He Doesnt Let Me Brush His Teeth!

[AnnaNova]

so my son (19 mo) used to be really mellow about teeth brushing, when he was younger, we had one of those finger toothbrushes and he always let us do it (i also think it felt good on his gums while he was teething). now he doesnt let us brush his teeth at all!!! he takes the toothbrush and just basically chews on it, and thats his "tooth brushing". i tried wetting a cloth and brushing his teeth that way, but he doesnt really open his mouth, i have to force it, and then he cries.
i tried to brush his teeth while he was holding the toothbrush, i just put my hand over his and directed it. it worked twice and now he doesnt let me anymore.
i wouldnt be obscessing about it too much, but his fron teeth have some brown on it, and i dont want them to rot away!

[peainthepod]

My 22-month-old son doesn't let me either, but I do it anyway. It's my least favorite time(s) of the day.

I do try to make a game out of it. I got him a fun giraffe toothbrush and I use a delicious fluoride-free toothpaste that he likes (just a tiny smear, because he ends up swallowing it all). And I always offer to let him hold the toothbrush and do it himself. But if he resists, and he always does, I put him on my lap, hold his arms down with one arm, and brush his teeth with the other hand. He cries every time.

Oral hygiene is not optional in our house, and to be fair he fights it less and less as he gets older. Usually he cries and screams for maybe five seconds and then starts giggling around the foam. I sing to him while we brush and tell him we're getting the "bugs" out of his teeth so they'll be strong and white and healthy. I end it by holding him up to the mirror and letting him suck water out of the rinsed toothbrush. It's time-consuming and exhausting but his teeth need to get clean one way or the other, and I like to think that I'm at least helping him understand that it's part of our routine and we will do it every day, twice a day, no matter what.

[NorthernPixie]

It often worked with my daughter if she had her own toothbrush to handle while I brushed with a second one. It was crowded in her mouth for sure, but that helped. Every time we brushed she could pick which of the two toothbrushes she would use and I would use the other. Yes, we went through a lot more toothbrushes and paste that way (we use the Weleda tooth gel) but it was worth it for not having to battle her.

[crunchy_mommy]

My system has been -- give 19mo DS a toothbrush to hold/chew while I brush my teeth. He watches me brush & sometimes brushes on his own (loves to imitate!) Then when I'm done with my teeth I ask him what song he wants me to sing, and I sing whatever song he chooses (lately the elephant song or the daddy song I made up) while I brush his teeth. Then when we're done he gets to spit in the sink & put his toothbrush back himself.

He sometimes protests a bit initially but once I start he's happy & usually wants 'more' when I'm done!

Music/singing is a big motivator for DS though... if your son isn't super excited about music, I'd try something else -- read a book while you brush, or watch a youtube clip, or dance for him as you do it -- whatever he really really enjoys.

[shanniesue2]

DS is 2.5 and has NEVER cooperated with tooth brushing (well, a few times he cooperated when I tried brushing the monkeys out of his teeth while making monkey noises... but that only last a few days). We've even gotten him an electric tooth brush. The other day he noticed that the electric toothbrush is "like a helicopter" so for the past few days he's been letting me "helicopter" his teeth. Once he asked me to do a train (brushing without using the motor). This is going well so far. Next week we may be back to restraining.

[Honey693]

Is he really into anything? My DD is crazy about dogs and we buy toothbrushes with Snoopy on them. It helped a ton b/c she gets really excited for doggy brush time.

[PeachBaby]

These three that I rotate are working well for us:

1. Singing a song

2. Telling him we need to brush (whatever he had for the prior meal)
"Oh, I see peach in there! We'd better brush it out. Oh, and what is THAT in there? Broccoli! You're going to have green teeth! Let's get that out too. And is that zucchini I see?........

3. Asking him about parts of his body (usually upper part):
"Can you pat your head? How about pulling your hair? Now can you find your eyebrows? And your eyelashes? Great! How about pinching your ears? Tickle your chin. Point to your nose now.......
This one works the best for us at the moment, and if I don't want him to resist the toothbrushing with one hand, I'll go for the body parts that have a pair, like ears. It keeps his hands occupied.

[Halfasianmomma]

My DD has enamel hypoplasia (her enamel is porous and prone to cavities), has had surgery under general anesthesia (at 20 months) to fix 8 teeth and cap all her molars. I simply cannot let her get away with not brushing her teeth because that kind of neglect may have rather drastic consequences. I bought her two vibrating Dora toothbrushes (which she chose): one for at home and one for daycare.

We do things one of two ways:
1) the easy way: DD stands on the toilet bowl and sings the alphabet up to where she knows it (right now "G"), which gives me tons of time to really thoroughly clean her teeth. Her reward is to spit repeatedly into the sink and wipe her face on a special towel.
2) the hard way: When I first started on the toothbrushing regiment, DD was NOT happy, and she'd fight with all her might. So, I'd lie her down on her little foam fold out couch and I'd *sit* on top of her--not putting all my weight on her of course, over her arms so she couldn't fight me, and I'd hold her face with one hand while brushing her teeth with the other, emulating the vowel sounds i wanted her to make to have proper access to her teeth.

The hard way sucks for all involved so as DD has gotten older (she's 26 months now), she has chosen to do it the easy way. Sometimes, we do have to revert to the hard way if DD is being difficult. It sounds cruel, but as I said, DD's teeth HAVE to be cleaned everyday, 3 times a day. The surgery was pretty traumatic and I don't want to have to do it again!

[swd12422]

I used to brush DS's teeth while holding him in my lap. That way I could get an arm around the back of his head/neck to hold him still and do it quick. Then he decided he didn't like being so confined and I let him stand on the step stool in front of the sink. He brushes with water only first, then I put toothpaste on and have "my turn." That's been working great for several months now, and all of a sudden, he's asking to sit in my lap again. Either way, it gets the job done. Maybe giving your LO a choice of places/positions would help? Could he sit on the counter next to the sink?

Also, DS now has a toothbrush that lights up. You push the bottom and it flashes a colored light for a couple of minutes while you brush. (It's supposed to be an indicator to slight older kids -- you have to keep brushing til the light stops flashing and then you know you've brushed "long enough."

[AnnaNova]

thank to all for great suggestions, i will try ...my son like the "idea" of teeth brushing. i tell him "lets go brush teeth" and he runs to the bathroom and stands up on his little stepping stool and "brushes" which means he chews on the brush and won't let me come close... ill try things described above, hopefully it will help!
thanks again!

[cdmommie]

I use a second toothbrush to get in there while they 'brush' themselves. And when we are done, if they cooperated, they each get a coin to put in the penny bank.

[Twinklefae]

If DS doesn't let us brush his teeth, we do it anyway. Oral hygiene is not optional, though I try to make it as fun as possible. (We take turns, I sign songs, we chant 'up up up, down down down' while I brush in the front, we opera sing big 'ahh' etc etc.)

We went through about 6 months where DS had to be held down everyday twice a day to have his teeth brushed. It was not fun. But it was necessary. I'm really glad he's outgrown that now!

[onyxravnos]

DS had a hard time with this it took about 8 months of making it non-negotiable which included forcing it if i had to at bed time. It helped a bit that I would tell 'one more top one more bottom' which meant just that and then it's over.

now at 3 1/2 it is rarely a fight but it did take some time.

[LadyCatherine185]

my DS has also always faught tooth brushing as well, but he developed cavities (6+) at age 17 months that had to be filled under general anesthesia. We don't do juice, sweets, junk food, etc and always brushed his teeth and he still got the cavities.

If your DS already has brown spots on his teeth, he should see a dentist, because they are probably cavities.

For a long time it took 2 of us to brush his teeth, one to hold him down and the other to brush. It is non-negotiable. We can't spend another $2000 to have his teeth fixed again.

Just in the last couple weeks he has been a LOT more compliant and letting us brush his teeth. it will get better, but in the meantime I would make sure his teeth get brushed.

[FLmommyathome]

My DS was a fighter, too. What has made ALLLLL the difference is we gave him one of our toothbrushes with no paste and we let him brush our teeth while we brushed his teeth. And he started to mimic wherever we would brush in his mouth in our mouth. Then we moved onto his teeth only and just reminded him of when he watched us do our teeth earlier, but we take turns doing his teeth. Mama (or Daddy) gets a turn first and then he gets a turn. And we ask him, "Did I miss a spot? Can you help me and tell me where to brush? For his turn, we count to 20 and then he can spit and rinse his own brush. This took a month or so, but now we NEVER have a battle and he will remind us about his teeth if we are rushing and forget.
Oh, and he loves Elmo- and sesamestreet.org has an elmo game where you help Elmo brush his teeth. And he will do it over and over (with our help). So, and elmo toothbrush and reminding him that Elmo brushes his teeth was also a part of our initial trials.

[KristyDi]

1. Since there are brown spots, see a dentist ASAP. I put it off and we're now looking at $2000 of dental work for my 2yo DD.

2. My dentist, who is amazing with kids, taught us the "knee to knee." You and your DP would need to both be available for teeth brushing though. My DD refuses to lay down in the dental chair so far. So rather than fight her, she sits in my lap facing me straddling my legs. I sit so my knees touch the dentist's or hygienist's. Then I take dd's hands and lay her back so her head is in the other person's lap. Then they can work in her mouth.

3. We get DD to make animal sounds to get her to open her mouth. She roars like a lion. I do it with her and really exaggerate the wide open mouth.

[Purplegal]

My DD was like this for a loooong time. Someone suggested to me to have her lay on the floor and I sit above her head and brush her teeth that way...just like in a dentist chair. For a long time I had to use my legs to pin down her arms to do it....yea, not much fun. After awhile though it became routine with no fuss and we still do it that way at 4 yrs old (at night, in the morning she is allowed to brush her own teeth).
We used bribery to help..."no fit for teeth brushing and you get 3 books for bedtime, etc.."

[peainthepod]

I just wanted to thank the mamas who suggested having him lie down on the floor and brushing his teeth like a dentist, and having him open wide "like an opera singer" to do it. He actually enjoys letting me brush his teeth now! I can't believe the difference. Thank you so, so, so much!

[elizaMM]

We did the on-the-floor head-between-parent's-legs arms-under-legs routine for a long time. He still screamed, so when there were two of us I would lay on the floor next to him and read him a story with the book upside down above our heads. Sometimes I'd do a dance or sing a song or both. He liked that :-) I went on a retreat for a week and daddy got him hooked on a video. No more screaming! He is 2.5 and I think it'll still be a while before he lets us. But maybe I should try...

[ellemenope]

I think this is one of those things you have to constantly adapt and come up with new creative things to geet the job done.

We have done many of the above suggestions but they usually only work for a month or two and then we have to move on.

Here are some more ideas:

Pretend like you don't know what to brush, but then keep going back to the teeth. "Do I brush your nose?" "Do I brush your elbow?" Then, we'd get, "Mommy do my elbow again, and we'd say, "first your teeth."

DD was really into robots and vampires for awhile, and it worked to say I saw them in her mouth and i had to brush them out.

Right, now telling her she has bad breath works. I have her blow her breath on me and I feign disgust and tell her, "you don't want all the babies at the library to smell your bad breath, do you?" She is now coming up to me whenever we leave the house to brush her teeth because she doesn't want whomever to smell her breath.

And, I try to be really gentle. If I am too rough and she protests, I make sure to end with a very gentle brushing and say, "see that's not so bad."