Why are you into birth?

[MegBoz]

I assume many of us on this board consider ourselves “birthies” & are fascinated by the topic. But why?

Personally, I think it is the condition of American maternity care that made me a birthie. I consider our maternity care to be an atrocity. I think women & babies are being abused with practices like “nothing by mouth” and VBAC bans & a +32% CS rate are nearly criminal. It infuriates me.

The ignorance that abounds also astounds me. The prevailing beliefs that “doctor knows best” & “trust your OB” are frustrating (not to mention the fact that healthy women shouldn’t really even be seeing OBs anyway!) I can’t believe all reproducing women aren’t marching the streets in protest!

While it might still interest me, I think if I lived somewhere like the Netherlands that doesn’t have a damaging, disastrous, abusive excuse for maternity ‘care’ – I probably wouldn’t be so passionate about birth in general & might not spend time on boards like this.

How about you all?

[AnneCordelia]

I'm "into" birth because I'm pregnant, have been pregnant and have children who will one day also reproduce. I'm into birth for my sake, for my children's sake and for the sake of my grandchildren. I'm at a point in my life, the childbearing years, where it makes sense for me to advocate for the choice that I want and that I want for them.

[macandcheese]

I'm into birth because I'm a feminist. I see the ability to make educated and autonomous choices about birth as just another part of the reproductive rights continuum.

[sattygirl99]

I'm into birth because I've been on the trauma side of it... I've had 2 traumatic births (which I just posted about in the healing forum), been 'abused' by the maternity system and am healing my way through my learning and educating others about their options.

I wouldn't want anyone to relieve the trauma that I have when birth is supposed to natural, normal, beautiful and our god given right.

[Smokering]

It's interesting. Plus, my mother was a midwife, and I was present for the birth of my youngest sister, so I guess I'm conditioned to find it cool. I love the biology aspect of it, the birth stories, the activism angle... I thought when pregnant with DD that I might get sick of it after I gave birth (just as I went "off" weddings after mine), but I didn't. 2.5 years later I still write pregnancy- and birth-related articles, and prick up my ears when other mothers talk about childbirth.

[MyFullHouse]

Because, 12 years ago, I had a planned induction with epidural.
Two and a half years later, I had a miscarriage, and that prompted me to begin learning more about my body and reproduction. I became fascinated by the idea that these things were not common knowledge to the majority of the mainstream population. WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME?!?!?!

As I learned more, I made more autonomous choices. Even when they weren't "perfect" choices (#4 was another induction), they were MY fully informed choices.

And what started as new-to-me discoveries about pregnancy and delivery spurred me to become informed on many more issues, including bf'ing, diapering, general parenting, education, vaccination, housekeeping, cooking, and who knows what else. But it all started with birthin' babies!

[BirdMum]

I have Ina May Gaskin to thank.

Since the age of 15 or so, I've been fascinated by human reproduction. At the age of 17, I started volunteering as a pregnancy counselor. I was a support person to many women through pregnancy, and saw a lot of the system. That was the year I read 'Spiritual Midwifery' and it opened my eyes a LOT. Being myself, this of course launched a huge course of study on my part into modern obstetric and midwifery care, and a lot of it made me very angry.

When I got pregnant with my son at 19, I went with midwives without a second thought. My experience with them was wonderful.

Then I moved here, where there are no practicing midwives because they are granted no rights at all because they are not acknowledged as medical practitioners. I have encountered many women who just do what they are told by obstetricians, who have been subject to the outdated, unenlightened, and extremely restrictive policies of the hospital here because the choice is to have an OB and a hospital birth, or a UC. I vowed to fight it, and I have been fighting it as a patient. I will be a midwife someday, and then I will fight it from within the system as well.

[MegBoz]

Originally Posted by BirdMum

I vowed to fight it, and I have been fighting it as a patient. I will be a midwife someday, and then I will fight it from within the system as well.

Your passion leaps off the page & made me smile. Humankind is lucky that women like you are around.

[CI Mama]

It's a feminist issue for me, too, and I agree with PP that it's in the continuum of reproductive rights, which is a really important issue to me. The politics of it engages me at a certain level and I want to feel that I can do something to improve women's experiences and be a voice for systemic change.

At a deeper level, though, I troll this forum because for me birth is a big fat Mystery that touched me in the most profound and transformative way, and I'm still struggling to understand what happened during my long, complicated birthing experience and how to integrate that experience into the fabric of my being. It was painful and glorious and humbling, and two years later just thinking about it can still shake me to the core, though I'm gradually learning to touch that Mystery more lightly.

What I look for on this forum is some kind of perspective & a connection to others who have had similar experiences or been transformed in a similar way. I want to be a part of a community where it's OK to talk about the Mystery. I also need all the help I can get in terms of developing compassion & humility on my journey of healing. Mostly, I want to feel like I'm not alone. MDC has been a real gift in that regards.

[Galatea]

B/c I am obsessed with bodily integrity and terrified of having my body be violated.

B/c I am a feminist and think that American obstetrics is the most abusive, anti-woman system ever invented.

[msmiranda]

Originally Posted by Galatea

B/c I am obsessed with bodily integrity and terrified of having my body be violated.

B/c I am a feminist and think that American obstetrics is the most abusive, anti-woman system ever invented.

This. And everything you said, MegBoz. The idea that I had no say in my medical care just because I was pregnant was just anathema to me. And the fact that the system is SO WRONG about issues of safety and well-being mystifies and infuriates me every day. My SIL narrowly escaped a c-section just a week ago in a supposedly "progressive" hospital, where she had pitocin and amniotomy pushed on her by doctors who said she "wasn't progressing fast enough." She and my BIL held them off for 12 hours, and by the time they relented she was pretty much fully dilated and ready to push. I have two friends who were not so lucky earlier this summer and both ended up with unnecessareans.

[mmaramba]

A lot of the same feminist issues mentioned.

Plus my mom's an MD who is fairly intervention- and drug-averse (in general) and had two unmedicated births herself. She's a scientific "skeptic" who taught me to question conventional wisdom and the rigorousness of various studies, etc., and not just believe anything a doctor/authority figure tells me, YKWIM?

Both of those things instilled in me the desire to combat misinformation around the subject, and to understand why people believe what they do about birth.

[BirdMum]

Originally Posted by MegBoz

Your passion leaps off the page & made me smile. Humankind is lucky that women like you are around.

Thanks.

There's lots of other women like me here who have been fighting this a lot longer. There was a *huge* achievement this year when our health minister agreed to work on implementing hospital-based midwives. But that's, of course, only part of the issue.

Originally Posted by mmaramba

Plus my mom's an MD who is fairly intervention- and drug-averse (in general) and had two unmedicated births herself. She's a scientific "skeptic" who taught me to question conventional wisdom and the rigorousness of various studies, etc., and not just believe anything a doctor/authority figure tells me, YKWIM?

You have an awesome mom.

[zinemama]

Originally Posted by macandcheese

I'm into birth because I'm a feminist. I see the ability to make educated and autonomous choices about birth as just another part of the reproductive rights continuum.

Although I wouldn't describe myself as "into birth" in particular, (i.e., I'm not a "birthie") I agree with this take on it.

[weliveintheforest]

I think I would be a birthie no matter what, but the fact that it is so hard for women to get a normal birth really keeps it in the forefront of my mind.

[stardogs]

Because all my friends are having children and I need to have something to do while DH and I wait.

Because I was raised in a household where we didn't accept everything we were told as truth.

Because I've taken a holistic approach to the care of my pets and I think I (and my family) deserve the same level of care and understanding.

Because maybe, just maybe, a friend or two will realize that despite not being a mom or pregnant I might actually have some important information to share if they want it!

[GuildJenn]

I come at it partly the other way I guess.

I'm into birth because I really carefully chose my OB (almost chose midwives but had some concerns) with my daughter, selected a hospital known for its low c-section rate and natural birth friendly atmosphere, and trusted my body in my first delivery. Sadly due to a combination of factors -- largely human error and staffing issues on that particular day, in terms of not catching, and sheer biology and physics at the root of it -- my daughter died 4 days after birth due to oxygen deprivation due to a 2x nuchal cord.

Quite honestly I feel that the natural birth community AND the medical community colluded in minimizing risk to the point that my DH and I failed to understand what the stakes were once things started to go south. Not that we should have had to.

For my next delivery I wanted a planned c-section and picked a high-octane high-risk clinic and one of the top OBs. With his and his nurse's support, I had a somewhat natural vaginal delivery (I did 'get' an epidural because we had orders written that would have gone to c-section with even the merest whiff of fetal distress, but it never actually kicked in nor did they even get the pitocin drip placed since my son crowned while I was getting it in) in a hospital chock full of machines that go ping and none of the natural vibes of the first one.

Because my OB really does practice evidence-based medicine and rather than giving me what I thought I wanted (my body my right - my c-section) he sat with me for hours over the course of my pregnancy and went through the research and the risks and benefits and shared his experience, which boiled down to: 1. There are no guarantees, but we will monitor better and 2. A c-section is major abdominal surgery we want to avoid if we can, but we won't be squeamish about it.

In all honesty I feel like I'm in the 'neither fish nor fowl nor good red herring' camp of birthing. I do not believe in "trusting birth" nor do I believe in unnecessary intervention. I believe strongly in risk manangement and good decision-making that listens to and allows for instinct, but also includes experienced, trained, scientifically-based observation and care, whether that's at home or in a birthing centre or in hospital.

I don't believe the goal should be to get to 0% interventions over the population, because there will be women and cases where those are necessary, and I accept that sometimes there will be times that a call is made where the intervention ultimately is 'unnecessary' and times that a call is made to continue with a natural delivery but there is some final, disastrous factor.

I feel very lucky even after my experiences to be in Toronto where things seem slightly less politicized than in areas of the US.

And now I'm pregnant again, so it's on my mind too.

[lifeguard]

Because my Mom always told her birth stories so wonderfully - as such life changing events.

Because it took 6 years to get pregnant - that's a lot of time to read & get passionate about something.

I always like the feminist answer!!!

[lunarlady]

Because it is a major life transition. Going from "woman" to "mommy" is a huge change.

When I got married, I was into weddings. Going from "woman" to "wife" was similarly life changing.

When I went to college, I was into researching careers, schools, and housing. Going from "daughter" to "woman" was a huge step.

So anytime my life is about to be upended, I like to make that change as powerful, meaningful, peaceful, and spiritual as possible. Since I'm having babies, that means being into birth. But at a later time in my life, I will undoubtitly be into something else that is more relevent to me at the time. (Menopause? Empty nesting? Grandparenting? Who knows what the future will bring?) Right at the moment my focus is shifting from birthing to BF, simply because that is where I'm at and I can only carry so many torches at once.

[cileag]

Originally Posted by GuildJenn

In all honesty I feel like I'm in the 'neither fish nor fowl nor good red herring' camp of birthing. I do not believe in "trusting birth" nor do I believe in unnecessary intervention. I believe strongly in risk manangement and good decision-making that listens to and allows for instinct, but also includes experienced, trained, scientifically-based observation and care, whether that's at home or in a birthing centre or in hospital.

I don't believe the goal should be to get to 0% interventions over the population, because there will be women and cases where those are necessary, and I accept that sometimes there will be times that a call is made where the intervention ultimately is 'unnecessary' and times that a call is made to continue with a natural delivery but there is some final, disastrous factor.

Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts GuildJenn. I'm so sorry about the loss of your daughter. I agree very much with this mentality. I'm an OB RN who chose to give birth at home and it was with great deliberation and acceptance of the risks it poses.

I also am a birth advocate for most of the reasons listed above: feminism, a broken hospital system etc, but also for me it was an incredible physical transformation that gave me an new sense of the power of my body. I'm not a very good athlete, have never really won at anything physical, so planning and achieving an unmedicated birth for me was a very empowering experience. Much like a marathon or triathalon would be for some people. That's not to say I think everyone or even every birth of mine needs to be unmedicated, just that I found it meaningful.