Don't feel guilty about the baby either. You did what you could for him. And allowed him to be placed where he could get the care you couldn't give him. Thirteen years ago, I was newly married when my son's children were taken away from him. He called asking me to take custody of them. But at that time I just didn't think I could help him. For one they were over 1000 miles away from me. Secondly his wife's family claimed they wanted the children and they had a great deal of money to fight things out in court. And, like I said, I was newly married. How could I ask my brand new husband to take on two small children who had probably been sexually abused and all the trauma that went with being removed form their parents and placed in foster care. I felt a lot of guilt over that. But I did the best I could under the circumstances. That's all any of us can do, the best we can under the circumstances.
I hope for the best for all of us.
Silverbird, I'm sure your husband made the best decision for himself as he could. I have often said that I do not think I would go through chemo again if my cancer returns. But then I have this little boy and well shall we say less than perfect husband, who I would not want to leave my son with. So I need to kick and fight and scream to stay alive at least until he is old enough to take care of himself. Fortunately so far, this has not been an issue. Hopefully the cancer will never return.
Be well my friends.