort him and he pushed me away. When he finally calmed enough to nurse again, of course I nursed him.
A few months later I tried the NCSS techniques, and he actually had a sleep regression. He started absolutely refusing to go to sleep for hours and hours. This lasted about a month.
At some point, in desperation, I started sleeping by myself in another room. DH does not do very much night parenting, definitely is not willing to learn to put DS to sleep without handing him to me for nursing, so I was on my own even though at this point he and DS were still cosleeping while I was across the house sleeping alone. DS began sleeping really well! But as a long term thing it was not the solution for us. I still had to sleep with the monitor on and get up to nurse him back down when he'd wake (which for most nights was not very often, thank goodness).
The next thing we tried was getting him a twin mattress and putting it near the foot of our bed. I was able to come out of self banishment and he transitioned to his own bed very well.
But, the most amazing thing was that someone told me about the counting technique. Apparently it comes from the NCSS but it was not in the book I read, which was the Toddlers/Preschoolers version. You say something like "We'll stop nursing in 10 seconds", and if it's at a time when you want the child to sleep you say something like "We'll stop nursing in 10 seconds, and then I'd like you to roll over and go to sleep" Then start counting as slowly or quickly as you wish. I have no idea why, but this works in a way that nothing else worked. Using it, we have actually been able to begin the process of breaking the nursing to sleep habit. DS is extremely responsive to the counting! And it's a calm, pleasant counting. Most of the time he rolls over before I even reach #3! And he honestly tries to sleep. Sometimes he can, sometimes not. If not, we nurse a little more and then try again. Over time, it has become easier and easier and he's become better at putting himself to sleep.
It's not total nightweaning, but it has made the situation much more tolerable for me and maybe in time it will help us with the total nightweaning. In any case it eliminated most of the drama that we were experiencing with my other attempts and I get to feel a little less exhausted by our nursing relationship. He's getting his 2 year molars which has definitely disturbed his sleep a lot these past couple of weeks, but other than that, he is often sleeping either through the night or waking only once to nurse and then going back to sleep when I ask him to.
Good luck in finding the method that will work for you and your child. It can really be an adventure with these persistent children!
A few months before my son turned 2 I decided to try nightweaning. I nursed him down for sleep and then at his first waking nursed him until he started to drift off again and unlatched him and said "milks are going to sleep, night night" and he awoke completely, started screaming at the top of his lungs, got up out of bed and walked all the way across the room in the dark and stood there screaming and screaming. I tried to go comfort him and he pushed me away. When he finally calmed enough to nurse again, of course I nursed him.
A few months later I tried the NCSS techniques, and he actually had a sleep regression. He started absolutely refusing to go to sleep for hours and hours. This lasted about a month.
At some point, in desperation, I started sleeping by myself in another room. DH does not do very much night parenting, definitely is not willing to learn to put DS to sleep without handing him to me for nursing, so I was on my own even though at this point he and DS were still cosleeping while I was across the house sleeping alone. DS began sleeping really well! But as a long term thing it was not the solution for us. I still had to sleep with the monitor on and get up to nurse him back down when he'd wake (which for most nights was not very often, thank goodness).
The next thing we tried was getting him a twin mattress and putting it near the foot of our bed. I was able to come out of self banishment and he transitioned to his own bed very well.
But, the most amazing thing was that someone told me about the counting technique. Apparently it comes from the NCSS but it was not in the book I read, which was the Toddlers/Preschoolers version. You say something like "We'll stop nursing in 10 seconds", and if it's at a time when you want the child to sleep you say something like "We'll stop nursing in 10 seconds, and then I'd like you to roll over and go to sleep" Then start counting as slowly or quickly as you wish. I have no idea why, but this works in a way that nothing else worked. Using it, we have actually been able to begin the process of breaking the nursing to sleep habit. DS is extremely responsive to the counting! And it's a calm, pleasant counting. Most of the time he rolls over before I even reach #3! And he honestly tries to sleep. Sometimes he can, sometimes not. If not, we nurse a little more and then try again. Over time, it has become easier and easier and he's become better at putting himself to sleep.
It's not total nightweaning, but it has made the situation much more tolerable for me and maybe in time it will help us with the total nightweaning. In any case it eliminated most of the drama that we were experiencing with my other attempts and I get to feel a little less exhausted by our nursing relationship. He's getting his 2 year molars which has definitely disturbed his sleep a lot these past couple of weeks, but other than that, he is often sleeping either through the night or waking only once to nurse and then going back to sleep when I ask him to.
Good luck in finding the method that will work for you and your child. It can really be an adventure with these persistent children!
