or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Childhood and Beyond › Education › Learning at Home and Beyond › Unschooling › Other kids getting DD (2.5) excited about school.. help
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Other kids getting DD (2.5) excited about school.. help - Page 2

post #21 of 59
Fo shizzle, Piglet.
post #22 of 59
Thread Starter 
Thank you so much Piglet That was so well said. I really do agree, especially about the leaving school being a "social death sentence" thing.
post #23 of 59
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by annakiss View Post
Fo shizzle, Piglet.
^Ok, you said it better
post #24 of 59
Quote:
Originally Posted by Piglet68 View Post
As the adult, I consider school to be NOT in the best interests of my child, and would no more allow them to choose school before they've had a few years of unschooling under their belt, than I would let them decide what kind of car we should buy or what investment vehicles we should use for our savings. I don't consider this hypocrisy.
I agree with your whole post, but the part I quoted is what I was trying to say as well. Thank you so much for your thoughts.
post #25 of 59
I think 2.5 is a little young to get worried about it. There are many years between now and kindergarten. Like most things, she'll play it and then get sick of it and move on to something else. GL
post #26 of 59
Quote:
Originally Posted by Piglet68 View Post
There is also a danger with letting a very young child "try out school". Because here's the thing: preschool is pretty darn fun, and so is kindergarten. By the time kids are partway into elementary school... they are so peer-attached that the thought of leaving all their friends to homeschool feels like a social death sentence. School has become The Norm for them and unless they've somehow managed to maintain close friendships with a number of unschooled children, they are going to be subject to all the mainstream attitudes to homeschooling, which will further freak them out.

As the adult, I consider school to be NOT in the best interests of my child, and would no more allow them to choose school before they've had a few years of unschooling under their belt, than I would let them decide what kind of car we should buy or what investment vehicles we should use for our savings. I don't consider this hypocrisy.
This, exactly.
post #27 of 59
"By the time kids are partway into elementary school and start to realize that school sucks..."

You can't call this child-led, when using inflamatory language like this. What happens if a child thinks school doesn't 'suck'...then what?

I understand what Kitty is trying to say-and saying it well. You can't call it child-led if you create an atmosphere at home of 'school sucks'. You need to open your mind to the fact that being child-led might mean your child loves school. Your role surely as a child-led advocate is to offer opportunities and let the child decide, not your bias decide.
post #28 of 59
I live in an area where kids school/homeschool and unschool--often times kids are moving between these three. It's not uncommon at all-one of mine has done it. We never really had anyone try to sell my child on school. However, when my homeschooled child wanted to go to school, he went.

If I had a philosophy that my children were not allowed to attend school under any circumstances, I would have been honest enough to not downplay their natural curiosity, but rather tell them that despite that, they would never be allowed to choose school. Not being snarky, just saying that I personally feel that if our choices for our children's education are paramount, then we should just be upfront about it because it means that the child's views or wishes essentially do not count, and won't count. You can present it anyway you want to, but in the end, the parent controls the decision making, so why worry about what other kids are doing? It won't ever really matter if there aren't choices or conversation. JMO.
post #29 of 59
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cukup View Post
"By the time kids are partway into elementary school and start to realize that school sucks..."

You can't call this child-led, when using inflamatory language like this. What happens if a child thinks school doesn't 'suck'...then what?

I understand what Kitty is trying to say-and saying it well. You can't call it child-led if you create an atmosphere at home of 'school sucks'. You need to open your mind to the fact that being child-led might mean your child loves school. Your role surely as a child-led advocate is to offer opportunities and let the child decide, not your bias decide.
I don't think that anyone who practices child-led learning ever intended that they the parent be left totally out of the equation. I will pass my beliefs on to my children: political, spiritual, etc. I will certainly allow for their own beliefs and their own ideas about things, but if I really oppose them doing something that I believe is harmful to them, then I'm going to say so and do my best to sway them.

I firmly believe that school is not a good place for my children to be. When my 8 year old developed an interest in going, we took a look at what it was that he was really interested in and what he felt was missing from his daily life that was resulting in that and we addressed those needs. We also talked about what school is like and how that is different from our home environment. In the end, I also told him that it made me sad that he wanted to leave us for school. Because it did.

Also, every single thing children take a passing interest in does not necessitate a full immersion in. I have to weigh when an interest is serious. My son also wants to go to Scotland and try haggis, but that's not a possibility for us right now. We find other ways of sating that urge. And sometimes, he just drops it as the interest was really just a vague inclination.
post #30 of 59
My dd 6 expressed an interest in going for kindergarten but this year she is happy to stay home despite kids in the neighborhood telling her that school is much better.

I handled the "school" phase by listening to her, validating the fun stuff about school and letting her know that she will be able to go to school at some point. I also talked about the benefits of homeschooling vs school. Something like "school can be a lot of fun, someday you can go too. Right now you get to play all day and do this,this and this!"

Good luck!
post #31 of 59
Quote:
Originally Posted by KittyDanger View Post
Here's a thought. Let her go to school if that's what she wants.
maybe im confused, are you saying child led learning means the parents are mindless drones following every whim?

im certainly not going to sign my kid up for school and send them off to be taught in a way i dont approve of just because they think its all glitter and glue and rainbows.

just like my daughter LOOOOOOVES hfcs, gmo, red dye #40 crap candy- i do not just let her have at it, full tilt. I dont stock the fridge and cupboards with it because she wants it all the time. I dont support the production of it by buying it, if its offered to her I offer guidance, and then let her make the final decision.

i try to expose her to whole food, naturally flavored and dyed candy, i buy her treats that are not as harsh on her system, etc.

you take their lead... and surround them with enrichment.

i may believe that child led learning is ideal, but that doesnt mean i check my brain and my 29 years of life experience at the door.

its not as simple as "your child wants it! you are still controlling them under the guise of not controlling them! see? your whole philosophy is corrupt!"

unschooling isnt some rigid thing that we must follow to the letter.

Quote:
Originally Posted by WindyCityMom View Post
I totally agree. I think I'll go back to being a lurker in this thread and continue reading through previous posts.


dont do that- the forum needs new threads about this stuff.


as for the op dilemma-

my waldorfy unschooly kids play school- their dad is working on his masters, so they see him doing homework/writing papers, etc.

when they talk about going to school, i just say, "if when you are older you want to go to high school or college- you can" and leave it at that until they get closer.

my 5 year old loved school play at 2-3... but this year when her peers were off to school she had ZERO interest of leaving home and me and her siblings for over 20 hours a week.

they change.

personally, i am the opposite of everything my own mother wanted for me, and everything she passionately hated in society.

she worked hard to be a professional woman so that i would not end up "a stay at home mom having to use cloth diapers and depend on a man" :P

i try to not make anything out to be awful... just not the thing we are into as a family at the moment, and allow for change.
post #32 of 59
I just sort of answer conversationally with "oh, yeah?" and see where the conversation goes. Dd did go to school for a year (montessori), but eventually we took her out because she kept asking to stay home.
post #33 of 59
Quote:
Originally Posted by Juvysen View Post
I just sort of answer conversationally with "oh, yeah?" and see where the conversation goes. Dd did go to school for a year (montessori), but eventually we took her out because she kept asking to stay home.
thats the best way of finding out what it is they are wanting...

more craft time
worksheets (my dd1 loves to fill out sheets)
more playgroup/friend time q
post #34 of 59
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cukup View Post
"By the time kids are partway into elementary school and start to realize that school sucks"....You can't call this child-led, when using inflamatory language like this. What happens if a child thinks school doesn't 'suck'...then what?

Okay, I was using a bit of hyperbole to make my point. However, I don't think we're sharing the same definition of "child led" here...

Unschooling is child-led LEARNING. To me, that means following my child's interests and allowing them to dictate the pace and breadth of their learning. It's not about choosing between school and unschooling. For me, that is right up there with choosing whether to use a car seat, or what groceries I should bring home from the store. If you are talking about something else, then we're speaking at cross-purposes here.

Quote:
I understand what Kitty is trying to say-and saying it well. You can't call it child-led if you create an atmosphere at home of 'school sucks'.
First, I don't do that. And I don't need to because the message is loud and clear from popular media and culture in our society. Once the kids pass the preschool/kindergarten/grade 1 age the propaganda stops and now it's commonly portrayed in our culture that kids hate school. Witness the cheers of joy when school gets closed due to snow. My kids will soon pick up on the message that school sucks, just by being exposed to popular culture.

But what I didn't say in my post, though I implied it, is that after my children have had a chance to experience unschooling for a few years so that they truly understand it, I would be open to sending them to school if they wanted to, and then it would be their choice, and an informed decision. So saying I would never let my preschooler decide on school does not mean that an older child would not be given the freedom to do so.

Quote:
You need to open your mind to the fact that being child-led might mean your child loves school.
Absolutely! But how could a 2.5 year old know that? My point is that I feel it's safer to start with unschooling and then let them go to school once they've got an understanding of how unschooling can serve them (if that is their choice). Because I see doing it the other way as fraught with difficulty (due to social pressures mentioned earlier) not to mention the time it will take to deschool.

Quote:
Your role surely as a child-led advocate is to offer opportunities and let the child decide, not your bias decide.
Again, it is child led LEARNING, not child-led life. I don't let my child decide whether to use a car seat, or what groceries to buy. Seems like we have a different understanding of what that term means.
post #35 of 59
I faced a similar dilemma when my daughter was that age a few years ago. Everywhere we turned, people where promoting the wonders of school. I was afraid she would be upset/disappointed when all her friends started school and she didn't. The way we handled it was to start attending homeschooling/unschooling functions/activities when my DD was 2.5yo. Even though she was still so young, I thought it was important for her to have already established friendships and a sense of community with other homeschoolers so that by the time she was 4 or 5 she wouldn't feel singled out and left behind when kids she knew started school. By having already spent several years within the homeschool/unschool community, when she was "school age" she was able to see "going to school" as just another choice some families make (much like eating meat or being vegetarian) rather than the be-all end-all it is frequently presented as. My DD is now 6 and we've been able to weather the going-to-school vs homeshooling transition without much difficulty. In fact, by being firmly rooted in the homeschool community, she wasn't even troubled when a few of her homeschool friends decided to go to school afterall.

I'm not sure where in the city you are but there are a number of homeschooling/unschooling groups in the city. If you are interested, I can PM you more specific info about a few of them.

Good Luck!
post #36 of 59
We aren't planning to unschool but I like to look on this board for ideas.. My daugther is 3 1/2 and has been asking about school since she could say the word. It is common around here for children to start preschool at around 1 1/2 (yea, that includes desk work and the teachers showing flashcards the whole 9 yards). I like to try to figure out what she is excited about and add it to the day so she doesn't feel like shes losing out. For example things shes been excited about:
Bus rides- I took her on a tour. I also explained to her how the school buses work, how long she would be on them (without me or her sister with her) and let her see the kids starting to get ready to get on. Once she saw that most of the kids weren't happy to be getting on the bus and she got the experience of riding a bus she hasn't mentioned it again.
Worksheets- She LOVES worksheets. If I let her she would sit and do them all day long. I got her several workbooks and put them in plastic page protectors now she can do them, erase them, do them, erase them.
Learning about animals, dinosaurs and learning to read- I made sure to plan these into our day and answer her questions. I haven't touched the reading thing yet because shes a profectionist already and I don't know if she could grasp reading at her age. I worry about her getting discouraged. We did try 100 EZ Lessons and she stopped half way through lesson two told me it was boring and asked when she was actually going to learn to read.
The whole excitement of getting ready for school was a big thing a month ago so I let her get some "school" supplies (crayons, glue, glitter, paper) and pick out fabric for a back to school dress.

I am getting tired of strangers in the store asking her where she goes to school and who her teacher is. My DH,however, taught her to say she "goes to the school of Mommy Awesomeness and Awesome Mommy is her teacher". It takes people a while to figure that one out.
post #37 of 59
If you don't want your child exposed to information on things your family doesn't or won't do then I suggest you never let her out of the house. I don't really understand the problem here. So what if other kids/people are telling her about how great school is, if your plan is to unschool then you start talking to her about it when she understands. We don't eat fast food, lots of my ds's friends do. When he asked why he can't I explain to him why this is how our family operates, all families are different. Same with certain toys, movies, TV, etc. Its really not that complicated. Your dd is going to be exposed to a lot of things in her life that are not things that are right for your family. Get used to it and learn how to deal with it or don't let her associate with any one outside of you immediate family. If you want to only be around like minded people you could probably find a commune somewhere that would be a good fit for your family. Its ridiculous to expect others not to talk to your dd about school or other things that those terrible :mainstream: kids do. You are her parent, you better learn how to deal with outside influences pretty quick or, as I said, don't allow her to associate outside of you and your dh.
post #38 of 59
Quote:
Originally Posted by cycle View Post
If you don't want your child exposed to information on things your family doesn't or won't do then I suggest you never let her out of the house. I don't really understand the problem here. So what if other kids/people are telling her about how great school is, if your plan is to unschool then you start talking to her about it when she understands. We don't eat fast food, lots of my ds's friends do. When he asked why he can't I explain to him why this is how our family operates, all families are different. Same with certain toys, movies, TV, etc. Its really not that complicated. Your dd is going to be exposed to a lot of things in her life that are not things that are right for your family. Get used to it and learn how to deal with it or don't let her associate with any one outside of you immediate family. If you want to only be around like minded people you could probably find a commune somewhere that would be a good fit for your family. Its ridiculous to expect others not to talk to your dd about school or other things that those terrible :mainstream: kids do. You are her parent, you better learn how to deal with outside influences pretty quick or, as I said, don't allow her to associate outside of you and your dh.

i think being exposed to the world is different from what the OP is talking about.

if it was a societal norm for all children to start going to mcdonalds at the age of 4- and you refused to let your child- you might find yourself wondering how to approach the situation after the 50th person said, "your 4! wow! you get to go to McDONALDS THIS YEAR!"

lol

its annoying...part of the decision for sure... but absolutely something every stranger feels like talking about.
post #39 of 59
after numerous invitations, and merciless nagging I finally let Hs dd,7, join her village friends at the PS for lunchtime and recess

she is an only in a village where we must seek out playmates

the "new" teacher was gracious and welcoming
the classroom was not inviting.
her friends who usually scream up and down and hug when they see her
were grumbling at their desk

loud hip hop was playing, the teacher apologized.
I guess kids choose lunchtime music.

I returned and gathered her up after recess.

She wants to join recess again, funny she did not ask to go to class.

I think she saw the same picture I have been painting of classroom life.

She has told me she wants to go to school since she was 3. "because that's where all the kids are."
She also wants to drink wine, drive, and ride over the white line in traffic !
post #40 of 59
My Ds, now 4, was excited by people around him about school for a few years. When he was ready to be in a group for some learning we joined a homeschool/preschool co-op that we are still members of. It seems to fill his need of "school friends". As he gets to school age we will either sign him up for classes that interest him or the Options program (which is a local one day a week school program for homeschooled kids).

I think at 2.5 kids are barely ready to play with one other child let alone 25.

While we follow a very child-led approach to learning in this house we are not radical unschoolers, I feel that it is within my responsibility to limit what my four year old is exposed to, actually I call it parenting. That doesn't mean that we shelter him, just that not everything is fair game. And one of those things is school. As he gets older it may become a discussion we have, but 2.5 isn't the time, neither is 4.

As a side note I am also getting tired of how harsh people are in this sub-forum. For me the concept of unschooling was about accepting what was right for each child, if that is true why doesn't extend to other people as well. We are all going to approach our children's learning journeys differently, because of our children, ourselves, and our community. It seems strange to me that the area that is supposed to be discussing the most freedom often has the people with the most narrow views.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Unschooling
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Childhood and Beyond › Education › Learning at Home and Beyond › Unschooling › Other kids getting DD (2.5) excited about school.. help