Seriously, How do you do it?

[TSomm]

Okay, maybe I just need to vent a bit. But I *only* have 1 child, aged 7 months. She's a handful. I don't work outside the house, but I do have some work responsibilities that I handle here at home (DH and I have our own business). But I can't seem to juggle baby's needs, keep up with the housework, get work work stuff done, and still have some time to myself.

A mother friend of mine crafts constantly, something I loved to do and wish I had time to do. Do I just have a high needs child or what? Why is it I always seem to be behind while others have time for "fun" stuff? Grr.

How do people do it with multiple children? My slogan is one and done! I can not imagine my stress level with another child.

Sorry, in addition, sleep has been fleeting the last three nights due to teething issues.

I feel a bit better writing that out. I'd delete this all but maybe there's another mom that feels the same... *deep breath*

[jenfl]

It gets easier. At that age, they need you for EVERYTHING. And just when she can start to be more mobile, she'll start freaking out when you go away from her. And it'll feel like it will never end.

But it will. At 2, you'll see the start of the independence. At 3, she'll be heading off on her own adventures.

I know it's hard with the first one, but try to take a deep breath, accept that she's going to need a lot from you for a while, and trust that, soon enough, it will feel like that time rushed by.

[Knitting Mama]

I think that the way you're feeling now is a big reason why a lot of families wait 3-4 years between kids. Like Jen said, as they grow they gain a lot of independence and you are not needed for absolutely everything. I always thought that I wanted to have my kids super close together, but now that Cecilia is here, I'm thinking that I want to wait, even though that means I'll be in my mid 30's when we start for #2. But not only does she need me for everything, but I am loving all the time I spend with her and I really don't want to think of shortchanging both her and the next baby.

[Tway]

I hear you. I'm still off work, and yet it feels like I can barely do some cleaning, cooking and food shopping to keep the household together. I'm STILL pretty sure I only want the one, mostly because I can't imagine doing this all over again. The sleep deprivation was so bad, so bad... How do you manage it when you also have a toddler to look after???

However, things have gotten better .DD i almost 11 months, and she can play a little on her own now. We go out to the park and now she can sit for a bit in the swing. I go for coffee and she points at things and smiles at people. She interacts and we "communicate" (pointing, sounds, gestures, etc.) and that makes the day so much better. It feels like we have some back and forth, and it's fun to watch her learn. I think things really started changing around 10 months for me.

I'm still on the "one and your done" bandwagon, and I don't know if I"ll ever change my mind. But trust that it gets better. Hang in there!

[Hannah32]

Originally Posted by Cecilia's Mama

I think that the way you're feeling now is a big reason why a lot of families wait 3-4 years between kids.

nak

amen amen amen. this little bugger has got to be at least in preschool before I gear up for another. my hubby would like another right away, but unless he grows himself a uterus, it ain't happening.

[confustication]

We have three- the oldest is 8, and the youngest two are 25 months and 11 months. I do (occasionally) have time for some 'fun' stuff- sewing etc, but certainly not on a regular basis. I try to make sure we get up to a completely clean house so there's not huge pressure to stay on top of it. Other than that- you kind of do stuff with the kid/kids around and underfoot- including work stuff and house work.

It will get easier, but the first bit is all about survival.

[KellyandBean]

Don't worry you aren't alone. Fruit flies are taking over my kitchen :/

[braidmama]

I am right there with all of you, as well. It really boggles my mind when I see mom's with more than 1 child, not to mention multiple babies of the same age. How DO they do it? I feel like I am in soothe and comfort mode constantly, but I know I'm gonna miss all of this someday... I was thinking I'd also want another one fairlysoon after ds but I agree that now that he's in my life there is absolutely no way I could handle another one anytime soon. A friend of mine had her dd 5 days before my ds was born (he's 5 months) and she is already 14 weeks pregant again! She is super laid back (total opposite of me) and also a sahm for the time being so I think she will be able to handle it in a much calmer way. I'm definitely missing being pregnant though!

[braidmama]

ALSO! Can I just say: soulemama.com. She is insane! Total role model, right there. I absolutely love love love love reading her blog and books, and am constantly inspired. However, I do not have any free time in my day to indulge in any of those awesome things like she does. She also has 4 which is amazing and mind blowing. Maybe it gets easier when you're more of a veteran mama? Any takers on this?

[Peony]

I have 3. Easier, yes and no. Easier in the sense that I don't sweat the small stuff, kids eating cookies for breakfast, eh, cool! That means I don't have to cook. I certainly don't think about my 1y eats, and some days I realize I ahven't given him food most of the day, but rather just nursed. Harder because duh, I have 3 small children who always need something!

I look back to when I had only one and I while I thought I was so busy and overwhelmed, I do SOO much more now with 3 kids then I did back then. BUT I couldn't of done then what I do now, the more kids I have, the more routines I create. Meals are planned a week ahead of time, I laid out everything I will need to tomorrow for 3 children, school, after school activities this morning because I had am jampacked afternoon starting in 30 minutes until 9pm tonight. I cooked dinner yesterday for today. Highly scheduled is what I have to be to do it. And on that note off to make a snack for 3 children before I have to dash out to do school pickup, dance, gymnastics, and mom's night out.

[TSomm]

Thanks ladies.

I think I'll put another vote in for the "I'm just not into babies" pile. I baby sat all the time when I was a teen, but they were always toddlers and up. I can handle it them. I'll just survive until DD gets older and try to laugh everytime my husband says he wants a son.

[lizzylou]

I could have written this 13 months ago. Before I had kids I was sure that I would someday have three of them. After my son was born, I suddenly understood why some people only have one! My son was definitely high needs.

Now he's 2 and the difference is night and day. I do have free time to do things that I couldn't before - I can sew while he plays nearby, cook dinner, clean, I can even read a book while he plays in the backyard. So, it does get better. For us things started getting easier once he was mobile, and then later on much easier after around 18 months. Hang in there!

[JessicaS]

Sometimes it can be really hard.

Children are really different as far as needs go, dd was a pretty easy baby as long as she is being held (and she did insist on being held ) but ds is quite a little mover and likes to get into everything.

once they get older it does get easier.

[busymama77]

I have 2. DS1 was an easy baby but we still waited a while to have the 2nd one - they are a little over 4 years apart. DS2 was more high needs in the beginning - a bit more difficult to figure out, if you will.

But he's 6 months old now and all seems to be going well. He sleeps well. Eats well. Is happy and thriving. But I will say, that if it wasn't for my carrier (Action Baby Carrier - similar to an Ergo - but prettier ), I couldn't get a lot done while DH is traveling and my 4yo is running around the house like a crazy man!

[madskye]

Some babies do like to sleep, and that makes it a heck of a lot easier. Is your baby teething, too? That was the worst here, I remember being so tired then!

[Hannah32]

Originally Posted by TSomm

Thanks ladies.

I think I'll put another vote in for the "I'm just not into babies" pile. I baby sat all the time when I was a teen, but they were always toddlers and up. I can handle it them. I'll just survive until DD gets older and try to laugh everytime my husband says he wants a son.

I agree and don't think I'm into this stage. I kind of knew that when I was pregnant, that I wasn't going to love the baby thing and I was right. Love the kid, but not the age. Seems like a common thing.....

[Catubodua]

i'm so with you. i have memories of how my house used to be clean. now it's a struggle to get basic laundry and dishes done, i can't imagine keeping it as clean as i want. crafting? time for reading a good book? ha! and, sleep is something of a distant memory...

[Callimom]

One day (when you have another) you will look back and wonder what you did with all your time when you had just one infant to care for.
It's all about perspective. You are in the thick of it now but it won't be that way forever. You're also learning right now - which takes a lot of time and mental energy. When you have 2 or more you don't need to be as focused on the same things because you'll have your sea legs and some confidence that comes with the btdt experiences.

My kids are close in age (4 kids in 5 years, twins in the middle) and I don't regret having them closely spaced. My house still needs a good cleaning but thats pretty low on my priority list.

hang in there.
It gets easier
Karen

[Violet2]

This is what mother's helpers were invented for.

Babies have infinite needs. Just when you think you've got it all under control, their needs expand and take over again.

It gets better around 2 as pp have mentioned.


After age 1 will be better than the infant year too, but you still won't get much freedom.

Just try hard to really enjoy this and pay attention so you remember all this (in all its glory ) because you forget as fast as they grow.

My baby is almost 3 and I feel like I don't remember anything from the first year.

V

[rainbow_mandala]

Originally Posted by Hannah32

nak

amen amen amen. this little bugger has got to be at least in preschool before I gear up for another. my hubby would like another right away, but unless he grows himself a uterus, it ain't happening.