I`m just having a crappy, crappy evening, or week, or month, or something, so I`ll join, please. I am just so, so, so tired - the infertility its only a part of it, I guess, so maybe this doesn`t belong here, but maybe if I write it out I can stop crying and get on withthings. The biggest thing is the infertility - nothing very new with it, I have been infertile for 8 years and that hasn`t changed, obviously, but a year ago I went off gluten, whch helps enormously when I manage to stay off it and eat nothing bad by mistake, but somehow I just haven`t bounced back from being glutened a the ILs last month, or there is something sneaking into my diet or I know not what, because my mind is muddled by the gluten, but the past two periods have arrived with killer cramps, the kind no one else understands but which knock you over and leave you stranded on the kitchen floor, waiting for the pain to subside enough to go somewhere more comfortable, wondering in the meantime if something has burst inside of you, and last week on top of not being pg, I had to start taking prescription pain killers which just sucks so much - like rubbing salt in my wounds, seriously - so many years of my stupid body refusing to do what it is supposed to do and giving me so much pain instead, plus being on this restrictive diet but still not being well (for now - I know it will get out of my system and I will be better again, but I dh and dd and I went out today and I couldn`t have icecream or dinner with them, just a cheap crappy chocolate bar and some bean snacks that have been sitting in the car forever, and at the moment is just seems so futile).
add to that a vaguely reeking of pay-cut notice from work and a huge helping of homesickness in the wake of talking with my sister this afternoon, and the fact that we spent yesterday afternoon at the far away after-hours dental clinic because poor dd knocked loose a tooth during her first event at the track and field day she had been looking forward to for weeks, and I am wiped out and knocked down.
okay, that helped. I expect I sound horribly meladramatic, but I am feeling thoroughly beaten and appreciate the chance to let it out - even better to do so to people who might understand a little. a rare gift, that.