trouble, trouble, and more TROUBLE! - Page 2

[sunnmama]

Is it legal for an artist to include a 16 yo in a body suspension exhibit without parental consent where you live? Where I live, a 16 yo can not even get her ears pierced without parental consent, and the piercer is responsible for knowing the client's age.

If it is illegal, you may have the option of pressing charges against the suspension artist. At 16, that would be a deterrent for me: wanting to look cool, not wanting to get my friends arrested .

[BritneyB]

Here's it's at the discretion of the artist in question. There are no actual laws, and this particular man feels that 16 and over is fine. I can't really do anything about that. At least the modeling contract I can put a stop to, she can't sign a contract that binding without me.

[GoBecGo]

Well, i think her sense of style sounds really cool!

I left home, to go to university, at 17. This is pretty normal in scotland. So i wouldn't be leaping to do anything extreme/taking anything away - my kid could well be on their own in as little as a year from where she is, so i guess i'd try to talk to her about what SHE thinks needs to happen. Grounded until 18!? So i would have missed much of my first term of university!? 16 is a few very short years from independence, the time for heavy-handed parenting is past.

At 16 and as strong-minded as she is i bet she would be able to homeschool herself, if you were willing to let her. I personally would applaud my DD for punching a male attempting to undress her against her wishes and i would have complained to the school that sexual assault is dealt with by punishing the victim. I see a few comments to the tune of it being a problem her wearing a corset and "of course she'll get this happening" - and that is fine, but it needs to therefore also be fine if your straight-laced DD gets assaulted or raped because she was wearing white granny panties and her rapist found them alluring. There is no "asking for it".

The suspension is a little extreme, but is it so different from body piercing? My mother was horrified by my bellybutton piercing at 15, and my tongue at 20 (neither of which got kept) but she just didn't get it. I was decorating myself, not mutilating myself. Yes, it is worrying that she would do it to get taken seriously, but i think the answer to that is a discussion about self-respect and being sure the people who would be impressed by a 16 year old doing a suspension are WORTH impressing - she probably thinks they are now and will decide they weren't later, that's ok, i'm sure we all did that as teens!

I'm not sure i would "do" anything. I would insist she was civil towards me and other family members. I would tell her if she hasn't come home or called by midnight i would send the police looking for her (and i would do so!). All she has to do is call, it's not a big ask. I would look into what it would take for her to school herself, and perhaps concentrate on what SHE wants to do - does she want to do music in college? Or art/graphics/photography? Maybe a look at the grades she needs to do those things would provide focus, at the moment it sounds like she needs to "get through" school, and maybe knowing what she's there for will help.

I was a very mature 16yo, and i did things similar to all this. Maturity sometimes just means the dumb stuff you did in your early 20's is going to happen earlier, not that it won't happen at all.

I think she sounds like an essentially good person. Not cruel or criminal, just outgoing, strong-willed and perhaps a bit stubborn. It's a man's world, we need more women like that!

[joensally]

Originally Posted by BritneyB

Here's it's at the discretion of the artist in question. There are no actual laws, and this particular man feels that 16 and over is fine. I can't really do anything about that. At least the modeling contract I can put a stop to, she can't sign a contract that binding without me.

What province are you in? There are child welfare laws and 16 may be deemed too young for consent.

[Vermillion]

My son is only 8... So maybe you'll want to take my advice/opinions with a grain of salt... but I was a pretty rebellious teen, so, I feel like I can speak on the issue.

My first thought/concern is the body mod/suspension stuff and is it all clean!? You say it’s at the discretion of the artist, but I’m wondering how legit any body artist who is willing to deal with underage kids is, you know? But I’m in the States, so maybe things are a lot different, I don’t know. But yeah, I’d be talking to her about the health risks that are involved when dealing with someone who may possibly be questionable. I have nothing at all against body modification but it’s got to be clean!

The clothing- Not a hill worth fighting & dying on at all, IMO.

The sex- I would definitely talk to her about having respect for her body if you haven’t already… but I’m of the mindset that if teens want to have sex, they’re going to. You may not like it, but you can’t really stop it. Do what you can to make sure she’s staying safe!

School & suspension- I could totally see myself punching some boy in my teens for being disrespectful! If his hands were on her he was sexually harassing her! I hope he was also suspended! As for school in general, I HATED IT! I ended up dropping out I so wish my parents had taken me seriously enough to give me another option other than “just go to school!” Is there any way you’d consider homeschooling? Unschooling? If she hates school at her age, I really don't think this will change... so looking into another option would be good.

[zebra15]

IMO I would find a qualified child/adolescence psychologist and fast. If not for your DD, for yourself. You need some sense of what 'normal' is and then work from there. You need a plan, some place to start. What is most important, school, band, dress code, RESPECT? You may be a single mom and think there are few options but you can either try to regain control of the situation now or have trouble and rebellion forever. DD will be 18 soon so IMO get yourself to a therapist and fast.

[Tigerchild]

I'm curious to know as well what province in Canada has no age of consent or parental approval required for minors performing in a fetish show.

[BritneyB]

I don't believe in homeschool at all, and I refuse to support it in any way. Besides, I think that would just give Jamie an option to do nothing about her education at all and devote every second to her band. She's hated school since she was 6, that will never change, and I don't really agree with the education system either.

I did just get some new information, from a former friend of Jamie's, and I don't know whether or not to trust it. According to this girl, Jamie only ever has sex with men because some on she loved died. I remember him, Jamie's oldest friend, commited suicide about 2 years ago, but I would never have believed that they were in love. Supposedly Jamie has his name carved into the back of her left shoulder. Any one thinking that this might be a questionable source with a vendetta against my daughter? or should I trust that this is true?

I got a number for a psychiatrist from one of my co-workers, he's pretty heavily booked and the appointment is for Oct. 7. Guess that between now and then, I just have to try to reign her in and think about how I will get her to the appointment.