Scheduled for lap. surgery and don't want to do it...

[katiedidder]

My husband and I have been TTC for about 18 months now. We found out in April that he has low motility & morphology so we meet with a RE who began to schedule an IUI for us. The plan at that point was to do 3 IUI cycles w/clomid and then if that didn't work, wait until I was done with school to try again or consider IVF (i'm a midwifery student).

I had an HSG a few weeks ago as part of their normal, pre-IUI process and they discovered that my left tube is blocked (either that or I guess they can occasionally clamp down during the procedure d/t cramping). My MD strongly suggested I have a lap procedure to see if he can open the tube. He also feels that I have endo due to off-and-on bad cramps on the 1st day of my cycle. So, based on his pushing, I have the surgery scheduled in a few weeks.

I really, really don't want to do the surgery. But I feel like not doing it is saying that I'm okay with not having kids, which is not true. I've mentioned it to my partner and he feels like if I don't do it, I'll regret it, which is probably true. I just feel hugely bitter about having such a hard time getting pregnant that I have to have surgery in the process (something that I thought I'd gotten over). And also really scared of the procedure itself. My MD telling me that his "mortality rate is zero" didn't really help me feel less scared either!

Can anyone reassure me that the procedure isn't as horrible as I'm imagining it to be (from the perspective of someone who is really scared by medical procedures)?

[missme]

I really didn't want to have a laparoscopy and I put it off for 6 months. I had never had surgery (other than dental) before, and I gathered from the internet that it doesn't really help conception if there are no adhesions, endometriosis, etc. I had no symptoms of anything, I just wasn't getting prgnant. After 6 more months of trying and not conceiving, I scheduled the lap. I did it because it's free (I'm canadian) and I felt so frustrated at having no information about why i wasn't conceiving.

It wasn't that bad...I was very nervous and quite emotional about it, but the actual hospital and recovery process was not bad. I laid low for 3 days afterward, and was sore at my incisions for a couple of days after that. The evening after the surgery, I had shoulder pain for the gas they use to inflate the belly, but it didn't last long.

The surgeon found a small amount of not-very-active endometriosis, and that both tubes were open , although my right tube was less so. All in all, I didn't get much information out of it, but I'm glad I did it. I'm going to move on to IVF next, as I still haven't gotten prg in the 3 cycles following the lap, which are supposed to be the best cycles.

I probably wouldn't have done it if there was any cost to me, though. Is it covered by your insurance? As to the procedure itself, all I really have to say is ... not too bad. I took Tylenol 3 the evening after, but I really didn't need anything other than regular tylenol and naproxen after that, and I probably could have managed with out the T3 the first day. I think I was more afraid of pain than actually IN pain.

I used to be very natural - hesitant to take meds and have interventions, but I really just regard them as more steps in the process now. I NEVER thought I would go to IVF, but now I'm anxiously awaiting my consultation, because it's just what I've got to do. I try to keep my eyes on the prize, and however my children come to me, I'll do whatever it takes to get them. That doesn't mean that I don't get bitter and angry and frustrated and sad, though.

Best of luck, dear. Don't be afraid, but make the choice that feels right to you. And keep your eyes on the prize.

hugs, Mary

[katiedidder]

Thanks for the response. I'm still scheduled to have it on Tuesday, still not feeling great about it, but am going to suck it up, take some anxiety pills over the next few days, and do it.

The main reason I'm going ahead with it is that my insurance won't cover anything (literally zero dollars) for infertility procedures, but they are covering some portion of the surgery. I'm still paying around $1000 out of pocket for the surgery, but if we find out my left tube is open, or he is able to open it, it will mean we won't get halfway through an IUI cycle and then have to cancel the cycle if my left ovary is producing the egg. Since getting halfway through an IUI cycle is going to cost us about $600 with the medications and everything, it seemed worthwhile to try this first in terms of finances.

[HRJ]

I had a lap a little over a yr ago -my first. I was a surgery virgin. And I was totally scared - of the anesthesia mainly. But I just was scared I wasn't going to make it through. Surgery the first time is scary. But a lap really isn't a surgery that is too much of a big deal. I did want to have it bc I was in pain and having a lot of endo symptoms that were similiar to ovarian cancer symptoms (there's a lot of cross over). So I knew that I needed to get in there and see what was going on - nothing was coming up on my scans. Really, the worst part for me was the bowel preparation. I have hypoglycemia - so the fasting combined with the pooping your guts out the day before was not a really good combo for me. Once I made it through that, the anesthesia and surgery was a breeze. I was the first surgery of the day, and they did keep me in observation until about 5 pm. But it wasn't bc of the anesthesia or pain. I had to proove I could pee. FINALLY, the nurse at 5 pm got out this little device and put it over my bladder - it measures the amt of urine. I really didn't have any to speak of in there. She said there is a lot of fluid shifts during the surgery AND I had had the bowel prep and might have been a little dehydrated (despite the IVs). She said if I could get one tiny drop out, she'd let me leave. And I finally did. I walked right from my car back to my hotel (I used a dr out of town that did excision). And apart from the gas pain that night, I was fine. They did give me a tiny bit of morphine right when I came out of surgery and some medicines for nausea in observation that made me sleepy. Other than that, not a big deal.

[HRJ]

Also my SIL had a lap to remove endo from her tubes and she got pregnant right away after this procedure (after 3 yrs of trying). They did find her tubes were blocked during an HSG though.

[missme]

Good luck, Katiedidder. I'm thinking of you and wishing you luck as you have your laparoscopy.
xoxoxox

[christophersmom]

Good luck. A lap was all it took for me to get pregnant with my DS. It didn't work the second time around though (had the lap again in December 2009). For me, it was totally worth it both times even though it ended up not helping the second go round.

[katiedidder]

So, I had it done yesterday. They gave me some sort of anxiety med before I was even in the OR so I don't remember much of yesterday. Really the worst part was that my surgery wasn't until late afternoon and I was STARVING since they told me I could eat after 6pm the day before.

My husband talked to the doctor after the surgery and it sounds like I had very mild endo on my left ovary and either the doctor opened my left tube or it was already open (so maybe it had clamped down during my HSG). Either way that's good news! I have my postop on Tuesday so I'll find out more then.

I will say that I'm surprised at how bad my bellybutton hurts today. They gave me a shot of demerol when I left the surgery center yesterday and actually felt pretty good, but today it really, really hurts to move (even keeping up on my pain meds). The lower incision isn't too bad, but the belly button seriously feels like it's opening when I move (but it's really not as far as I can tell anyway!).

[missme]

Katiedidder, I'm glad you did it and it's done, and you have some more information! I hope your healing goes well.

xoxo

[aphel]

I had a lap Feb of '09, to diagnose and treat stage II endo.

The funny pain around the belly button will fade, but for a while it will feel kind of like someone is pulling on your navel from the inside . . . the nurse at my clinic says it's due to the stitching behind it.

Good luck Katie!