How long to expect a b-day party RSVP?

[pianojazzgirl]

On Mon (4 days ago) dd gave out invites to some of her classmates for her party which is a week from Saturday. So far we haven't heard back from any of them. Last year we sent out invites much later (a few days before the party... it was because she had just started at a new school and was just getting to know the kids and figure out who she'd want to invite, btw) and got responses right away (that night or the next day). I know that two of her non-school friends are going to come, and I'm pretty sure about another couple of kids, but that leaves about 6 other kids unspoken for. I'm wondering when I'm likely to hear from the other parents, and at what point I should just assume that their kid won't be attending the party. I've been trying to think of games/activities/party favours etc, and knowing if it's going to be an intimate group of 4-5 kids, vs. 11+ kids makes a difference!

[Drummer's Wife]

IME, people tend to RSVP up until the day before the party (or even the day of, as for my DS's last b-day). I would probably plan on the maximum amount just in case - though, in reality, probably half of the kids will come? Did you put a specific date to RSVP by? That might make a difference, though I've never included that.

[pianojazzgirl]

Ah... brilliant idea, the RSVP deadline! Next year!

Very well then... I guess I'll stock up on stuff/food enough for a full house just in case, and try to come up with a variety of ideas for party games etc. Dang, these kids parties stress me out way more than adult ones!

[pbjmama]

I've found that you have to follow up on rsvps, even for events like weddings.

[eepster]

Without as firm RSVP deadline, most people won't take it at all seriously.

One time I RSVPed to a party just a few hours before it started. I apologized for my lateness RSVPing, and the host informed me that I was the very first person to RSVP. As far as I know I was the only person who actually RSVPed at all. The party was quite crowded, as most of the people invited did indeed show up for it.

[GuildJenn]

I accidentally discovered a secret to RSVPs - we were having issues getting a parks permit for my son's birthday so I said "please RSVP by this date with your email or phone number so we can tell you where it is" and we got almost 100% rsvps.

But otherwise I agree - I would wait until two days before (or a bit earlier if you really need time to plan (I would)) and then follow up with anyone who hasn't, if you have their contact info or can run into them at school or whatever.

[pianojazzgirl]

Thanks guys. I mentioned to dd today that when she saw her school friends on Monday she could ask them to have their parent call me to let me know if they were coming to the party. Unfortunately I don't know any of the families so I don't have any way to contact them besides using dd as a go-between. Besides that it seems like I just need to plan on having enough of everything at the party to accommodate all of the invitees.

[Hokulele]

Originally Posted by GuildJenn

I accidentally discovered a secret to RSVPs - we were having issues getting a parks permit for my son's birthday so I said "please RSVP by this date with your email or phone number so we can tell you where it is" and we got almost 100% rsvps.

This.

I highly recommend this method. DD got an invite at school for a friend's party. It said "come to the playground with Maya." They listed the date / time and what food would be available but didn't say WHICH playground. Then they wrote the same thing as PP said - "RSVP w your email / ph # for full details." Genius! That way, people DO RSVP and you don't have to wonder if stragglers will show up. And this is especially helpful if you don't have reliable contact info for the other parents.

Not that that helps you right now.

I would say assume people ARE coming until they RSVP no. It would be bad to be unprepared for a large group of kids. Sorry! And in my experience, you are lucky if even 1/2 of the invitees RSVP w/o prompting. And no response from someone is no indication of whether or not they plan to come.

[pianojazzgirl]

I will be all over the "RSVP for more details" next year, let me tell you!

A little update... we now have 5 yeses, 1 no, and 5 no responses. The party is in 4 days. Hmmm... wonder how many will actually show up...

[eepster]

Originally Posted by pianojazzgirl

A little update... we now have 5 yeses, 1 no, and 5 no responses. The party is in 4 days. Hmmm... wonder how many will actually show up...

My guess would be 8, are you taking bets?

[OkiMom]

Im guessing you will probably have a couple who just don't RSVP, it seems to be a lost art. Even for weddings, we had 30 people/couples/families RSVP for our wedding and over 80 show up, luckily we had enough food.

I def like the idea of e-mail for more details, I might use that when my girls are old enough to have an interest in parties.

[ChetMC]

My Experience

We invited the whole class to DD's sixth birthday. People RSVPed up until the day before the party.

Two kids came who did not RSVP. I sort of expected them to come though, and so I was ready for extra kids.

Only one person RSVPed that they weren't coming. The other people who didn't come didn't RSVP. Again though, the people who didn't come and didn't RSVP were kids that I didn't really expect to come.

[Polliwog]

I've never had a party, or even been to a children's party, where people showed up who never RSVPed. It happens, based on what I'm reading here, but I've never experienced that.