Poop Trauma - pls help

[yogababysmama]

Hello,

My daughter turns 3 in October and I have a 4 month old too, plus we moved cross-country about 2 months ago. Consequently, I hadn't put much energy into potty-training my daughter until recently, and boy I think I made a big mistake. It wasn't the right time, and I wasn't very patient with her. We've let it go until she's ready. Since that time, for a few weeks she was passing poops the size of baseballs that were clearly causing her pain. Now she is holding her poop and/or denying that she has pooped, so what little she passes is paste-like and smeared around her vagina, resulting in a terrible, painful rash. In order to change her diaper, we have to work hard to clean her. It is very invasive and painful for her, so no wonder she tries to hide the fact that she has pooped. We don't want to hurt her, but we can't let her stay dirty because the rash will worsen. Her father and I are sick over this. We don't use wipes, just wash cloths, and I have tried various ointments including triple paste and aquaphor. She drinks a lot of water and eats lots of fruit. What can we do for her?

Thanks in advance for your help.

[Violet2]

You need Miralax to get things loose and keep them that way--Target, Walmart, Walgreens should have it.

And flaxseed. Add 1/2 cup to cookies and muffins. Doing this will get your DD off the Miralax.

And lots of high fiber food such as beans.

Plus some books about pooping.

This is a psychological thing and it is normal but it needs to be managed.

Don't let this go on. If you can't resolve it, contact your ped for advice.

This link may help you (scroll down to the pooping section).

V

[Devaskyla]

Is it still hard & painful? We ended up using a glycerin suppository for ds2 when he had hard, painful to pass poo due to dehydration. The response from the bathroom was 'yippee' and we didn't have any problems with him holding it after that, either.

I completely disagree with all this high fibre stuff, since it caused dh's IBS, amoung other reasons, but I'll probably be in a minority of one on that. I think you'd be better off trying to avoid fibre completely, especially fibre from anything other than fruits & veggies, until she's sorted out.

[yogababysmama]

Thank you both for your advice. I use ground flax seed a lot and will add it to as much of her food as I can. I too am reluctant to introduce anything not food-based, but we are getting pretty desperate. On Monday we call the pediatrician.

The bigger issue at this point is the rash. She currently has a red, bleeding rash on her bottom and the poop cakes to it. Changing her diaper results in a screaming, thrashing child. I think I will resort to just sitting her in a warm bath after every dirty diaper (it doesn't seem to hurt as much, she plays and it seems to clean her adequately), rather than trying to wipe it off. I am also trying to get her to go diaper-free in between, as I think air drying might be better than slathering on all these creams and a new diaper.

I've ordered some poop books from Amazon as well as the Elmo Potty Time dvd. Hopefully that "changes her mind" about poop.

I would appreciate any more advice though! This is heartbreaking!

Thanks so much.
:c d

[JBaxter]

DS3 did poop holding during potty training and again at 5 ( he decided he didnt like to poop so he stopped Well THAT didnt work)

My ped recommended 2 oz of prune juice ever day mix it with what ever you need to but 2 oz every day we did 2oz of prune to 2-4oz of apple. Fresh pears, canned pears and pear juice ( knudsen does pear juice in boxes a SUPER treat here)

I hated doing so much pear & prune juice but it was necessary for a while.

I also did flax seed oil daily. Miralax wold have been our next step. The prune juice keeps the poop soft which is key. I found that a little vasoline on the anus before pooping helped

I bought special water bottles that he liked to help with the water intake -- he drank more out of his fun camelback bottle.

[lifeguard]

You've mentioned you've used creams - are you putting them on her clean bum/vulva in a fairly thick layer? That should help protect her skin a bit better & make it easier to clean.

I'd definitely go nakey as much as possible so it can heal up.

[sofrito]

Re: the rash. Have you tried Triple Paste? It is fairly expensive, but it has worked miracles when my daughter's had a bad rash. Open sores improved literally within hours. I put a fairly thick layer on, and when I'm changing her diaper, I only really need to wipe off the paste rather than her skin so diaper changes are infinitely less painful. If you use cloth, it will stain microfibers, but I've used it on cotton prefolds with no stains whatsoever. Good luck!

[shanniesue2]

have you done very much naked time with her? It can help with the potty training as well as helping that rash air out a bit.

[yogababysmama]

Trauma Update

Thanks everyone for the advice. We have been giving her pear juice (which she loves of course) and ground flax seed, and using Triple Cream liberally with every diaper change. Unfortunately her rash has gotten a lot worse. This may be because the cream is supposed to be applied to dry skin, and her skin is oozing and I cannot really dry her well without it hurting her. So I think the cream is just sticking to her diaper and not protecting her skin. She seems to constantly leak loose stool, rather than having distinct bms. She went diaper free for about 1/2 hr today, but then insisted on wearing a diaper. We are going to take her to the doctor tomorrow.

[Devaskyla]

That almost sounds like she has an impaction. I think taking her to the dr is a very wise move.

[Sharon, RN]

Typing quick from my phone- I agree, constantly leaking def sounds like an impacting. As far as the rash- do you have a medical supply store nearby? The trick with the butt cream is 2-fold: if you can get your hands on some ostomy powder (used for colostomies, etc) and dust her rash with it first, then the butt paste will stick. 2nd, put on a thick layer (1/4 inch) and only wipe off the soiled part, then reapply to 1/4 inch thick. You should only need to wipe it all off down to her skin 1-2 times a day. When you do, then let her go naked for as long as you can.

I'll

[Sharon, RN]

Sounds like an impaction, I meant! Def talk to your ped asap. Good luck mama, and I hope she's feeling better soon!

[Neera]

We are in the same boat in many ways. She has passed huge, hard poops in the past that have totally frightened her. "It is very invasive and painful for her, so no wonder she tries to hide the fact that she has pooped." Same here and because of that fear she won't ask for a pullup to poop in - it makes her vulnerable since that would be letting us know that she is pooping/pooped. I have posted on this in the past and recently to help her relearn to poop in a potty/toilet. Basically the only thing that has helped soften her poop is Pedialax (gummies). At first we started with a 1/4 cap of Miralax and 2 gummies a day. Soon, she wanted more gummies and she was having about 6 plus the Miralax. Gradually, we stopped the Miralax (upon consulting with the specialist) and she is on 2-6 pedialax gummies a day. She now wants just 1 as she says she doesn't want too much poop. She gets rashes on and off even though she is in panties all day, usually when we are cleaning her poop and Burts Bees Diaper Rash ointment works well but your dc seems to have something more severe.

to u. I know how difficult it is and of course with a recent move it must be crazy. all the best with it. let us know how the dr's appt goes.

[yogababysmama]

Drs Orders

So we took our daughter to the pediatrician yesterday and here is his recommendation (appt took all of 5 mins, and he said toddlers holding their poop is the #1 most common problem he sees for the age group): Doc recommended that we apply Maalox as a topical treatment for her rash (as an antacid, it neutralizes the chemicals in the poop that are "digesting" her skin), let it air dry, and give her 1/2 cap of Miralax in her favorite drink every night before bed. I am still applying Triple Paste at night before bed, since I figure she needs the barrier for the long night. He is also referring us to Potty University at the local hospital, for the psychological aspect of her not wanting to go. Since her appt yesterday, she has had one "normal" poop and less leakage, so that already was an improvement. She hasn't pooped at all since then, but she hasn't been leaking either. Her rash is slowly improving. It still looks pretty bad, but it is drying out some. Her attitude is a little better too-- it seems to hurt her less, so changing her diaper is not so terrifying for her. I am not thrilled about giving her a laxative, but I want to get her closer to normal then I will focus on giving her more fiber in her food. I can't believe how stressful this has been! Thank you everyone for your advice. Hopefully, things will be easier for my son. At least I won't push him to potty train, as I think that's what started all of this in the first place (that, and the move. oh, and his birth! poor big sister, she's had a lot of changes in the last 4 months).