Not school but full.....

[CCJWGM]

Breathe in full.....breathe out school. I need some unschooler help.

Background. I have a 3 y.o. boy and a 4 (nearly 5) girl. They help with chores if they want to, we get them involved with our life, they help with the chickens, they play outside for endless hours, I read to them until my voice is hoarse, we snuggle, we play.

But I still need help. DD loves "activities." I have some craft books and Seasons of Joy. But she is really wanting to learn learn learn and thrives on a few structured activities a day. I also noticed doing small structured (but not schooly) activities helps them not fight and helps our day go by.

But I'm out of ideas. I have gathered internet resources galore but can't seem to translate them to our life. I need hard copy books to actually get things done.

This confuses my husband who can come up with games and activities from the top of his head out of the blue. But he is gone 9 hrs/day and I have to fill out day up with something. But both DH and I are adamant about no school.

So what do I do with my kids all day to fill in the "gaps." The rainy season is around the corner and I'm kind of stressed about it. this uncreative (in that area) mama just needs help.

Can someone suggest books of games (clapping, penny, dice, etc) or activity books I can use to fill in the gaps? Learning isn't the point. If it happens it's a happy biproduct. I am just nearly desperate to entertain two small children for 9 hrs/day. I don't want to turn to preschool curriculums because that is school. HELP!

[SagMom]

For arts and crafts ideas: Art For Children by Fenella Brown

For games and songs: Fun on the Run by Joanna Cole (this is written with car travel in mind, but there are plenty of ideas that can work at home.)

For general stuff to do: Family Fun Boredom Busters: 365 Games, Crafts and Activities for Every Day of the Year

[zeldamomma]

I guess I'm not sure what you mean by "schooly" but at that age, my girls enjoyed the Young Scientist kits, Monopoly Jr., Cranium Hullaballoo, and library storytimes.

[CCJWGM]

My personal belief is very Waldorfy in that you shouldn't give a child academics before age 7. It's the age of play, natural discovery, and "being". I'm trying to balance my belief in that with keeping my children occupied and it's becoming a little hard. By "schooly" I mean no worksheets, more imagination, more doing, and less "teaching"

The books Sagmom listed is the kind of stuff I'm looking for. Ideas for activities. Not worksheets and toys. I want to "play" with my children but I've long lost my lust for play and need gentle reminders on helping them have a magical childhood.

[zeldamomma]

From what I've read, your dd is looking for more learning in her day, but you don't want to provide anything that you'd consider academics until she is more than 2 years older than she is right now, is that right?

Very gently, the unschooling approach does not tell kids they must or must not learn things based on their age.

FWIW, most of what I suggested were games-- I know they aren't wooden, but they aren't worksheets or "teaching", and even the science kits aren't worksheets (there is some teaching in them, I suppose, but only because my kids couldn't read the information themselves)-- they're more like project kits. We used them as an interesting diversion. Especially at that age, we aimed to treat all activities equally, whether or not it would be considered to be academic in a school setting.

I'm glad Sagmom had some suggestions you liked.

[raelize]

from the waldorf family that i know (and they are 3rd generation teachers, the grandfather trained with Steiner) if a child is asking for learning at age 5, that is great and they should be taught. the teachers don't push at all until age 7, but most of their students are reading before age 7, and if a child is asking for lessons they teach them. they say you follow the pace set by the child, let them have their play and discovery period, but if they are asking then that means they have progressed, it doesn't mean you should withhold lessons.

[greenthumb3]

Whoever said it was up to you to keep them busy for 9 hours a day?
It's healthy to let children 'be bored' so they can exercise their
imaginations and think of things on their own. It's is okay! Give yourself
the permission to relax.

In other cultures and also in the past, children were part of a large family with
aunts, cousins, grandparents and others who they would rotate spending time with.

Moms are wonderful (yes!!) but our children do well having regular interactions
with other caring adults and children.
l
Developing a routine that is natural for you is key right now. That is really wonderful
that you invite your children into
your life rather than trying to create a child-life for you all. You are all in this together!

Have you considered arranging playdates
by inviting another family over for an hour or so for snacks and play?
That was what motivatd me when my two oldest were your little one's ages.
It made me plan and put things together. Co-op preschools (where the "lessons"
are just a craft or story) or playgroups are
another idea if you want to talk with 2 or 3 other mothers near you with
little ones close in age to your own and create your own circle.

Have fun and include other people in your days from time to time and
it may surprise you how motivating and re-energizing it can be for all of you!
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[2xy]

I understand that everyone has their own personal philosophy. Mine is that kids should get what they need and what suits them. If a 5yo is interested in phonics and workbooks (like my DS1 was), then I provide those things for them. Part of my issue with traditional schooling is that kids are expected to do things according to age. I don't bring that mentality into my household.

Unschooling is not about shunning textbooks and worksheets. It's about kids deciding how they want to learn. If you are following a Waldorf philosophy, then I don't think it's really unschooling, because you (and not the children) are making the decisions.

[goddessjulia]

I'm right there with ya mama, only with 3 and my days without dh are a bit longer I'm trying to figure out how to get through the day every. single. day. without enough for the kids to do... I agree with the post about it being good for kids to get bored, they do benefit from figuring out something to do themselves. otoh, when they are wee especially they can need some help. and also, are *you* bored? I know I am!!

I also agree that if the almost-5-y.o. wants schoolish fun, let her have it, and there are tons of great websites out there she can poke around on. I fall back on tv far too often for my own preference, but I'm working on streamlining the rest of my obligations so I can be more available to "strew" and as their facilitator.

that said, here's some of what I'm trying to add in: cooking, nature walks, sewing, painting, knitting, yoga. to be clear, I mean strewing for them, and doing for me-- these are activities I want more of, and they are invited to participate, and welcome to not. I expect them to want to participate at least some, and I'm hoping a rhythm (a la waldorf) will emerge.

it's definitely hard being everything for a range of ages without other adults to share in the responsibilities! be gentle with yourself as you find your way, and trust that eventually, you will

[annakiss]

Have you seen the Janice VanCleeve books? She has lots of science projects, but most of them are so darned simple that you can do them anywhere. You don't have to talk about the goal of it. You can just do it.

We also collect items that look like they might be good for crafting and make things. I'm big on sticks and rocks and dirt as essential for growing kids. Mostly I just do what I find interesting and they follow. Or don't.

There's always lots to cook too, so I would think that could be fairly endless. Try Salad People by Mollie Katzen or her other books for children. There's also Roald Dahl's Revolting Recipes. I just browse the non-fiction section in the library and pull out shloads of things. We don't always use it all, but, you know, it works. Oh! Sunflower Houses, Roots, Shoots, Buckets, and Boots, and Toad Houses and Shooting Stars are all books by Sharon Lovejoy that are filled with neat ideas for outdoor play. Also finding a good blog that you can follow regularly gives enough sometimes ideas. Some blogs are a little much on the overload side like "how are these people doing this much?!!"

We just like to mix it up. One day we do nothing, one day we do an "activity" (or used to when my kids cared), one day we go to a museum, one day we volunteer, one day we hike, one day we run errands... Okay, all the other days we mostly hang around the house. All our convoluted activities happen in winter.

[CCJWGM]

Thank you for your responses everyone.

I'm also dealing with frustrations which are far greater than I can list. I think I need to unschool, unWaldorf, and uninternet myself. I probably need to do nothing but soul search. I don't think the answers I need can be found in a book, just myself. My children are only in the dreaded "preschool" yet I'm burned out. Something is wrong.

That is why I decided "full, not school." I want to take school out of my life because it's driven me crazy and burned me out. I also need to relax and realize that being not perfect is okay.

So thanks everyone. Bear with me. I'm desperately trying to get this unschooling thing. When I do soul search my self tells me it's important for me to "get" it. I know my hubby does. I just need to let everything else go.......

[Greenmama2]

Hugs mama. 9 hours a day is a loooooooooooooooong time. Well, it is to me and my children. Yes, it doesn't have to be up to me to entertain them all the time but it sure helps to have a couple of things a day up my sleeve for my "activity" loving four year old. What I find is that if I set something up DD will jump right into it then after a minute or ten it starts to morpg into her version of it. Colouring turns into drawing on herself, cutting shapes into making confetti etc at that point I practice "fading" and leave her to it If I didn't set up the activity in the first place though, the free play that follows doesn't happen.
Unschooling/unwaldorfing/uninternetting sounds like a great idea. Good luck with that.

[Stacey B]

We're big into projects around here. It might be a day of baking or science experiments, or (this is going on as I type) blanket forts. Beyond that we have a bunch of manipulative for math and LA but we just use them as we feel like it. Ds love "school books" ever since he found one on a table at the bookstore, so we have some maze books and a few letter learning ones that he can pick up when he wants. We go out a lot around the neighborhood, and anywhere we can bike, so maybe we're reading the same books but at a coffee shop or down by the river.

I guess my suggestion is to follow their lead, they know what they really need right now.

[SagMom]

Originally Posted by beezer75

It's the age of play, natural discovery, and "being".

I agree--this feels right to me. And, it felt right to two of my kids. The other, however, was never much into playing or pretend--at a very young age, she wanted to do REAL work, wanted to learn to read and write, wanted to have serious discussions, to learn to knit and sew and cook etc. It would have felt very wrong to me to NOT help her do these things. I couldn't have put a theory above what she herself felt, kwim? It didn't mean that we pulled out workbooks and had school-at-home but it did mean I had to put aside what I thought she should be doing in favor of what she needed to be doing.

I also don't think you need to provide entertainment all day long. But I did find it helpful at those ages, to have some ideas to offer as well as supplies. Sometimes it was as simple as, "Here's an empty cardboard box...what could we do with this?" and off they'd go. Other times, it was making sure that we had the ingredients to make play-dough and reminding them of the recipe. Often, they would join in with whatever I was doing--gardening, crafts, ect.

I don't think you can go wrong if you look to your own kids to find what they need. It might not be what you think they need or what some book says they need, but that's okay.