Where are your naked DDs hands while nursing?

[LCBMAX]

There's no way to be delicate about this - just curious if your dd's hands ever go south when nursing the way boys' hands do...

He's old enough now that I am beginning to make myself a little uncomfortable with the self-touching, maybe because there's such an obvious result.

I don't believe it's sexual, just sensual, and so far I just try to ignore it. And it's not always, mostly during some of the comfort daytime nursing.

He's so often naked that it would make it an issue if I were to get underwear on him before nursing.

So as I tried to reassure myself, I was wondering - do girls do this too??? Just asking, not really sure why...

[Amber Lion]

My DD does this sometimes. It started when she was going naked more and more often for the PLing process, I think b/c now that there wasn't a diaper blocking her she had a new body part to explore. I agree that it seems sensual and I'm hesitant to put a negative association to it, however it does make me a little uncomfortable.

So far I've just tried to tell her that it's something nice she can do when she's alone and redirect her or ignore it, depending on how I'm feeling about it. It doesn't usually last very long.

I'd love to hear other perspectives b/c I'm not really sure the best way to respond to it.

[tabrizia]

DD's hands go right down to her vulva if I am nursing her while she is naked. I just tell her and move her hands that vulva time is private time and it is not appropriate while nursing. I don't care if she explores when she is in the bathtub or her room or even in the living room as she is running around naked, but I am trying to make sure she knows there are appropriate times for exploration and nursing is not one of them. I have told DS the same, though he isn't naked when nursing since he only nurses when he goes to bed or wakes up at this point in time.

[gagin37]

ds does that, and it makes me twitchy for some reason. We have a 'no playing with your penis while you nurse' rule. Any other time is ok if he's naked, but not while he's going to nurse.

[ShyDaisi]

I know you asked specifically about girls, but just wanted to add that my son doesn't do that. I wonder if he is the odd one out...Usually when he is nursing, his hands are on my breast. When he was younger, he used to knead it (I figured he was helping out the flow), but now it is just the place he rests them.

[LCBMAX]

See, I guess that's the thing I'm questioning for us... Like tabrizia and gagin37 are doing, setting the limit on the touching while nursing... but you both let your kids know that it's fine in other situations...

It makes me twitchy or something too, but I'm hesitant to put that limit on my son because I'm preeettttty sure that the twitchiness is just about my preconceptions and limited comfort levels. The possibility exists that my twitchiness is from an intuitive response that it's truly not appropriate for parent/ child interactions, but I'm still thinking that it's just from me and my limitations.

And if that's true, I'd rather adjust me than him. (BTW I have no judgement about your choice to set the limit, regardless of the cause.)

Are you all getting any clues to help you make that distinction?

[SubliminalDarkness]

He's over 2? At 2, I start to see it as more behavioral, and that's an age where I would start encouraging any private touching to happen in private. While nursing is not in private.

My boys never did this, either, so I don't think it's a "boy" thing either. Sounds like just something some babies do, some don't.

[healthy momma]

Just a quick flip side response. My DS has done this since very early on and it doesn't bother me in the least. I've just ignored it whether he was nursing or just playing naked (which is most of the time!). Sometimes he does it, sometimes he doesn't. We won't nurse forever (28 months now) and I think it is just a perfectly natural thing and nothing to stress about.

[crunchy_mommy]

Well I don't have a real answer to your question... but I don't feel comfortable nursing a naked baby. Maybe that's nuts, I don't know, and I certainly see nothing wrong with someone else doing so, but when I nurse DS we both need to be covered. We're still in diapers so I tell him if he wants to nurse he needs to put on a diaper... or if I just got out of the shower & he needs to nurse, I wrap myself in a towel first. Even when he was newbown I wrapped his bottom half in a blanket if he was naked & needed to nurse. So I don't know if something on that idea would work for you too -- just ask him to wrap a towel/blanket around himself when it's time to nurse (which would automatically discourage the touching while nursing), which could even just be a way to be more 'snuggly' while nursing.

Regardless of whether you choose to handle it by not nursing naked or asking him to only touch in private or some other way, I don't think it matters if it's some kind of intuitive reaction or if it's just your specific discomfort with it. If you aren't comfortable with it, there's no reason to let it continue, even if every other mom in the world is comfortable with it. We all have our own boundaries, some (like me) are more extreme than others, and I'd look at this as an opportunity to teach him to respect others' boundaries & comfort levels.