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Gratuitous pity party post

post #1 of 15
Thread Starter 
Please join me in lamenting the incredible unfairness of infertility and the many twists and turns that we have to hold on through for the entire journey.

I've been awesome for the last month, which is a total shock, but today the un-awesome is getting to me. The money's running out, the choices are dwindling, and I feel like I've gotten nothing but discouraging news lately.

And again!

Anyone else?
post #2 of 15
Yep I'll join the pity party!!!!!!! Not really happy with how this stage of infertility is moving along.
post #3 of 15
milletpuff, I am so here with you. I need to kvetch about what's driving me most crazy right now:

We are all hopped up on so many hormonal meds that we get tons of pregnancy symptoms whether we're pregnant or not! It makes the two week wait MADDENING and very frustrating!!!!! I'm going crazy here between the HCG trigger, the mild OHSS, and the Prometrium. Oh, yeah, all the same symptoms could be PMS too, so who the hell knows what's going on. We can't even take pregnancy tests until at least 10 days out, and even then, I can't let myself completely trust a positive until I'm 14dpo.

I'm 6dpo, 8 days past trigger now. I started my Prometrium 4 days ago, and now my nipples are mildly tender and my breasts are a little sore. I wish wish wish it was a pregnancy symptom, but I know it's just yet another side effect from yet another drug I'm taking.
post #4 of 15
Thread Starter 
There are just so many delightful parts of this process aren't there? Let's see, there's the money that we might be hemorrhaging, the meds that make us crazy, the insensitive comments from anyone we might be bold enough to share this all with, the mistrust or downright hatred of the body we are supposed to be unconditionally loving, the relationship challenges we might be having, the seemingly interminable waiting waiting waiting, the stream of bad news...I know there's more.

I need a diaper change, I have SERIOUS POOPY PANTS this week. I'm not even trying this cycle!!!!
post #5 of 15
Um, yes

I'm currently on an endometriosis diet that probably does nothing but involves cutting out most of the foods I think are really delicious and some people eat crack (or whatever they do with crack) and get pregnant.

Also I have to have surgery in a few weeks and I effing hate surgery. But I'm an ass if I don't do it because it might help and it's the only thing our insurance will at least partially pay for.

To top it off, I work with pregnant and postpartum women for my job so I get to be around new moms and babies all day long. Usually I'm fine with it, but sometimes I just kind of want to curl up and cry.
post #6 of 15
Thread Starter 
Ooh fun, diet changes! I am doing that too. Cuz, you know, IF isn't isolating ENOUGH, but now we can't even have meals with friends. Awesome!

, I hope that your surgery goes really smoothly. And, I don't know how I'd manage in your job without punching a lot of people in the face or crying nonstop.
post #7 of 15
I'm on the OHSS diet. You'd think I'd love stuffing my face with sodium and protein, but salty meat gets old really fast.

I'm lucky enough to have insurance paying for my treatments now, but that wasn't the case with my daughter. We put ourselves into serious debt to have her. I've also dealt with some really insensitive, downright stupid comments from "friends". Before I was pregnant with my daughter, a friend who knew what I was going through called me up gushing about her new pregnancy, and then insisted that I do all of her pregnancy footwork for her because "reading bad stuff on the internet makes me scared". So not only was she pregnant, but she wanted me to research pregnancy and babies for her because she was too lazy/dumb/insensitive/whatever to deal with it herself.

Good luck with your surgery!! It's never any fun, but if it can help that's a good thing.
post #8 of 15
I'm here, I've been lurking for some time. We've been trying unsuccessfully for exactly two years this month, so it's been hard. I'll be out of the country for the next 3 months so everything's on hold until January. We will begin examinations and diagnosing and all that then (with my gyn at first). This is a highly emotional phase for me, too.
post #9 of 15
I just came over here looking for company. You know how misery loves it. Been TTC for four years. I'm thinking we'l' have to up the ante if we are to have any success, but the drugs (and drug-induced craziness) scare me.

One of my dearest friends just told me she's 13wks; and she expected to have lots of trouble conceiving due to a history of very weird irregular periods and PCOS, along with being 34, but no, it happened very fast. So I felt like an awesome friend bawling at this news. It's not her, it's just me.

It seems so unfair, and makes me feel really alone and broken. Like, I'm healthy, eat a good diet, am a normal weight, don't use any substances, not even coffee, and ...... nada. I'm not a big ovulator, I guess. Wah.

It's good to feel less alone. Thanks for that.
post #10 of 15
I`m just having a crappy, crappy evening, or week, or month, or something, so I`ll join, please. I am just so, so, so tired - the infertility its only a part of it, I guess, so maybe this doesn`t belong here, but maybe if I write it out I can stop crying and get on withthings. The biggest thing is the infertility - nothing very new with it, I have been infertile for 8 years and that hasn`t changed, obviously, but a year ago I went off gluten, whch helps enormously when I manage to stay off it and eat nothing bad by mistake, but somehow I just haven`t bounced back from being glutened a the ILs last month, or there is something sneaking into my diet or I know not what, because my mind is muddled by the gluten, but the past two periods have arrived with killer cramps, the kind no one else understands but which knock you over and leave you stranded on the kitchen floor, waiting for the pain to subside enough to go somewhere more comfortable, wondering in the meantime if something has burst inside of you, and last week on top of not being pg, I had to start taking prescription pain killers which just sucks so much - like rubbing salt in my wounds, seriously - so many years of my stupid body refusing to do what it is supposed to do and giving me so much pain instead, plus being on this restrictive diet but still not being well (for now - I know it will get out of my system and I will be better again, but I dh and dd and I went out today and I couldn`t have icecream or dinner with them, just a cheap crappy chocolate bar and some bean snacks that have been sitting in the car forever, and at the moment is just seems so futile).

add to that a vaguely reeking of pay-cut notice from work and a huge helping of homesickness in the wake of talking with my sister this afternoon, and the fact that we spent yesterday afternoon at the far away after-hours dental clinic because poor dd knocked loose a tooth during her first event at the track and field day she had been looking forward to for weeks, and I am wiped out and knocked down.

okay, that helped. I expect I sound horribly meladramatic, but I am feeling thoroughly beaten and appreciate the chance to let it out - even better to do so to people who might understand a little. a rare gift, that.
post #11 of 15
Bump. I am having my own pity party tonite so i figured why not bump , it might be nice for someone who didnt have time to find this old page. I am so all over the place here. Maybe i need to join the "one thread" . I just poke around here and there, and i need to respond to some of my other threads about cleaning, which do to distract myself from being so upset. Its no fun and i am sick of it! I am a fed up woman.
post #12 of 15

I'm throwing my own pity party and you are all invited.  greensad.gif  Stupid stupid stupid infertility and bfn's and cramps and thyroid problems and AAAGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!    I'm going to go stuff my face with chocolate and wine.  

post #13 of 15
Chocolate and wine here as well, cd1 sucks:(
post #14 of 15

@hereweare I went back checked all the ladies who previously posted to this thread. All but two managed to get pregnant and have given birth since starting this thread. Although wallabi hasn't been online in almost 2 years, so no idea if it ever worked out for her.  I still want to join the pity party anyways. Thyroid issues and not ovulating issues aside, it's just so incredibly frustrating.

post #15 of 15
Hi devilish, i dont know what to say, that is just shocking to me, that so many people would be pregnant by now. Its hard to believe.....i am not going to think about that. How could that be? Its almost like too good to be true..how? Maybe i will look up like you did to see those members stories. Maybe i wont pull up old posts. Sometimes i am just looking for answers that i cant find and just keep digging.
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