I don't know if my 2 year old qualifies as gifted but she in multi sentence thoughts at this points, knows her letters and can count one to one to the number 5, knows colors and could listen to books for hours (literally).
I run a home daycare with an 9 month old, 18 month old, my daughter and an almost 3 year old. In the past (with different children) my daughter did really well and didn't even demonstrate the jealousy some infants show when their moms hold other babies. When the 9 month old started as a newborn my daughter could not get enough of her and then when my DD turned 2 she had a 1.5 month period where she would yell," Go away J..." over and over when she saw me hold the baby and especially in the mornings when the mom dropped off the baby. Around the same time the 18mth old started care part time and DD acted the same way when he was dropped off. She also freaked out every time he would try to hug her or touch her. A few times he knocked her over when trying to hug her and her rxn to him got worse and worse. She settled down for awhile and had been more positive generally with him until he started coming full time. She is more testy with him, has grabbed his cheek and yells Go away at him when he is not even near her. I feel so horrible for this little boy and I'm struggling to understand my daughter's motivation. Last year when the older boy in care started coming, she reacted similarly to him only she couldn't really verbalize it then. She would just scream in fright if he got too close and avoid playing with him. Now they are best buddies and she hugs him and accepts interaction with him.
Maybe I've dealt with her reaction to the younger ones in the wrong way. I've done alot of explaining to her about how babies and young toddlers behave (pulling hair when they don't mean to, touching you to get your attention since they can't talk yet, screaming for what they want). This has been somewhat effective. I've explained that it makes their mommies feel sad when she yells at their babies and that I wouldn't want someone else yelling at her that way. There are times I've placed her somewhere by herself because she has been so verbally aggressive and has attempted to swat at the little ones or push them. She gets so angry and agitated when I do this. In frustration , I've raised my voice to her and explained that if she keeps treating them this way they will treat her the same way. She is very intense in general and needs so much stimulation to make her happy. I've tried setting aside special times for us and I've asked her if she has a hard time sharing her mommy with the little ones. She agrees to this statement. I've told her to say "Pick me up too" instead of "Go away" to the other little ones. I hoped redirecting her to focus on what she really wants and to verbalize that would help. It has helped with the baby. DD is great with her again. She just persists with this negativity toward the 18 mth old and he does nothing to provoke her except try to hug her! He's stopped doing that because of the yells he hears when he gets close to her. If I ask him if he wants ________, her immediate rxn is to state he doesn't want that. She'll say things like ___________ says go away! When I asked her why she was so upset this morning she said "_________was going to try to take me home .
I don't know whether this is a sensory issue or just a jealousy issue. Do some kids just take longer to warm up to new people? Sometimes when it gets really bad I tell her that if she wants to say something mean then don't say anything, just to be quiet. I get so frustrated hearing a torrent of negativity from her to the babies. If she gets physical I know how to handle it, but what about the verbal abuse? Should I consider time out for that? Ignore it and simply tell her I will play with her when she is ready to be nice to all her friends? Any advice about how to deal with her would be much appreciated. It makes it so much harder that her main weapon is her words.
I run a home daycare with an 9 month old, 18 month old, my daughter and an almost 3 year old. In the past (with different children) my daughter did really well and didn't even demonstrate the jealousy some infants show when their moms hold other babies. When the 9 month old started as a newborn my daughter could not get enough of her and then when my DD turned 2 she had a 1.5 month period where she would yell," Go away J..." over and over when she saw me hold the baby and especially in the mornings when the mom dropped off the baby. Around the same time the 18mth old started care part time and DD acted the same way when he was dropped off. She also freaked out every time he would try to hug her or touch her. A few times he knocked her over when trying to hug her and her rxn to him got worse and worse. She settled down for awhile and had been more positive generally with him until he started coming full time. She is more testy with him, has grabbed his cheek and yells Go away at him when he is not even near her. I feel so horrible for this little boy and I'm struggling to understand my daughter's motivation. Last year when the older boy in care started coming, she reacted similarly to him only she couldn't really verbalize it then. She would just scream in fright if he got too close and avoid playing with him. Now they are best buddies and she hugs him and accepts interaction with him.
Maybe I've dealt with her reaction to the younger ones in the wrong way. I've done alot of explaining to her about how babies and young toddlers behave (pulling hair when they don't mean to, touching you to get your attention since they can't talk yet, screaming for what they want). This has been somewhat effective. I've explained that it makes their mommies feel sad when she yells at their babies and that I wouldn't want someone else yelling at her that way. There are times I've placed her somewhere by herself because she has been so verbally aggressive and has attempted to swat at the little ones or push them. She gets so angry and agitated when I do this. In frustration , I've raised my voice to her and explained that if she keeps treating them this way they will treat her the same way. She is very intense in general and needs so much stimulation to make her happy. I've tried setting aside special times for us and I've asked her if she has a hard time sharing her mommy with the little ones. She agrees to this statement. I've told her to say "Pick me up too" instead of "Go away" to the other little ones. I hoped redirecting her to focus on what she really wants and to verbalize that would help. It has helped with the baby. DD is great with her again. She just persists with this negativity toward the 18 mth old and he does nothing to provoke her except try to hug her! He's stopped doing that because of the yells he hears when he gets close to her. If I ask him if he wants ________, her immediate rxn is to state he doesn't want that. She'll say things like ___________ says go away! When I asked her why she was so upset this morning she said "_________was going to try to take me home .
I don't know whether this is a sensory issue or just a jealousy issue. Do some kids just take longer to warm up to new people? Sometimes when it gets really bad I tell her that if she wants to say something mean then don't say anything, just to be quiet. I get so frustrated hearing a torrent of negativity from her to the babies. If she gets physical I know how to handle it, but what about the verbal abuse? Should I consider time out for that? Ignore it and simply tell her I will play with her when she is ready to be nice to all her friends? Any advice about how to deal with her would be much appreciated. It makes it so much harder that her main weapon is her words.
I'm really thankful that she has these other children around-it is so good for her in so many ways. She would be content to listen to books all day but with the other kids there she has more opportunities to play and act more her age and let loose a little. Physmom--my daughter acts similarly with my DH as well. It hurts his feelings very much. She often acts like it is fine if he withdraws his attention after being rejected. I try to remind him that she knows very well what gets our goat and the more hurt he acts she knows she's gotten a reaction.
