Is it possible to get a co-sleeping baby to nap separately?

[1stTimeMama4-4-10]

DD is 5 months old and so far, she will sleep only one of two ways - nursed to sleep cuddled next to me, or in a carrier (DH uses the ergo, I use a sling or mei tai). She's actually a very good sleeper, and for that I am SO thankful. We are finally starting to be ready for a tiny bit of alone time though, and I don't really know how to do it. What I would really like to do is be able to put her down for a nap (not every time, just some times) in her bassinet, or crib, or in the bed, or wherever as long it's not physically attached to me or DH. It's just so hard to get anything done when physically attached to her - if she's awake, she doesn't want to be in a carrier unless we are taking a walk outside, and if she's asleep, we are afraid to do much because she is a light sleeper. Also, it would be AMAZING if we could put her down to sleep alone and then take her into our bed when we are ready to go sleep. A tiny bit of grown up time each night would work wonders for us. The problem is that she WILL NOT sleep away from us for even a second. I can very very rarely get her to sleep in bed and then slip away, but not usually. If she falls asleep and we try to transition her to anything she wakes, and she will not fall asleep ever unless it's one of the two ways mentioned.

We are prepared to not have any alone time, but it sure would be nice. Any help from mommas who have BTDT?

[akat]

I nurse mine to sleep in the chair, then ever so carefully transfer him to the swing and turn it on. Otherwise he's usually up in a few minutes. I don't have to be so careful transferring him when he's not teething.

[princesstutu]

OP, that is why X and I got okay with doing it with a nipple in the baby's mouth. Maybe that's no help, but that's my BTDT. Good luck!

[RomanGoddess]

I've always nursed mine to sleep, then put him in his crib (which is beside our bed). He sleeps by himself until we are ready to go to bed. If he wakes up before them, I just nurse him back to sleep again.

Caveat: I always put DS to bed on his tummy. This prevented him from waking. He woke up instantly if I tried to put him to bed on his back. I know this is contrary to medical advice but, well, he was and still is a light sleeper and would never have slept otherwise.

[jabeen]

Well I am no help...my almost 7 month old has never napped alone. He's either attached to my boob, in a lap or carrier, or just cuddled against me. So we have yet to have any alone time!! Yup, a bit of a problem...

[lalemma]

Our guy (now 10 months) was a baby barnacle for about his first 6 months, was basically never out of physical contact with an adult, you all know what I'm talking about.

We do family bed, but he almost always naps alone at this point, and he goes to sleep earlier than we do (8pm vs 10pm). Here's how we do it (although I do want to say that I think that a lot of this is just LUCK, we happen to have a guy who's a great sleeper, I don't delude myself into thinking that he's a good sleeper because we're just that awesome):

*I started around around 6 months: I could occasionally get him to nap alone for short periods, but ONLY if swaddled, so I'd do that whenever he'd allow it just to get some time to take a shower or whatever.
*he almost always nurses to sleep. I find it works best if I go lie down with him and he falls asleep while nursing and then I wait until his sucks slow down and poop the boob out of his mouth. At this point, he will almost always stay asleep. (Was previously not always the case, but I was willing to try.)
*it's much harder to get him to fall asleep and then put him down - he usually wakes up when he touches the mattress. his dad is more successful at this than I am. his dad can get him to sleep without nursing if he wraps him in a blanket and rocks him in the colic hold.
*if I miss his sleep cue and let him get too tired, it's ironically much harder for him to get to sleep. Like last night he was exhausted (I should have put him to bed 30 minutes earlier, but I was, selfishly, eating dinner) and it took 30 minutes for him to fall deeply enough asleep that I could get up. Usually it's pretty quick. So I watch the clock a little bit - he does the 2/3/4 sleep thing, where he needs a nap two hours after waking in the morning, another nap three hours after that one, etc. If I can stay in step with his internal schedule, it's easier for him to sleep.

Of course, we only have the one baby, so that's easy for us to say!

[P.J.]

We don't have this particular issue here, but I was reading The No-Cry Nap Solution today and she offers several solutions to get your baby to sleep somewhere other than on or next to you. It's a very handy book and I would recommend it for just about every mama. GL!

[carmen358]

DD used to just nap on me or on the floor in whatever room I was in. Once she became more of a busy body (around 5 months) that didn't work anymore. We got a crib more recently and she will take short 20 min - 40 min naps in it. At night we try and put her down in it until we go to bed (crib is in our room) but it doesn't last longer than a nap and she's up again. I have *never* been able to nurse her back to sleep after waking up in the crib...even though I go to her as soon as I hear her stirring. Oh, and she always nurses to sleep. She will nap for a couple of hours if I nap with her....or just sit beside her in the bed while she naps (which is what I'm doing right now )

I find it really hard some days not having an time alone with DP but mostly I just try and enjoy it and remember it won't last forever. She's growing up so fast...

[Peony]

I had 1 out of my 3 that would nap alone. The other way I was able to achieve that one is to nurse him to sleep on the mattress and then roll away. I always tried with the other kids but they woke up in such a short time that it was never was worth it. DS was a little more independent sleeper and would sleep sometimes 20m but sometimes 2 hours alone.

[1stTimeMama4-4-10]

Hehe, nice to know I'm not alone. I will check out the No Cry Sleep/Nap Solution, I've seen it mentioned a lot here. Unfortunately, the swing and swaddle are not options as she HATES them both. She hasn't tolerated either in about 2 months, and before that only tolerated them for short times.

[mamadelbosque]

About that age I realized I could lay ds2 down to sleep and he'd stay asleep... *IF* I layed him on his tummy. On his back he'd wake himself up almost everytime. But on his stomach he'd stay asleep.

[marinak1977]

DS used to be exactly like that and he still prefers to nurse down but over the last couple of month he got better and better at staying asleep on his own. He naps in the middle of the family bed (king size mattress on the floor) and I have the video monitor on to keep an eye on him. He also gives me a little more room at night (he used to sleep on the boob). So for us it got much better as DS got a little more independent. Hang in there mama.

[Perdita_in_Ontario]

wrong spot!

[astar326]

i nurse ds down on our family bed like many pp mentioned and then roll away. i found that he sleeps much better when i surround him with pillows. lately i have been putting him to sleep for naps on my back in the ergo, as i clean up or whatever. then i transfer him to the bed. there are you tube videos to see how to do this. best of luck.

[Abraisme]

Until my DD was 7mo the only way that she'd sleep away from me was if she was swaddled. Otherwise she'd wake up within minutes. Starting around 3mo I started putting her down for naps and at bedtime, so long as she was wrapped up tight it was fine. I also second nursing in bed and then carefully rolling away.

[TreeRose]

We have a similar issue, though she's only 2 weeks old. She doesn't actually nurse to a deep sleep. Rather, she's "drunk happy baby" after nursing and then will either fuss or will have to be rocked, swaddled, and "moved" to sleep. She requires so much movement. And we never know if she's going to wake in 10 minutes or 2 hours. This has been so difficult and yes, very hard to have alone time! I am so impressed and amazed by all these moms on the forums, doing what it takes and keeping your babies close to you. I'm determined to keep her close to me as well, while trying to learn how to meet her needs. If she's in a deep sleep, she can be laid in the bouncy chair (while turned on) and sleep for 20 minutes or more, which is great. Otherwise, her deepest sleeps are in the wrap (didymos) while I'm moving - not helpful at night or for alone time!

[akat]

Until the baby can roll over by themselves and hold their head up well, I recommend, instead of putting them on their tummy, try putting them on an incline with their legs bent, but on their back, like in a car seat bucket or a swing.

[laughingfox]

It depends on the baby somewhat. DD2 can be laid down sleepy, and sometimes fall right to sleep on her own. When she's napping, she sometimes wakes up, looks around, and goes right back to sleep.
DD1 was totally different at this age.

[stephbrownthinks]

My 4.5 month old has gone through so many nap changes! The first 2 months he would *only* nap if nursed to sleep and me snuggled next to him in bed or on the couch, or on one of our chests. We could never put him down! Then there was a period of him staying asleep if he was swaddled and nursed to sleep. Then out of the blue he decided that swaddling=torture. Then he went through a period of being rocked to sleep and napping in the playpen if I rocked him till he was completely out and layed him down carefully. Then for awhile he would only sleep on his stomach. Now all I have to do is put him in his crib when he's wide awake but showing signs of being tired and he just lays his head down and falls asleep, or talks to his mobile for a few minutes then drifts off to sleep. No fussing or anything and he'll nap for hours. Usually I put him on his stomach (he'll sleep longer that way), but sometimes he rolls over and sleeps on his back or side. I think it just depends on the kid.

[fruitfulmomma]

My oldest didn't sleep alone until he was 4. Years, not months. It was crazy.

All my girls have done naps fine after a month or two. I don't know if it is because they are more mellow or I did things slightly different or what.

With the youngest I lay her on the bed and nurse her to sleep and then gently move away from her. Sometimes she will only get a cat nap before the other kids wake her the other day she slept three hours straight. Usually it is somewhere inbetween.