Plenty of fish (online dating questions)

[Mama Soltera]

Has anyone here used the plenty of fish dating website. If so, what did you think? Someone recommended it to me because it's free.

I haven't done online dating but keep getting encouraged to do so, so I thought I'd find out what to expect if I choose to. Do you have an online profile that the general public can access? If someone googles you, will they find you there, whether they can open the page or not? Exactly how many creepy people/situations have come up for you ladies? I think I have more questions but those are the only ones coming to mind for now. I will add more later.

[the sunshine]

I didn't like plenty of fish, the website is really bad, busy, hard to navigate, too many ads.
I like okcupid, it's free and I've met a few people already. You can make your profile private, you DO NOT USE YOUR REAL NAME and people can't google to find you there.

i've had just two or three guys message me with things like "would you like to see my penis?" and you can just block those jerks. Overall, it's ok.

[One_Girl]

I didn't like plenty of fish either. There were too many people trolling for sex. I like okcupid because I rarely get that there. They may be trolling but they aren't as blatant about it.

[mimim]

Another vote for OKCupid if you decide to try out online dating. I tried Plenty of Fish a few years ago and got nothing out of it. Anybody who contacted me was gross. I met a lot of people through OKCupid though and some of them were pretty cool. Most of them didn't "stick", but it was still fun sometimes.

Nobody will get your profile by googling your name, only your user name on the site. Use a user id that you don't use elsewhere and you'll be fine. You can just ignore creeps like you would if some creepy dude said something to you on the street. Don't post any pics or statements that are overtly sexy and most of the sex trolls will leave you alone. And be very selective in who you choose to communicate with or you will probably end up going on a bunch of disappointing dates.

[kblackstone444]

Go with OkCupid. PlentyofFish is just a thinly disguised sex sight, for most the people there. OkCupid is so much better, though my horrible ex is on there, so you might want to avoid any "poets from the Bronx". lol

[GranoLLLy-girl]

Originally Posted by kblackstone444

Go with OkCupid. PlentyofFish is just a thinly disguised sex sight, for most the people there. OkCupid is so much better, though my horrible ex is on there, so you might want to avoid any "poets from the Bronx". lol

Note to self: avoid poets...avoid the Bronx.

LOL--just thought that was funny!

[kblackstone444]

Originally Posted by GranoLLLy-girl

Note to self: avoid poets...avoid the Bronx.

LOL--just thought that was funny!

It crossed my mind... my baby would be better off with a MDC Stepmama, but then my conscious kicked in... I wouldn't wish him on my worst enemy. lol

Okay, thread hijack over... carry on...

[Mama Soltera]

Originally Posted by kblackstone444

though my horrible ex is on there, so you might want to avoid any "poets from the Bronx

lol! Luckily I'm in CA, so I don't think that'll be an issue. I also would like to avoid even finding out my ex is on any of these sites. Thanks for the warning on plenty of fish. That was the feeling I got from looking at the main page, so I'm glad my instincts were right. You're also selling me on OKcupid. If I can get brave enough, I will try it.

So, the screen name can be anything and you only have to reveal your real name in emails? Will all kinds of random people be able to see a picture of you or do you get matched up first? I really have no idea how these things work.

[mimim]

Originally Posted by Mama Soltera

lol! Luckily I'm in CA, so I don't think that'll be an issue. I also would like to avoid even finding out my ex is on any of these sites. Thanks for the warning on plenty of fish. That was the feeling I got from looking at the main page, so I'm glad my instincts were right. You're also selling me on OKcupid. If I can get brave enough, I will try it.

So, the screen name can be anything and you only have to reveal your real name in emails? Will all kinds of random people be able to see a picture of you or do you get matched up first? I really have no idea how these things work.

Random people can see your pics. I have recognized and been recognized by strangers in public from there before. That's a little freaky.

[MadameXCupcake]

I have never heard of OKCupid but I'll check it out eventually. Plenty Of fish, well you really have to weed out guys that are no good. I met my exbf on there and we were together 15 months, most of it good, but the more recent of it bad. I know my exhusband met his current girlfriend on it and they have been together over a year.

Funny story about pof[plenty of fish] I was talking for a few weeks to this pretty cool guy and we were talking about my daughter and he was like oh my son is three days younger! And I thought it was funny a little bit and asked his sons name, and it took a minute to click but I was like WOW! My exh girlfriend has a son with that same name that is the same age as my DD, Turned out it was my exh girlfriends exh. LOL

[Mama Soltera]

Originally Posted by mimim

Random people can see your pics. I have recognized and been recognized by strangers in public from there before. That's a little freaky.

Are you talking about pof or okcupid?

[Oh the Irony]

Originally Posted by Mama Soltera

Are you talking about pof or okcupid?

She's talking about both. Your picture is public and anyone that signs on or does a search for someone in your age range can see it. You do have the option of not putting up a picture but you will see a lot less in terms of contacts.

I think with e-harmony people don't see your picture right away. I don't like e-harmony though--they don't let gay people join.

And yeah, I've heard that POF can vary depending upon region but around here it is pretty skanky. OKCupid tends to get a hipper and sometimes more intellectual crowd.

Match draws in more professionals. You can search there without paying to see what you think of members--just remember to be looking for ones that are actually online. Your results may get you people who haven't been members in a long time.

I haven't had anything really creepy happen with online dating--I did notice guys who seemed very needy and want to instantly attach, but I found a couple guys that I dated for awhile.

Do be aware though that the context of online dating is different. People of course put their best foot forward in their listing. And when you meet with the intent of dating they also put their ideal self forward--as you will too. That image might not be the daily reality at all.

When you meet someone out and about in daily life things happen more organically. You may know mutual friends or may have know them for awhile through a club or mutual interests.

My advice would be to believe what people do--not what they say.

[butterfly1976]

I think people are just people. You can meet good or bad people online, church, set ups from friends, etc. It's part of the dating jungle. I met a few nice men from pof. Nothing became forever, but I don't recall anyone insane. LOL

Think about your pic and what kind of profile you put up. I am truly amazed that some women will put a pic up bending over showing everything then complain that men are only after sex. Some men can get pushy and then wonder why a woman ignores his calls. *rolls eyes*

My advice is be safe all the way. Meet in a public place. I NEVER let a man know where I lived. He had my email and phone number and that was it. If you're not feeling it, then don't go out with him again. Just have fun with it. It's suppose to be fun, isn't it? *smiles*

[Mama Soltera]

Thank you both so much for your insights and advice. It's all very helpful.

Originally Posted by Oh the Irony

I think with e-harmony people don't see your picture right away. I don't like e-harmony though--they don't let gay people join.

I was actually considering going with them until I heard that. Now, not in a million years. I'm not seeing how that is even legal.